(Sigh)....

Well, I figured I may as well show this one sinceporn brings the big bucks around here and I've no qualms of showing it.
There's story behind this one, well, there is behind every drawing ever done, though this one's a bit longer. Sorry, I'll try and keep it short.
(Cue Violins) Well, when I grew up a long time ago, there was this show called Dinosaucers we used to watch. This one character, Teryx, a female archaeopteryx, was wuite possibly the first character I developed a crush on. And considering that few people knew about the show, I figured she was all my own.
Well, over the years, the show cancled, and my crush soon became debilitating. (I actually tried several times to not look at girle magazines for fear of "cheating" on her.) Well, in this group called "Lava Dome Five," (my introduction into the furry world) a story called Aboslute Zero was created, a fanfic where the bad guys (the Tyrannos) had won, and their leader, a T Rex named Genghis (who had a thing for Teryx on the show), made her into his very own "queen" and sex slave.
Well, it felt like my heart and childhood had been torn out from me. To quote the song "My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold, my angel is a centerfold." :/
In time, I'd find other stories like this involving (Genghis) Rex and Teryx, and several other pieces of artworks and stories where she'd be with others who'd had a crush on her. And soon the crush became an obsession, and my fantasies with her became darker, until they were just SM fantasies. I soon realized this, and then started to fight it.
The turning point came when this person called "Mike O'brien." Started making a group and invited me to it. It was basically a series of fanfics about the Dinosaucers where the Tyrannos would kidnap earth women and have them become (many times willingly) sex slaves. And Teryx was included in the stories.
Now, with out saying much about the stories (believe me, Mike's a pretty decent and friendly guy, someone easily liked who'd never actually practise what he writes, but the stories, you just read for yourself), the whole m=premise seemed to so ridiculous and so much like some cheap porno film (Slavegirl: I was so against being kidnapped until I sucked his BIG DINO DONG! You get the picture.) That in my eyes, Teryx just turned into some cheap slut to me. Reason clicked in my head, and my crush was over, I was free.
Well, it's been several years, and while the urges do come back every now and then, it's more than controllable and I'm much better for it. Unfortunately, every now and then I also get a request from Mike, or a guy named Cyberwuffy (with new, impressive fanfics involving Teryx and her teammates) to make another Teryx drawing for their fics. (See, in the crush and obsession days, I was known for making some VERY accurate protrayals of the characters doing much of the things I've talked about, for Lava Dome 5, which is part of why I was invited by Mike in the first place, which I did do for him for some time as well as bring old screengrabs I had.) 
Now don't get me wrong, I could definitaly do some more of those pics and not have to worry about it affecting me. But personally, I'd really rather not. Teryx represents a time in my life that was pretty fucked up, and I'd rather not have to remember or dwell on it for the time being. Maybe some day in the future....
So, here I am now, older and weathered from my experience. It's not a total loss, though: after all "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and I'm now much wiser because of my experience. What's more, it's given me a chance to be creative with some of my character developement on that story I always talk about (now I I can just get off my lazy ass...!)
Anyways, the above picture is from one of the episodes, "Scales of Justice," where Genghis tries to sue the Dinosaucers for abuse. In one scene, Teryx meets Rex in an abandoned amusement park in order to try and woo him into changing his mind. This here's a sort of "alternate version" of the outcome, had the tables been turned and the sting "found out." Anyways, the copyrights are above.
Anyways, sorry about the "sob story," and if you'll excuse me, all this writing has given me an "urge" I need to take care of... *zzziip!*