On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the second day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the third day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the fith day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the sixth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the eighth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Eight nasty claw marks, 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the ninth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Nine loving licks, 
Eight nasty claw marks, 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the tenth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Ten zebra haunches, 
Nine loving licks, 
Eight nasty claw marks, 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Eleven cheetahs running, 
Ten zebra haunches, 
Nine loving licks, 
Eight nasty claw marks, 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag. 

On the twelth day of christmas my true love gave to me: 
Twelve birdie boilers, 
Eleven cheetahs running, 
Ten zebra haunches, 
Nine loving licks, 
Eight nasty claw marks, 
Seven outlanders scratching, 
Six young cubs whining, 
Five largish gas masks. 
Four warthogs f*rting, 
Three heyenas laughing, 
Two lions roaring and 
A meercat dressed up in drag.