My name is Flash, and I’m just an average wolf. I’d like to think so, at any rate. As difficult as it is for a fur to be a teenager, get through high school, and worry about dating, I’ve had the added “bonus” of having blue fur. It’s not all that uncommon, but it’s not all that common either. More than enough times have I had to answer as to why I have such a rare color of fur. The answer is: I don’t know for sure. Blame it on a recessive gene in my gene pool, according to my parents. That works for me, and I would rather live thinking that than think I am some sort of freak of nature. I’m no mutt either. 100% purebred wolf, through and through. I’m just a regular teen trying to get through life, whether it be that I have blue fur, purple fur, or orange fur. I happen to be the only student in my school to have such a color of fur. That’s all.

    Everything else about me is pretty much satisfactory: great friends, good grades in school, and a cute mate to boot. I couldn’t ask for much more. Maybe some height, as I stand at about 5’6”, which is a few inches from the norm, for a wolf at any rate. I might have some growing up to do, but a seventeen-year-old rarely has any major growth spurts. My coon friend Ralph, my best friend, is only an inch shorter than me, but is considered tall for his race. I suppose it’s how you look at it, but after living a life being outside of the norm, I don’t complain when I fit in just the slightest bit. I’d love to be the least bit average. After being babied by my mother to death, making me feel like I’m just like everyone else, I can’t help but be self-conscious about my looks. There is the, “Even though your fur is blue, you are just like everyone else. Many canines have fur of a…special variety” and, my personal favorite, “Any day now you’ll grow right up. Your neck has to grow out a little, that’s all. You’ll see!” I’ve been hearing THAT one for the past three years, and I have to be reminded of it all the time. Instead of feeling better about myself, I just spend more time examining and studying my flaws. I don’t obsess too much, but who can blame me when I do?

    Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a lot going for me. Last year I officially came out of the closet to my friends and family. It wasn’t long after that until the whole school knew that the little blue wolf everybody knew and loved wanted to yiff every male in the locker room. Stereotypical? Definitely. In my case though? Right on target! It wasn’t that bad though. My parents didn’t vomit at the idea, but my mother was somewhat disappointed that she wouldn’t have little pup grandchildren to take care of, and I was an only child, which meant I couldn’t rely on siblings to take over the grandkids job for me. Don’t blame me though. I didn’t tell my parents to only have one pup. What kind of pack was that anyhow? Maybe they thought the rest would have blue fur, like mine. Who knows? All of my close friends were fine with my sexuality. It was a little weird being in the locker room after a track meet, but my teammates quit being nervous around me after they found out that I was harmless, and wasn’t going to try and rape them when I was alone with one of them. I am a wolf after all, which are known for being aggressive hunters, and I did have my locker room fantasies, but I never acted on them!

    There are always some assholes that give me a hard time, but I quickly forget about them. The rest just leave me alone if they are uncomfortable.  Most in this day and age are open to the idea. Even my best friend Ralphy admitted he was at least bisexual. Of course, after getting dumped by that skunk Heather, and then that feline Becky, and then maybe three other girls, one could say he was just a little bit desperate for love and romance. Our relationship was good, though. We had many open and frank discussions about…well, what every teen male thinks about, which is sex. And yeah, I’ll admit that we even experimented once or twice…well maybe it was more like a dozen times. But we’re just kids, and I really thought his mask over his gray and black striped fur was cute. I think Ralphy dug my blue fur also. His taking a polite notice in it when we were both freshmen was how we both became friends.

    Ralphy and I have always been just friends. It’s simply how we are with each other, intimate friends. Any chance of us being in real relationship was lost once I found Rob. Rob. Rob. Just saying his name makes me weak in the knees. I love him so much it hurts. Rob is my bunny, my blond bunny. He came to our school last year, a month after I came out, and it was like love at first site. We had just about everything in common. It was a match made in heaven, as they say. I had to leave Ralphy to find a new playmate, much to his dismay, but he still seemed happy for Rob and I. Things had been great this past year. Our relationship had slowed down a bit, with us being too busy with our own musings to have as much sex as we used to, but keep in mind that he is a bunny, and a slowdown in our sex life gave me much more room to breathe, literally! It wasn’t until a little bit after that I really started to get worried about us. And lately I have been really taking a good look at the state of our relationship.

    “Mr. Flash, what do we do now for this problem?” Our large fox of a teacher asked me. She always knew when to call on me, and it was when I wasn’t paying attention the least. My fangs were poking out and my mouth was hung open, which meant that I wasn’t listening to anything that was going on in our Calculus class.

    “Umm, find the derivative, ma’am?” I answered after quickly looking over the problem we were doing in chalk, then told her the answer as she wrote down my correct response on the board. I gave her a wide toothed grin when I was done, showing my entire set of teeth and fangs. She loved catching students who weren’t paying attention, but she could never catch me. The teacher walked over to my desk with the chalk eraser and brushed over my head with it, then went back to the board. The class chuckled as I growled and tried brushing it out of the fur on my head, only to get it on my paws.

    “Hey, you look like a skunk, man.” Ralphy giggled next to me. I leered at him.

    “Such a supportive friend.” I responded as I beat my paws together over his lap. He looked down, seeing his lap with dabs of white, and covered his mouth to suppress a larger laugh. I waited for him to get a grip. “Don’t even say it.”

    “You should have been paying attention though, instead of thinking about…”

    “Yeah, no sh…Look, I just got a lot on my mind. I don’t need this.” I sighed.

    “Sorry.” He said sheepishly as he twitched an ear.

    “Look. I just need…”

    “I know, I know.” Ralphy pulled out a dark cloth from his pocket. “Here.” He said as he tossed it over to me.

    “Thanks.” I said, grinning and running it through my fur, letting it collect in chalk.

    “No problem. I don’t like seeing that blue in your ruined.” He grinned back and turned his attention back to the front for the rest of class. I, on the other hand, still couldn’t concentrate completely. Over the past year, things had been great between Rob and I. It’s different now, somehow, and I’m not just speaking about sex. I’d give up sex with him forever if everything was the way it used to be, if he was the way he used to be, with me at any rate. I just detected something, a changed attitude in Rob. I could see it in his eyes. It could be seen in his mannerisms, in his body language. It could be seen in the way he acted when with me and how we spent our time together. Were his feelings different now or was this the beginning of a new stage in our relationship? Maybe he has someone else on the side, another wolf, a better wolf, one without blue fur, like a little bit taller, maybe? I thought height wasn’t an issue, even with him a full seven inches taller than I was. We’ve gotten through each other’s shortcomings before, so why would it be any different now? It would be if he found someone else. It would be if he found someone without so many hang-ups. Is it possible that his parents got to him and told him that they had enough of him dating a wolf, telling him I was dangerous and not to be trusted? His parents never did like me all that much, but I didn’t care because I had Rob! I didn’t care if he was tall or his parents didn’t like me. The only thing I cared about was him and how much I loved him and wanted to be with him. Now it’s been too many excuses not to see me, too many reasons for not wanting to stay the night after making love, too many reasons for suddenly hanging out with new friends and not even introducing them to me. I loved him more than anything else in the universe, but now I am not so sure if he loves me the same, like he used to.

    Sitting here in class was too much agony for me. I felt like a prisoner here, not being able to do anything to shed light on my situation. Trapped! No control over my life anymore, like am being dragged along on a leash. There were so many questions and all I needed was one answer. One little answer that could only come from one person, and he can even give me the time of day to let me ask the question! I didn’t care about class if I couldn’t have Rob. I didn’t care about anything. Screw that fox bitch if I can’t pay attention, this poor wolf has more important things to deal with than integrals. Time is passing so slowly. Class won’t end fast enough! The last class of the day and on a Friday, no less. My parents were going away for the weekend and I invited Ralphy to spend the night, since lately I have been much more free to do things with my friends, as opposed to before when I would be with Rob almost every night of the week. Now I would be able to spend more time with my friends as the expense of my love life. All I could do now was wait and scream my heart out quietly. I wanted the truth, but I didn’t at the same time. It’s either moving forwards or backwards. Things were much better when we weren’t going anywhere. Now life is complicated.

    “Yo, let’s go.” A tap on my shoulder. I found my chin resting on my paw. I turned and saw Ralphy standing over me with his books hugged against his chest.

    “Where?” I asked. He gave me a look of disbelieve. He leant over to me.

    “Home!” He yelled in my ear and I pushed him back. It was then that I noticed the classroom was empty.

    “I didn’t hear the bell ring.” I said, shrugging to myself and packing up my books.

    “It rang five minutes ago. Are you all right?” Ralphy said, concerned. “We can do this another night if you want.” I stood up with my things.

    “No, tonight.” We started walking out. “Definitely tonight. I think I’m going insane or something.”

    “I’ve never seen you like this before.” He held the door for me and we went across the hall to the bathroom, shuffling past hundreds of students racing to get out of school and home for the weekend. “Maybe we should find Rob before we go home.”

    “I don’t know if he came to school today. Did you see him?” We entered the bathroom and I put my books down to run my head under the faucet.

    “Hmm…” Ralphy hopped up onto the sink next to mine. I shivered as the cold water drenched my head and muzzle. “I can’t remember. I don’t think so. If I saw him then it could have been this morning, of course it could have been yesterday, too. Did I look for him today or yesterday? Nope, can’t remember. You’d know better than I would.” I washed until my fur was clean of all chalk residue and then started drying it with a paper towel.

    “Damn. Damn it! Is he hiding from me or something?” I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. My blue eyes looked tired. The way my muzzle came out from my nose I looked sad and pathetic, like a poor, lost canine. “What’s wrong with me?”

    “Nothing’s wrong with you!” He hopped off the sink. “Come on, let’s go. You’ll feel better after we rent some movies. I forgot my wallet at home again though, so if it’s no big deal…

    “No, my dad left me some money.” I responded, scratching a fang with a claw as I inspected my teeth in the mirror. I was about to call it a day and retreat back to my house when I picked up a scent. “Wait a second.” I sniffed the air with a big whiff and perked my ears up. “Bastard!” I grabbed my books and ran out of the bathroom, looking threw the sea of furs.

    “What is it, Flash?” Ralphy said as he followed me out of the bathroom.

    “He’s here.” I jumped up trying to see over all the heads and get a visual. “I can smell his fruity shampoo. That stuff is so strong you don’t even need wolf scent to pick it up.” I hopped up and down but couldn’t see anything. “Do you see him, Ralph?”

    “No, I don’t see him. Keep looking!” He jumped up and down with me

    “I am, I am.” I muttered as I jumped up again and spotted his ears all the way down the hall to our left. “There he is! Come on let’s get him!” I screamed happily as someone pushed me down from behind. I landed against the wall and slid down onto the ground slowly.

    “Out of the way, jerk!” Was all I heard as the brute, whoever it was stepped over me. I scuttled back up, making sure I hadn’t dropped anything.

    “You’re the jerk!” I yelled to whoever it was.

    “Yeah, you’re the jerk.” Ralphy chimed in with me. “That guy just like came in and knocked you over and I couldn’t do anything about it. Are you ok?” He dusted me off.

    “I’m fine. Come on, we gotta catch Rob!” I insisted as I ran through the crowd in the direction that I saw the bunny, trying to overtake him before he was gone for good. I wove through the furs in the packed hallway, trying to catch up as fast as I could without having to resort to pushing someone over myself. I sped passed everyone, dipping through with my cunning reflexes and agility, following the scent that was getting stronger. I jumped up again, but couldn’t see him. I moved in deeper and tried jumping up even higher so I could see over all the heads. “Rob! Rob! It’s Flash!” I called out, but there was no answer. I was nearing the exit now and I still hadn’t found him. He was no where to be seen and my heart was pounding in anxiety. I called out again. Still nothing. Suddenly there was a grab on my arm, finely filed nails digging into my fur. I turned and saw Kim, one of my friends.

    “Hey Flash, are you looking over Rob?” She said as her white mouse claws maintained in my arm.

    “As a matter of fact, I am. Have you seen him?” I said, gritting my teeth as I pulled my arm back.

    “I did! You just missed him. He must have driven off two seconds ago. That’s ok, though. You’ll see him when you go out tonight.”

    “Going out tonight?” I furrowed my brow. “I’m not going out. I’m not even seeing him tonight. I don’t know where he is at all anymore!” I flung my arms into the air.

    “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that I overheard him talking with his friends about going to this popular club. I just assumed he was taking you there.” I ran to the side and banged my head against a locker, which promptly opened up after it was hit enough times.

    “Damn it! Damn it!” I slammed the locker shut again. “Damn it!” I slummed back against the locker and whined.

    “Tough break, Blue.” Kim was the only person in the world who could call me that. I wouldn’t even let Ralphy call me that. “Are you two breaking up or what?”

    “I don’t know.” I whimpered as I let my head fall in my hands. “I don’t even know what happened between us. I don’t even feel like I’m mated anymore.”

    “Don’t worry, everything will work out.” She said with a paw on my shoulder. “Even if things don’t last between you two, you’ll get through it. I know you. You’re a strong individual.”

    “But this just can’t be happening to me. It wasn’t like this, not at the beginning. You remember how great things were back then! I want those times back, the way they used to be.” I sniffled and rubbed the bump on my lambasted temple. Yeah, things were definitely better one year ago. With the way things are going now, it does not look like I will be celebrating any sort of one-year anniversary next month. Yeah. The past. When things were sweet and simple…

*        *        *

    I opened the main doors to my school and walked hastily towards my first class of the day, my Pre-Calculus book on top of the large pile in my arms. Math at the beginning of the day was not fun, but I was good at math so it did not matter. I had this ogre of a fox teacher, though, whom I suspected was out to get me. I was a rather smart allec in class and I didn’t take it seriously, but I still got good grades. I don’t think she enjoyed my not trying, yet maintaining an A average. She probably thought I cheated all the time, but that wasn’t true at all.
    
    As I was about to go through the door to my class, I heard my name being called from behind. I turned around to see my guidance counselor Mr. Leafe, a brown ocelot, accosting me. “Oh, I Mr. Leafe. How are you?”

    “Hello, Flash. I was just wondering how everything has been going for you this past month.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Any problems with your friends or classmates?”

    “Oh, hardly.” I shook my head. “I haven’t gotten a lot of problems. Maybe a little from those coyote seniors, especially Trek, but other than that I really have no complaints.”

    “Great, great. And your track team?” He said softly and clearly.

    “I think they are getting comfortable with the idea. No worries on that end.” I smiled.

    “Good, good. That’s wonderful because as you know our school does not have any sort of club or organization that deals with students who are out of the closet like you are.” He spoke so slowly I thought I would be late for class. “And, as you know, you are this school’s first individual who has been so open and honest about his sexuality. So if you had a problem, it might be difficult for you to receive help or support in dealing with it. You know?”

    “I understand, Mr. Leafe. If I have any problems then I’ll come to you with them.”

    “Excellent!” He patted me on the back. “Well, I don’t want you to be late for class. Have a good day.”

    “You, too!” I called out as he walked off. I sidestepped into class and sat in my seat next to Ralphy moments before the bell rang.

    “What was that about with Leafe?” Ralphy asked as he twirled his pencil around in his paw.

    “Status update, you know how it is. Same old questions, same old answers.” I said as I took out my notebook and pencil. Everyone in my school knowing my sexual orientation was no big deal, but everyone took it that way. More people asked about what problems I was having with other students than students actually giving me problems! It was fine though, because everyone was being a lot nicer to me than they were before, like my coming out was some secret ticket to fame and fortune. If my junior year was going by this easy, then I couldn’t imagine senior year being any different, if not better. All I needed now was a boyfriend. Sure, my friend Ralphy and I had done some things, and we were planning on doing some more tonight, but we were just friends fooling around, not romance-like or anything. He really wasn’t that bad, I just didn’t see him as a mate. Plus, the coon told me he was only bisexual, so most likely he will find a nice girl to settle down with and leave the things we had done in the past. I had no problem with that.

    “We might be a little late starting our class today because we have a new student joining us today.” The teacher said as she wobbled up to her podium. “It should only be a few minutes longer as he is…ahh, here he is now.” Everyone’s head turned toward the door and you wouldn’t even believe me if I told you the site the stood before me, before all of us. The most beautiful, tall, blond bunny that one had ever seen. The fur on the top of his head was dyed brown. He wore the tightest black shirt with tight, blue jeans to match. I could see the outline of his muscles and nipples, but that might be because I was looking too closely. An even better outline was in the crotch of his jeans, again possible because I was looking so hard, literally! I felt like I had died and gone to heaven as I looked upon this angelic being. “Everyone, this is…Rob. Why don’t you take a seat in front of Flash, here?” My own jeans were becoming inconveniently tight as he slowly walked over to the empty desk in front of mine, and I swear I almost spooged myself when he smiled at me and sat down. At once I detected a lovely aroma coming from him, probably from the shampoo that he uses on his fur. Whatever it was, I loved it and I think I fell in love with him from the start.

    “Hi, I’m Rob. You must be Flash.” He said in the loveliest tone ever, with a grin, as he shook paws with me.

    “Uh huh.” Was all I could say as my mouth hung open in awe of him.

    “You on the swim team?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

    “Uh huh.” I repeated again, not being able to form coherent sentences in my condition.

    “We’re losing him folks, losing him!” Ralphy muttered.

    I shook myself off. “I mean no, no I’m not. I’m on the track team.”

    “Well with a name like Flash I suppose you gotta be fast, eh?” He smiled at me again, showing his perfect, polished white teeth.

    “Yeah.” I giggled like a girl. “Yeah, I guess so.” I laughed again giddily and lost myself in his eyes. Ralphy rolled his eyes and shook his head.

    “Gone folks, gone…”

*        *        *

    “You’re going to have to start living in the present, Blue.” Kim said. “If the present is as hideous as it looks, then that’s just the way things are. You know?”

    “Yeah, I know.” I said, looking down from her gaze. “I just don’t want it that way…”

    “I know you don’t want it that way, but if that’s the way things are then you’re going to have to learn to move on.” She said insistently. “I’m sorry, Blue, I really am, but hey, it’s possible we might just be jumping to conclusions. No?”

    “No, you’re right. You’re exactly right, Kim.” I sighed. “I just have to find out. That’s all there is to it. Of course finding out is exactly what I’ve been trying to do.”

    “Try to catch him over the phone when he’s at home.” She shrugged and started backing away. “Well, Blue, I have to get going, have a good weekend and tell me what happens. Good luck!” She called as she left through the double doors. The conversation, while enlightening, still didn’t help my cause. If anything, it worsened it! Not only can I not get ahold of Rob, but he is going to clubs without me, without even telling me, with his new friends. I banged the back of my head against the locker again. I can’t move forwards and can’t move backwards. My sudden excommunication with my mate has left me in a stasis. Maybe I should just break it off with him and spare us both the trouble. I know it would sure as hell spare me my feelings, rather than hearing some big, long speech from him about how our relationship isn’t working out, bringing up problems that I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t take not knowing much longer. Every second of waiting seemed like hours. Hours seemed like eternities. Who was I kidding anyhow? Kim had the right idea. If this is the way things are then that’s the way things are. I should just make a clean break from him! But…but what if I am wrong? Everyone makes mistakes. It is possible everything that I thought was true was just hearsay, or a complete misunderstanding. If I just waited a little while longer, until I can hear directly from the horse’s mouth. No, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past week. If I was smart then I would just say fuck it and call myself single again. I am not that strong though. I would be insane to turn my back on a yearlong relationship. After all we’ve been through, I cannot simply say “oh well” and break it off. I need confirmation. I need closure. My heart is hanging by a string and for it to be cut completely, releasing it from the incredible tension, and break would be a much bigger relief than this kind of torture. Don’t know. Don’t know what to do anymore. The seeds of my love and devotion are buried too deep.

    “Flash! Flash!” I heard Ralphy’s voice coming from the crowd. Moments later he tumbled out of it, into my site. “Flash! There you are.” He choked out, leaning against the wall trying to catch his breath. “I don’t know how you run that fast.” His ears perked up and he looked around. “Where is Rob? Did you catch up with him?”

    “Come on Ralphy.” I sighed “Let’s go home.” I said softly as I walked out the double doors, looking down at the ground, letting my tail swoosh between my legs.