Negotiations
By Ebonhawk

Welcome back to the coverage of the 32th annual Solar system races. This coverage brought to you by Retro-fusion MP365 a division of Terasota genetics lab. Just remember - better living though genetic manipulation. 

Well, in case you have missed it the Happy Kitty has been engaged in a see saw battle with last year’s  Calamity. The pair  has blown away from the  other 500 solar sailors but now it seems that today on the last leg of the race, Happy Kitty is poised to take the 45 million mile race to mars and back in a record 3 months. The crew of the Happy Kitty is composed of one pride of feline furs and a single human brother/sister team. The cats are all furs descendant from the terran house cat. The humans are Jack Coleman (pilot) and his little 14 year old sister Cynthia (navigator). For those that remember the Colemans from last year it would come as no surprise that the sibling team has been taking every opportunity, no matter how ill-advised, to distance themselves from the field. This time with a team as fast and agile as the crew of the Happy Kitty, most observers believe that the pair may be able to avoid the tragedy that occurred last year and bring home the victory.    

The Happy Kitty has had a full 3-minute advantage on Calamity coming to  the finish; however, in the last half hour,  the Happy Kitty has slowed down to a virtual stop - putting victory in doubt. As you well, know we here at the SSBC will give you what you want. So now we are activating our secret audio link to the Happy Kitty in hopes of finding out what problem is threatening to steal victory from the Colemans and the feline captain and crew of the Happy Kitty.

Feline Male voice (FM): What? They are closing on us.

Human Male voice(HM): I know that. What do you say?

FM: This is not the time.

HM: I disagree this is the perfect time

FM: Are you trying to be cute, human

HM: No sir, Captain Killman, Sir. Especially with a name like yours.

FM: I earned it in the war and it looks like I will have to do so again if you don’t get us moving again

HM: I am not asking that much. 

FM: She is my daughter.  You can’t have her.  You scum; I should rip you apart.

HM: That’s true but if you kill me, you can’t guide this ship to the win.

* Growling sounds heard *

HM: Hey,  I am not asking that much. I just want to marry her. 

FM: No.

Cute Female Feline voice (CF): Daddy, I love him. 

FM: Quiet, little one.

HM: Hey, cat - I promise I’ll do good by her. 

FM: You’re a Solar Sailor. By definition that makes you the worst kind of rift raft. 

CF: But Daddy, you’re a Solar Sailor, too. 

FM: That’s why I know. Now, let go of him, girl. 

CF: But Daddy….

FM: You can pout all you want but you are not getting your way this time. You can do so much better then him. He doesn’t even have fur  

HM: But, ‘Daddy’, Jerry Vil is a hairless Manx fur and you didn’t mind him seeing your daughter”

FM: That was different. At least he has proper canines.”

HM: I had my pre-flight exam and I am in purfect shape. 

FM: Stop jiggling girl you’ll only encourage him. And HUMAN I have warned you.

HM: Yup, you have; but, if you don’t make a decision soon you won’t have to worry about your victory speech or your prize money.

FM: Human…huh…Jack. Please finish the race and than we can talk about this like rational creatures.

HM: But love makes me crazy, ‘Daddy’.

FM: Don’t call me that.  Filthy human.

HM: Hey now. That isn’t a nice thing to say. 

FM: How many baths do you take in a day, again? 

HM: One or two.

FM: That’s exactly my point. 

CF: He’s a good man, daddy.   

HM: Calamity is coming up hard on our port at 45 degrees to pass us inside, ‘Pop’. 

FM: Come on, Jack. You don’t want to loose anymore then I do. And don’t call me pop.

HM: Then marry  us right now. 

CF: Please, Daddy.

FM: No way her mother would kill me. 

HM: Then don’t do the ceremony, just say the words. 

FM: Hummm, I don’t know.

HM: I promise not to make another feline joke in your presence. 

FM: I’ll believe that. 

HM: Honest. 

FM: Okay, your married.  Now win us that prize money. 

HM: Already done. 

FM: What?  How? 

HM: Easy. We never stopped moving relative to the moon and hence the finish line.  You were right I hate to lose when I can have it all. 

(*Sounds of kissing*) 

FM: Do you have to do that in public, girl? 

CF: He’s my catnip. What do you want me to do, daddy?

HM:  I love you, Lil. 


Wow. Looks like he is right. Well, it’s all over. And our best wishes to Jack and Lilian. This is Jason McNeil for SSBC sport where the Happy Kitty wins the 32nd annual  Solar System Solar Sailing race and Jack Coleman has won the claw of the cat he loves.