Don’t You Wish You Knew Him Too? By and copyright Eric Chambers No reposting, redistributing, or altering Mia Moire copyright Chad Burbidge Bob Sands copyright Eric Chambers "Hey Jealousy" (C) Gin Blossoms (with apologies)    This story opens on a busy street. It’s sunny of course, otherwise the street wouldn’t be busy, and it’s a typical...well, you pick the day, it’s your imagination. There are shops, and there are restaurants, and of course, with any urban setting, there’s construction. But we’ll get to those later, as for now, there’s a certain gray, flannel clad mouse we need to focus on, otherwise dear reader, there wouldn’t be a story.   Bob sat against the brick wall of some store he had  never been in, playing an acoustic guitar and singing for people he never looks at, for change he never really used. It was just fun and if he was really bored, it could be a game. Of course there was always the shouts of "get a job" or "bum", but hey, fuck them, right? However, dear reader, there is one thing you must know about Bob, he’s a little paranoid and he always carries a five and a half inch, silver survival knife at his side, but no worries, he’s not violent.   "Tell me do you think it’ll be all right...if I could just crash here tonight...you can see I’m in no shape for driving and anyway I’ve got nowhere to..."   From across the street, loudly interrupting, "Hey faggot, suck my dick!"   Now, remember the construction that was mentioned earlier? Well we all know how huggable and intelligent construction workers are, hence the witty banter, so we can safely assume that these are the villains of the story. And just like every story, there can be no villain without a hero...so enter the hero.   She strolled up beside Bob, seemingly out of nowhere; a round, yet attractive skunkette, standing in the sunlight in worn blue jeans and a dark purple T-shirt, she looked across the street and yelled, "I think your buddy’s already busy with your tool!"; referring to a lion taking a wrench out of the offending construction worker’s, a tiger, tool belt. The lion stopped what he was doing, looked at his buddy who in turn looked at him, and in all macho fashion, the lion turned and left. Can you guess what happened next, dear reader?   "What’d ya say, bitch? Ya wanna say somethin’ to my face?!", the tiger snarled at the skunkette from across the street.   "Why don’t you come over here so find out, big boy?", she, of course, retaliated with. Bob, however, was not so confident. He sat down his guitar as he watched as the tiger and some of the other workers came down off the building-in-progress (your tax dollars at work!).   "Um...what are you doing?", he asked in a small voice.   "Don’t worry, they won’t hurt me."   "It’s...um..not you I’m worried about.", he said, backing against the wall and getting to his feet. The skunkette turned around and for the first time really noticed who she was protecting. To say he was a stark contrast to her would of been an understatement: he was thin, a hundred and forty/hundred and fifty pounds at the most, about six feet tall, had long gray hair down to his neck , glasses that reminded her of John Lennon, and a strange sad/bored expression on his face.   "My name’s Mia Moire.", she offered her paw.   "Bob Sands...thanks for sticking up for me.", he shook it and then placed his hand by his right hip, resting his hand on a vertical bulge under his flannel over-shirt.   "My pleasure...I don’t think it did a whole lot of good though.", she said as she looked over across the street at the advancing workers. "If you want to, you can run. I don’t think they’re going to hurt me, just harass me."   Bob now looked across the street, "Not that I’m not thinking about it, but I wouldn’t do that to you.", his mouth widens slightly into a smirk, "What kind of man would that make me?"   Mia laughed a bit to herself, "About as much as they are....and speaking of..."  The tiger was followed by two other workers, a Doberman and a fox. They crossed the street through traffic and were on the other side in seconds.   The tiger threw up his arms in an aggressive manner, "Ya wanna say somthin’ now, bitch?   "Fuck you.", Mia growled and stepped back.   "Oh, it’s gonna be like dat, huh, ya fat bitch?", he grabbed Mia’s wrists and pulled her foreword. In a flash, however, Bob was in-between them.   "Ok, Mr. Prick, you and the testicle brothers have made your point, we’re scared. Now be so kind as to unhand the lady."   The tiger stared at Bob for a second, "Faggot, why’re talkin’ like dat?"   "As you flaunt your intelligence with your speech, I flaunt my intelligence with mine."   The tiger stared at him for a second longer. "Huh?"   Bob sighed a short sigh, "You’re an idiot."   Now if you’ll let me interject here for a minute, something amazing happened. Bob hurt the bully’s feelings. And you all know what happens when you hurt someone who’s stronger then you feelings, right? Sure you do.   The tiger let go of Mia’s wrist...and balled it into a fist, striking Bob in the cheek, and knocking him to the ground. Bob laid there for a second after hitting the concrete, his last memory before being hit was Mia screaming his name. As he pushed himself up, he rubbed his cheek, "Um...ok...ow..." The next thing he knew, the Doberman kicked him in the ribs.   "Faggot."   Bob slid back down to the concrete and once again tried to get up, "Um...ow...again..." Mia had enough though. She elbowed the tiger and pushed him about five steps back. The fox and the Doberman just looked at him blankly as he tried to regain his breath.   "You...*cough*...bitch..."   Once again, I have to interject, sorry. You may be wondering why no one is helping Mia and Bob, or why no one has called the police. Well, trust me, when you get into your own public fight, almost no one calls the cops, hardly anyone even stops and if they do, it’s to stare. On with the show.   The fox glanced back where Bob was and noticed he was gone, guitar and all. He tapped on the tiger’s shoulder. "Hey man, he’s gone." The tiger looked down at the empty space and then back up to Mia.   "Yo’ little fag friend ditched ya." Mia just stood there with her teeth bared, growling. "We gonna have a little fun now, ho.", he sneered. He brought himself back up to full height and walked toward her, pinning her arms when he was in distance. The Doberman laughed and the fox just looked across the street at nothing in particular. Mia struggled violently but the tiger was too strong and kept her pinned. So she did what any self-respecting woman would do, she kneed him square in the balls. He, of course, was taken back.   "Hahaha, it’s not even as big as I thought it was.", she laughed as he backed off a few steps, bending over. Then, almost by pure testosterone alone, he rose back up, slamming his open palm into the brick wall beside Mia’s head.   "Bitch!", he screamed, now only an inch from her face. Mia looked into his eyes and suddenly was blinded by a flash of light coming from the tiger’s neck. He froze himself, feeling something bite into his neck just above his collar bone.   "Let her go. No talking. Do it or die.", Bob said coolly from behind the tiger. He let his hand go slack from the wall and backed up, every step followed by Bob until they were clear of Mia and facing the opposite direction, toward to construction site. "You’re going to walk over there and you’re going to do it fast, you will not look back. Do you understand?"   "Yeah, I understand.", the tiger grunted.   "Good. Scoot." The tiger and his fellow workers scooted.   "Well, if that wasn’t heroic I don’t know what his." Bob turned around to meet face to face with a smiling Mia.   "You think so?", he said.   "Oh defiantly, a little anti-climactic, but hey, I’m not complaining.", she said, giggling a bit. She started down the sidewalk a bit, "You coming?"   "Um...yea, I guess." Bob reholstered his knife and followed Mia. They walk around until sunset, going well beyond the original busy street with it’s shops, restaurants, and construction. They talk most of the time but for minutes at a time they just look at the people going by or at the sky for no real reason, unless pure shock counts. After walking a hour after sunset, they reach an apartment complex, lit only by a few arc-sodium lights and the light from the moon.   "If you don’t mind, this is my stop.", Bob said, glancing at the apartments and back.   "No, it’s ok, it’s getting late anyway. Um...Bob, I was wandering, where’s your guitar?"   "With a friend, I’ll get it tomorrow."   "Oh.", she said nodding, then paused. "You know, I meant it when I said that was heroic... if there’s anything you want..." Mia leaned in closer, Bob, however, pulled back.   "Mia...I can’t...It’s not you, not by any means...I just can’t," he looks down at his feet, "I’m sorry."   "Are you seeing someone?"   "No...", he said, still looking down, "I just....can’t. I’m sorry." Mia laid her paw on Bob’s shoulder, causing him to raise his head.   "Don’t apologize." She leans in and kisses his cheek, "It’s all right. Look, if you ever want to talk," she pulls a little, white card from her pocket, "call me here." Bob takes the card and holds it up to his face in the dim light.   "The Harem? Is that where you work or where you live?"   "Both.", she says smiling.   "Heh, ok."   "I’ll have to...introduce you to all my friends," she says with a grin, "Hopefully you’re up for many , many introductions."   He gives her a weary look, "Oooook...we’ll see. But I really need to go before my roommate gets worried."   "Worried?"   "Or go into my room and steals my change, either or."   "Heh, all right, good night.", she says, kissing him on the cheek again. Bob smirks a bit and waves a good-bye. Mia does the same as she heads into the night.   Well that’s the end, dear reader, of a story full of action, love, and...um...swearing. Maybe you were expecting a lot more love? A lot more gooey love? Well sorry, life isn’t like that, if you want gooey go buy Hustler. Wait...on second thought, don’t do that either. We have love here for you...I have love here for you... Heh, I’m joking folks, I hate all of you. So, in closing, don’t pick on the little guy and treat women with respect, more respect then you would any man, and maybe I’ll work on loving all of you.