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Author: Nate Fichthorn |
Story Index Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 |
One thing about most universities is that people need to get in and out fairly easily. Even in the private ones with the nuns and everything else, students usually find ways to get out for nights on the town. And the teachers, too. So there's usually plenty of ways in and out, since it would be embarrassing for a student to run into a teacher playing hooky and vice versa. Of course, IOU generally left its gates open, except in crisises. And then it was usually to keep some sort of unspeakable eldrich horror or magical accident inside, rather than people out. So, getting into the University itself wouldn't be hard. Getting into the quarters of the head of the university, now that might take some work. Anyway, the next morning, I met the two of them at a square near IOU. The square was crowded with a mass of people. Using the term in its most liberal possible way. Shopkeepers trying to convince people to buy their stuff, fishwives, more merchants, adventurers, rich folks in their fancy sedan chairs, and pickpockets, all the usual people were there, doing all the things they did to keep the city going. By the time I found Julia near the fountain (didn't want to get too close, it didn't run very well any more, and stank to high heavens), my pouch of money was a bit heavier, from clumsy, new, or just plain clueless pickpockets who'd tried to steal from me. I'd let them, then just swiped it back, along with theirs. "Well, let's go!" I called, right behind them. She spun around wildly, the sword halfway out when she looked and didn't see anybody. Then she looked down. I smiled cheerfully and waved. Julia grumbled. That's the trouble with adventuring fighter types, so jumpy. "Well, let's go," I repeated. She looked at me. "What, go get it now?" "Hmm? No, probably not. Gotta go look around though, don't we?" "What, just waltz in the front door?" "Well, it's open, isn't it?" I gestured across the square, toward where IOU was. I couldn't see the door, one of the problems of everybody being taller than me, but if it had shut, we would have noticed. "Well, yes," she said doubtfully, "But it's not exactly busy." "It IS a mage school. Most people have the good sense to stay away, especially when Summoning 101 or Experiments in Explosions 203 are in session." "I don't think the guards will let us in," the sword said, "We're not exactly welcome people there right now." I looked her up and down. Yeah, fairly likely to stick in somebody's memory. At least parts of her. Admittedly, most barbarian heroines look similar, but there hadn't been very many of them around lately, for some reason. "So," I said, "what we need is a disguise for you. Nothing easier. Just need to find the right stalls." I looked around. I saw plenty of parts of people. But I couldn't see the stalls, and the layout of the markets in the squares always changes. "Hmm. Pick me up, so I can see where we're going." She looked doubtful. I looked innocent and pleading. Finally, she sighed, and picked me up and put me on her shoulder. "There we go. Much better view from up here," I said, looking around (and down). Julia turned her head and looked at me. I proceeded to whistle innocently and make a great show of looking around for clothing stands. "Thataway!" I called, and pointed. "Yell a little louder next time, I can still hear out of that ear." Amazing how easily the crowds parted before a tall barbarian. Of course, most barbarians that ended up in the city usually ended up drunk, and a drunk barbarian that can't tell you from a swamp monster does much to encourage natural selection. Actually, considering the number of barbarian heroes, and how many ended up dead, I was surprised that there were any left to make little barbarians to go off and become heroes and get themselves killed. However, my pondering was interrupted when we reached the clothing stalls and Julia dumped me unceremoniously on the street. She must have noticed that I wasn't looking just at the market. Oh well. "Right, now, to find a disguise that nobody would ever associate with you. Or at least with a barbarian heroine. Let me see..." I climbed up the pole supporting one of the awnings of the closest stall, then walked along the stalls, jumping from awning to roof to whatever, checking for good disguises, sometimes hanging down from the roof to get a better look at something and scaring the crap out of some merchant. Great fun. Finally, came upon the perfect disguise. "Ah HAH!" I yelled, making Julia look over. "About time," she said. "And here I thought women liked shopping for clothes. Guess there's not much variety in leather underwear though, is there? Brown, white, and black. And the other two give people kinky ideas." She glared at me, so I grinned and held up the disguise. "No. No way. You want me to wear THAT?" "You've got to admit, nobody would associate it with the 6' leather clad barbarian." "The true hero does not sneak in like some common thief, dressed in a disguise to hide their true nature..." the sword began. "Oh, shut up," we chorused at it. "Do you have a better idea?" I asked her, "You have to admit that NOBODY would associate you with this disguise. She glared at me. I looked innocent and kept holding the disguise out. "Fine," she muttered, finally. "Great!" I jumped down, haggled a bit with the merchant, paid for the disguise, then handed her the disguise. "Now, you go put this on, then we'll go in separately, we'll meet up by the grove of orange trees." "Orange trees?" she asked, "I thought they didn't grow around here." "They don't. Although I'm sure there's probably some on the campus. I meant the ORANGE trees. You'll know them when you see them. Now, go get dressed."
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