I doublechecked the cord, and the balloon. Typhus had given me the balloon to get rid of me one day, it could support the weight of me and the cord. And best of all, it had a nifty little remote that let me make the balloon go up and down. The cord was this really spiffy stuff, that stretched, then rebounded. Perfect for what I was doing. I untied the balloon from the roof and hung on to the handles I'd placed underneath. Just a bit longer...bit longer. Ah, there we go. Right over them. I let go of the handles.

Wheeeeee! The cord stretched, stretched, then boooing! bounced me back up, a foot over their heads. Damn, too high. While I bounced back up, I lowered the balloon just a bit. Looked like I was headed right for one of the guards. Quick touch, and the balloon went up a teeny bit. I tapped him on the shoulder, then boooing! I was going back up and grabbed the plume from his helmet on my way.

The guard whirled around, hand going for his sword. He didn't see anybody except some normal people, trying their best to look inconspicuous and untaxable. He glared and turned back as the Grand Exchequer said something to him. Hrm, the balloon wasn't going quite fast enough, I was falling behind. I let it lower a bit as I headed back down.

The cord stretched and stretched and I ended up almost hitting the ground right behind the guard I'd tapped on the shoulder. Before the cord yanked me back up, I grabbed his bootlaces and pulled them both out. He stumbled, then tripped, but boooing! I was going back up. The guard fell, but didn't manage to knock over any of the others, which annoyed me. However, they did all stop and turn to look. Well, for a second, anyway. The Grand Exchequer saw his untied laces, and started chewing out the poor guy on the ground. The other guards turned, to watch the whole street, in case of an ambush or something.

Since they'd stopped, I'd drifted forward. Good. Looked just right. I dropped right in the middle, behind the Exchequer. A bit higher, since I didn't want to hit the ground. The guards didn't see me, since they were all looking out at the street. The Exchequer and the guy on the ground weren't paying any attention either as I lifted a nice heavy pouch from the Exchequer's belt. boooing! A bit too heavy a pouch, I realized, as I was bouncing back up and the balloon was coming down to meet me.

I told it to go up, but it didn't listen, it just started coming down slower. Well, if I wanted to avoid making a Forsyth shaped smear on the road, I had to do something to get lighter. I took careful aim, and dropped the pouch at the Exchequer. When I dropped it, the balloon shot up, dragging me with it. The cord stretched and went boooing! and tossed me up again. I managed to get the balloon stopped, but now I was heading for it. I missed, but grabbed one of the handles on the way back down, which set the whole thing rocking. Yay. Beneath me, I heard a thud, then the jangle of coins, and shouts. When the balloon settled down, I looked down.

Well, my aim had been, as always, true. The Exchequer was lying on the street, the purse next to his head. Quite a few coins had spilled out, glinting in the muck. Two of the guards were attending the Exchequer, two were looking around at the roofs and stuff nearby, and two were looking up at me. I gave them a happy wave, then used that free hand to hunt in my pouches. Ah, there it was, the distinctive smooth almost fabric of the portable hole. I pulled it out, still rolled up, as the guards yelled and pointed at me.

Luckily, none of them had bows or anything. They'd succeeded in waking up the Exchequer, and had gotten him back to his feet. Of course, he made the guards who'd helped him pick up the coins, as he glared up at me and shouted something incoherent. I gave him a happy wave too. The guards finished picking up the coins and were putting them in the pouch. That was my cue, I let go of the balloon again.

The shouts of the guards looking up got the Exchequer's attention, right after he'd made sure he had the purse safely in hand. He looked as shocked as the guards, as they all stared at me plummeting at them. They didn't even think to draw their swords or anything until I'd just about reached them, which was too late. I opened up the portable hole as I reached the bottom, and held it under the Exchequer's arm as the cord went boooing!

Like I'd hoped, it pulled me back up, with the hole right under the purse. Of course, the Exchequer's hand was still there, too, and went in too. The cord must pull harder than I'd thought, since even with the Exchequer hanging by his arm, we still got pulled up above the guards. Of course, the balloon was now plummeting toward the ground, which we'd be doing shortly too. "Unhand me! This will mean your death, brigand!" the Exchequer shouted.

"I'm right here, idiot, you don't need to shout," I said, shaking the portable hole, trying to get his arm out of it and make him drop the purse. He would have no part of that, and tried to swing his other arm around, to grab me or it. Then gravity realized what we were doing, and decided to start paying attention again. That took his mind off things, even though we weren't actually all that high up. Well, bugger. Looked like I'd be making a nice Forsyth shaped hole in the street after all...hang on a second, that's an idea!

The Exchequer flailed around wildly, dislodging his arm from the hole, without the purse, I noticed, then landed on two of his guards, who'd probably been trying to catch him. Or me. I spread the portable hole out in front of me, with my hands on the inside edges. It hit the Exchequer and stuck, and I dived right into it.

One thing I realized, while I was falling into it, I STILL didn't know all of the stuff in there. I mean, I recognized most of it, but I plummeted past "shelves" of things I didn't have the slightest clue where they'd come from. I noted some of the more interesting ones, while hoping the balloon hadn't actually hit the ground and fallen apart. Evidently not, as the cord went boooing! I got to see my trip in reverse order.

I zoomed back out into the light and noise, the noise being mostly the Exchequer screaming hysterically, apparently thinking I was going to rip him apart inside or something. I caught my fingers on the edge of the hole as I came out and peeled it off him, The balloon was hovering right above the range of the guards' swords, luckily none had thought to cut the cord between me and it. I sent the balloon back up and we accompanied each other into the air, next to each other. But gravity kept tabs on me, and the balloon started to pull ahead, until I grabbed the handles yet again.

I hung there, as the guards waved their swords at me and the Exchequer gradually realized he wasn't dead. I reached into the portable hole and pulled out a bucket I'd spotted (well, smelled) in my little trip, and tossed it to them as a goodbye present. A breeze picked up, and started blowing me away from them, which was fine by me. I'd have enjoyed messing with the guards a bit more, but hey, I'd got what I'd come for. Actually, it'd been rather fun. I wondered briefly if I could maybe sell the idea, but nah, who else would want to jump out of a perfectly good balloon?