Practicing Patience

                            By:

                         Fox Cutter

04/08/99:

I smiled as I read over the PADD, relaxing back to sit on
the bed as I did so. It was a message from N'taki, the final
confirmation of our plan. The clone was in the tank, his
wife felt that the procedure would be easy to do, and it
would only be a month before things would be good to go.

I felt a little shiver, both because I was eager, and that
it brought back memories of H'Naala's examination of my
mind. It was an unnerving experience. Only twice before had
I been in telepathic contact with anyone, once when I was
arguing with the Wyrm, and during the month that Rhea was
killing me.

Which was almost a year past now.

Either way, this last time felt nothing like the first two.
I wasn't suppose to really notice her probing, but I
couldn't help not to. Simply put, as a Natural, I have no
telepathic ability, I'm telepathically null, with certain
exceptions.

This means that I don't get the usual telepathic 'noise'
that normal people do. They learn to filter it out, ignore
it, and pretend it doesn't exist. Those who don't become
telepaths, learning to pull meaningful information out from
the noise.

I have neither of those defenses. So, having her psychic
fingers in my mind was something I noticed. It felt creepy,
cold chills up and down the spine type of thing. To my own
embarrassment, I freaked out the first time she got very
deep, jumping away, slapping her paws back from my face,
immediately in a defensive position.

Of course, I apologized right away, as did she. This was a
new experience for her as well, dealing with a Natural. She
was more careful after that, telling me what she was doing
before and while she did it. It took longer, but it worked
out as the best way to do it.

It felt good to know that things would work out in the end.
The timing was good as well, not the best (I was hoping this
would be done by the end of this week when I started this
project) but waiting for the OK from everyone is more
important than symbolic dates.

There was another date that I could use as well, it should
match up with the clone easily. Now I just had to sit back
and wait, at least until things were ready.

Pulling myself to my feet, I dropped the PADD onto my
dresser and headed out of the room. Ravindar was,
unsurprisingly, waiting for me outside the door, tail
flicking, arms crossed, ears pulled forward, eyes looking
across the hallway.

Kalie was looking right back at him, leaning up against the
wall, arms relaxed, and dressed in a large shirt and a pair
of jeans. Strange for her, her species usually just wore a
set of shorts and tops that blended in with her fur.

She grinned as she saw me. "Hi, Fox," she said, walking
towards me. "The lug and I were in a staring contest, I was
winning," she said the last part with a smirk.

"You blink once a minute," I commented, "so winning a
contest like that would be easy."

She laughed, more vibrant than she had been in months.
"Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it. Here, take
this," she held out her paw, in it was a small flat
circle-like device, with a nobby part on one end. It had a
mixed gray and black color, with a surface like plastic.

"What's this?" I asked, picking it up from her paw.

"A zero point power generator," she said with a nod. "It's
from Grasion's list."

I smiled with surprise. This was the second one she had
picked up in the past week. The first was an EVA shield
generator. That meant there were only two more of the tech
items that Grasion had hidden, still left to retrieve. I'd
been too busy of late to deal with retrieving them, as had
everyone else.

"Thanks," I said, still smiling, setting it back into her
paw. "Put it in the book with the rest of the stuff."

She smiled wider, she seemed to live for my approval now.
Strange as it was, it looked to be true. The only problem
was, the remaining two wouldn't be as easy as those she had
already done.

"The last two of these aren't going to be that simple as
this." I told, watching her face fall slightly. "Do you
think you can wait till either Oria or I can tag along?"

She laughed, understanding that I was interested more in her
safety than holding her back. At least I hoped she
understood, I could never tell with her.

"Don't worry Fox, you can count on me not to do anything
stupid," she said, placing her free paw on my shoulder.
"I'll mind my manners."

I grinned. "Don't worry about that just yet. I like you as
you are, minding your manners wouldn't be like you."

"Oh, Fox," she said with a slight sigh, the look on her face
changing, "there's a lot of things that aren't like me
anymore." With that cryptic response, she turned around and
left, her tail hanging lower, the tip dragging on the
ground.

"Damn, I wish I knew what's been going on with her," I said,
shaking my head as I did so. "She's been moody like this
since she came back to Prid."

I glanced up at Ravindar, he hadn't moved from the position
he was in when I came out of the door. He was just as cold
and dispassionate as ever. "Why am I telling you," I said,
"you won't even talk to me."

"Perhaps you should ask her?" he suggested, tilting his head
down to look at me. "It would be more direct and accurate
than speculation as to why she's changed."

I chuckled, more sure than ever that he was a bit softer
than anyone was suppose to know. I was starting to find that
I was beginning to like him. "I don't want to pry into her
private life."

He narrowed his eyes, giving me a long look, like he was
weighing what to say. "Fox, I think she wishes for you to
pry. If she is so changed, she may be embarrassed to tell
you about it herself. She might  be hoping for you to ask,
so she can allow herself to tell you about it."

"Really," I said with a smile, "and when did you learn so
much about her?"

He shrugged. "I was the only boy in my family, and I have
seven sisters. I know how they think."

I nodded. "I'll have to think about it. You realize this is
the most candid you've been with me since you started this
job?"

He cracked a smile, which seems to be unfamiliar territory
for his face. There was a fight between the muscles of his
cheeks and chin to see how it was going to be formed.
Finally something won out and he actually managed to do it.

"Any particular reason as to why?" I asked him as I started
down the hallway.

"I suspect it's because your don't seem to be content with
just letting me alone," he answered, following a step behind
me. "You don't seem to wish for me to remain a quiet
bystander until I'm needed. It's not what I was trained for,
but I will manage."

I laughed, falling back a step to pat him on the back. "It's
nice to know you're actually a person, and not some kind of
robot. I was really starting to wonder."

He chuckled in return. "I'm me, Fox, no more, no less. To
expect anything else would be foolhardy and unrealistic. But
you already know that, don't you?"

"I've tried to convince a few people of that myself," I
admitted. "It's not the easiest thing for me to do. So many
people expect so much of me. You on the other hand, I have
an idea that most people see you as one-dimensional."

Glancing down at his paws, he flexed his fingers. I expected
to see claws unsheathe, but was surprised when I didn't.
Maybe his species didn't have them, it wasn't unprecedented.
Just because he looks like a tiger, doesn't mean the
resemblance went any further than that.

"I appear to have at all three dimensions at present," he
commented, trying to keep a straight face as he spoke, but
failing in the end.

"Oh hey, that's good, did you hurt yourself?" I asked with a
chuckle.

He twitched his ears, but didn't say anything at all. Always
silent was he, well, mostly silent now. He was starting to
become a friend, which I found a bit surprising. I think he
must have found it surprising as well, who was to say.

He fell back a pace or two behind me, back on guard. Maybe
we would talk again later, maybe not. I suspected the former
would be the more likely scenario.

Into the living room I went. Oria was lying on the couch,
one paw behind her head, the other was draped over her
belly. She was staring up at the ceiling, humming slightly.

"Everyone asleep?" I asked, switching into Ral'lari, Oria's
language as I glanced towards the baby monitor.

She gave me a wry smile. "Full and to bed," she answered,
stretching out her arms. "Feeding is more of a strain with
twins," she told me, rubbing her chest slightly. "They both
want to be feed at once, and fuss until they're full. I like
it better when you're helping."

I smiled. "I think I can talk Rhea into letting me have the
body for the full course next time. I could pitch in then,
if that's all right with you."

Sitting up on the couch, she swung her legs onto the floor.
"If you could. I do love the experience, but the pair of
them are just so demanding," she said with an almost faked
sigh. "I've grown out of my nursing bra I used with Beca."

I sat down next to her, arm draped over her shoulder. "Don't
think I haven't noticed," I said, pulling her close to me,
nuzzling her cheek.

She nuzzled back, her whiskers tickling my nose. "You won't
think it's so funny when it happens to you."

"I only have to deal with it part time, which if you could
remedy, you would. Right?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Naturally, I want you to know exactly how this feels. In
relation to that, your accent is getting better," she
reached behind my neck, and flicked my pig-tail. "I'm sure
that I'm going to win our bet."

I laughed, rubbing her shoulder gently, "We still have time
to see. To be honest though, I'm starting to think you will
as well."

She gave me a smirk. "Looking forward to being pregnant
then?"

I hemmed and hawed for a few seconds. "Well, I'm not sure
about looking forward to it, but I won't raise any
objections if you do win. That means that you're going to
have to be a man for the job. Which also means, while I'm
the lady of the house, you're going to have to stay the
man."

She snickered, rolling her eyes, and gently squeezing the
back of my neck. "If I can find someone to change me safely
for that long, I think I can manage that. But we have a long
time before you're going to have to cash in."

I kissed her softly. "I'm sure we can arrange it, just wait
until things are settled down."

She pulled herself around, settling on my lap, arms around
my neck. I wrapped mine around her back, my fingers playing
with the base of her tail. "I can understand that," she
kissed me. "Don't worry, when we have more kids, I'll try
and plan it better." She kissed me again.

I made this one last longer, "You'll try and plan it
better?" I asked, breaking it away, "Don't I get a say in
when I'm going to get pregnant?" I laughed at that, it was
just so absurd, but it made perfect sense right then.

Oria kissed me again to stop my laughing. I tickled the base
of her tail as we kissed, this one was much longer, and
deeper than before. Finally we finished it off, pulling away
from each other slowly, both of us smiling.

"What was the message you got?" she finally asked, changing
the topic.

"Nothing important yet." It wasn't really a lie; it wasn't
going to be important for a few weeks, but I wanted it to be
a surprise for everyone, even Oria.

"I see," she said with a smile. "Will you tell me when it is
important?"

I kissed her nose-pad, "Of course. You'll find out, don't
worry."

She nodded, sliding out of my lap. "This isn't important
either," she said, handing me an envelope. "It's another
congratulation card, but it's not in Prid Standard. Think
you can read it?"

I shrugged, taking it from her fingers. "I can try," I told
her, glancing at the envelope. This was just one of the
hundreds of these cards and letters we've gotten. Being
something of a public figure, people from all over were
sending them.

The address was in Prid Standard, but nothing else was.
Looking over the return address I was surprised to see that
it had come from Spokane! At first I thought it was from
Brian, but then I read the rest of the return address.

There was no name on it, but I knew the address by heart. It
was Becky's address, where she had lived before she had gone
to England.

I pulled the card out, finding that my hands were shaking.
Oria saw it, placing a paw on my shoulder. "What is it?" she
asked. "Who is it from?"

I flipped the card open, ignoring the actual text of it,
instead looking at the handwritten message inside. It was
unmistakably Becky's handwriting.

"Fox?" Oria asked, suddenly concerned. "What does it say?"

I glanced at her, not sure I could explain, instead I just
read her the card.

    Congratulations on the birth of your children. I wish I
    could be there to join you for it, but that could not
    be. This life may not be perfect, or what we wished for,
    but it is what we have.

    To who we are, and used to be.

    Becky

"It's from Becky?" she said with a mix of wonder, surprise,
and amazement. "She really is alive!"

I nodded. "I worked that out a few weeks ago," I told her,
setting the card on the table, face down. "She couldn't go
back to Earth, she wouldn't have been able to survive. I'm
more sure than ever she is the Pantheress I saw. She's
working for the Neverending, and I think it saved her life."

Oria wrapped her arm around my back, pulling me close to
her. "This is a good day then, isn't it? Becky is alive! You
must be thrilled." She didn't look that happy herself.

I petted her cheek. "Don't worry, nothing is going to take
me away from you. If she and I were ever destined to be a
couple, it's too late for her to cash in. I have you now,
and I won't trade you for anyone else."

She purred softly, nuzzling my fingers. "I'm not worried
about losing, you silly. It's just a shock to me. She was
such a close friend to you, and her death affected you so
much. Now you have proof that she didn't really die. It just
takes time to comprehend the implications of that."

I nodded, draping my arm over her shoulder. Saying nothing.

"Should we try to find her?" Oria asked, her voice softer
than before.

"I don't think so," I answered with a shake of my head.
"She'll come to us when it's time. We just need to wait."

She nodded, sighing softly. "We're good at waiting," she
said half in thought.

I held her close, petting the fur on her neck. "Yes, we
are," I replied.

-----

This story is (c) 1999 by Fox Cutter, hardcopy reprints
limited to one per person, all other rights reserved. This
story may not be distributed for a fee except by permission
of the author, and this copyright notice may not be removed.