Standing on the Edge of Forever

                            By:

                         Fox Cutter

12/13/97:

"I have it Fox," Page said, walking through the front door
of the house. Fox looked up from where he was slumped down
in the couch, a slightly smile playing over his lips before
he fell back into the funk he had been in all day.

Standing, he walked over to Page. "Please?" He asked,
holding out his hands.

Page unslung something from her shoulder and passed it to
Fox. It was a bundled up in cloth, the only part of the
object showing was a leather strap.

Fox nodded, slinging it over his shoulder. "Thank you."

"What's going on?" I asked, walking down the stairs and into
the main room.

Fox looked at me, then back to Page. "I have to take care of
something for now." He paused, looking back at me for a few
seconds. "You both can come if you like."

"Yes," Page said, "I'm curious about what you plan to do
with that." I assumed that she was referring to what ever
the bundle was.

I walked over to Page, "I want to know what's going on."

He smiled just slightly and adjusted his glasses. "Come with
me then Oria, you can watch." He turned and started out the
door. I fell into step behind him, Page still at my side.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked her as we walked.

She shook her head, "I really want to know."

Fox stopped at a fold, opening it with a seconds
concentration. Quietly he stepped through the portal, even
his foot steps silent. Both of us followed him to the other
side.

The other side was nothing short of spectacular. It was
perfectly green as far as the eye could see, a tremendous
grassland dotted with the occasional tree, even up the
mountains in the distance. It was very deathly quite, the
only sounds came from the three of us. I also discovered,
after trying to take a step, that the gravity was much
lighter here.

I followed Fox at a semi-hop, Page was moving very light on
her feet, walking very gracefully accost the slightly damp
grass. After about a hundred feet he stopped in front of a
tree. Tree is an understatement, the base of it was at most
forty feet accost. Its trunk grew into the sky to a nearly
unimaginable height casting shade from the sun low in the
sky over miles of land.

Near the base, I could see there was a small gold plague.
Much was engraved on it, but what was clearest of all were
the words 'Rebecca Jennifer Sanders' Becky's real name.

Fox patted the trunk of the tree lightly with his hand, then
turned to face us. "Welcome to Solitude," he said, his voice
almost a whisper.

Page bowed her head slightly, I just nodded.

Unslinging the bundle, Fox began to unwrap it. "I found this
world, this empty world, the second time I ever used the
Folds. The only other person I've brought here was Becky."

He sighed, and finished uncovering what turned out to be a
sword in a leather scabbard. Gently he removed the blade,
sliding it carefully from it's place of rest. Nearly three
feet long it glowed softly in the heavy light of the star.
He swung it in his hand, his width cutting through the air
with a slight whistle.

He stopped the sword, holding it out in front of him. The
weight of it seeming to be nothing to him. "There are some
things we can never lose." He said, once again his almost a
whisper.

Then, in a single move, he brought it up against his
shoulder and spun on his heal. Cleaving the sword down it
crashed into the tree shaking it's mass from the impact.
Stepping back Fox slowly pulled it away, leaving a gash
nearly two feet long on the side of the trunk.

Bending down he cleaned the sword on the grass, then
returned it to the scabbard. "You can go now," he told us as
he slung it over his shoulder and onto his back.

"What just happened?" I asked Page as Fox walked past us,
heading for the fold.

She looked back over her shoulder as he started following
him. "It's been a year sense he lost his world."

I looked back at the tree. "He's using it to mark time."

She nodded, "ever year I would gather."

Fox stopped in front of the fold, opening it without so much
as a gesture. "Go now, I will come back in my own time."

Both of us stepped back through to Prid, the fold closing
behind us.

I stared at the place where the fold was. "I don't like
leaving him alone on that world."

Page placed her paw on my shoulder. "He will be fine, he
just needs to be alone with his pain."

I sighed. "I know..." I started to say, not sure how to
finishes it.

"He understands that, but this is his way. He has to suffer
his pain."

"I should be with him."

Page gripped my shoulder. "No... have you ever watched him.
Ever seem him talk about any of what he's done. About the
Hammerheads, or anything at all."

"He doesn't like to."

She nodded, "it's not that his modest about it. It's because
he hates himself. He always has. He doesn't care about what
he's done. He just counts it as being done and that's that."

I frowned, that some how made sense. So much more about him
made sense with just that one fact.

Page sighed. "Also, maybe you should tell him about your
problem."

I suddenly felt like I had been punched in the gut. "What?"

She nodded, dropping her paw from my shoulder. "You know
what. Tell him Oriana, before it ends up hurting both of
you."

I laid my ears flat against my hair. "How do you know about
that?" Only a handful of people knew about what was wrong
with me. I wanted to keep it that way.

She sighed again. "When you were certified, a copy of your
medical records from your world came with you."

Turing my back to her, I started to walk away. I didn't want
to hear any more about this. I had enough problems just
dealing with it myself.

"One last thing Oriana," Page called after me. I didn't
respond, there was nothing she could say that would make me
want to talk to her again--

"Fox loves you."

--except that. I stopped in mid-stride and slowly turned to
face her. I didn't say anything, there was nothing I could
say.

Page looked back at me, looking at me feet and not my face.
"He may not even know it himself," she continued, "but I
think he does."

I sighed, crossing my arms. "You think?"

She nodded. "I think he loves you. I think he loves you
enough that he won't even let himself know that he loves
you."

I rolled my eyes, "that's ridicules."

"No, think about it," she said, walking closer to me.
"You're both deeply in love with each other. Now what? It's
not as if you can do anything about it. Fox knows that, and
he may love you enough to hide it from himself so he won't
hurt you because of it."

A wave of depression washed over me. "I could change him
again," I whispered in a feeble protest of the truth.

"How? You're last spell is still in his system and it's not
coming out any time soon. You can't change him again."

She was right, we both knew it. Even if she was wrong about
Fox loving me, she was right about this. I felt one last
spark of hope die inside of me. Turning again, I started to
walk away, my tail tip dragging on the floor behind me.

Fox was not mine to have... even if he did love me. I wasn't
going to change how I felt. I could find some way to change
him into a lion, but that would have to permanent for it to
work.

It would mean that Fox would truly lose his world.

Mentally I packed up my love for him and buried it very
deeply in the back of my soul. There truly was no way it
could be anymore. Fox wasn't going to change, I wasn't going
to change.

Instead of going back to the house, I went back to my world.
I needed to talk to someone, and I wasn't going to find them
on Prid.

-----

This story is (c) 1997 by Fox Cutter, hardcopy reprints
limited to one a person, all other rights reserved. This
story may not be distributed for a fee except by permission
of the author, and this copyright notice may not be removed.