White Bread and Brown

                            By:

                         Fox Cutter

5/31/1999:

"Fox, you are going to be late!" Oriana said from the door
way, I could hear how annoyed she was just by the tone of
her voice.

"It's not like I have an appointment," I offhandedly
answered.  Sitting at my desk with my elbow on the table and
my chin resting on its palm, I turned the page of the book I
was reading.

"No," she countered, drawing the word out, "but you did
promise to go today, and Kalie is waiting for you. She
doesn't want to go without one of us."

I nodded as I flipped to the next page, and then winced
slightly at the picture. I quickly turned past it as I
replied, "I know that, and I would rather that you go. It is
your church."

She sighed. "You know I have to work on some things here,
and I need to take care of Adric. Anyway, you told me that
you would go and talk to them about what happened to you."

"Yes, I did," I reluctantly admitted in a flat tone, still
not looking up at her.

"And you don't want to go," she continued, sighing again. "I
guess I can understand that. I know your feelings about
religion in general. You don't have to go to pray, just go
to talk to someone about what happened."

I finally looked up at my wife as she stood in the doorway,
her arms crossed over her chest, and her long skirt shifting
around her legs, hiding all but the tips of her toes under
the hem. "I'm not sure I can talk about what Grasion did. I
mean, if I can't tell you, I'm really not sure I can tell a
total stranger."

She nodded slightly, taking a short step forward into my
office. "I understand that. You don't have to tell them what
happened right away, just... Try, if you can."

I sighed, closing the book, and sliding it away from me.
"'Try' being the operative word. I can try."

A small smile sneaked over her muzzle. "Remember, the High
Priest is a friend of mine. If it would help, you can talk
to him."

I nodded, "Perhaps. We'll have to see when I get there."

Her smile grew wider, as she fully entered the room, walking
over to my desk. Placing one paw on the desktop, she leaned
forward and touched a finger between my eyes. "Thanks, Hon."

I smiled back and ran my fingers up her arm, tickling my
claw tips along her fur.

She laughed, and pulled her arm away. "What are you reading
that you find so fascinating?" she asked, taking the book
from my desk and looking over the plain brown cover. "What
kind of book is this?"

"A criminal text on the various ways people can be killed
with magic. Some of it's rather disgusting, and a few just
very bizarre."

She blanched slightly, as she returned the book to my desk,
unopened. "Trying to find out how Cain died?"

I nodded. "Yes. Elena gave me some suggestions when we met,
but nothing has panned out. There are still a few of hir
ideas I have yet to track down, but they are kind of..." I
paused, searching for the right word. When that failed I
chose something relevant; "eccentric."

With that said, I stood up and walked around the desk to
take her in my arms for an all too short kiss.

She quite happily kissed me back, before slowly breaking
away. "So, are you ready to go, Hon?"

I smiled, nuzzling her cheek gently. "As ready as I'll ever
be," I answered her.

She pulled away, and smiled again, flicking her ears. "Good,
then. Kalie is waiting for you in the fold room. Don't keep
her there for too much longer."

I nodded, and ran my fingers through her hair. "I'll be back
soon, my love."

"I know," she replied with a smile. "Now get going before
you're late." She swatted my ass gently. "Now go!"

I laughed. "Yes ma'am!" and skittered out of the room.

I first took a short side trip to the kitchen to snag a bite
to eat on the way, and also into the living-room so I could
grab my jacket.

All in all, it was five minutes later when I met Kalie in
the fold room. She was waiting, a bit impatiently, on the
small couch in the room. As I entered, she gave me a bit of
a stern glance.

"Sorry about taking so long," I said, walking over to the
shelves on the back wall and grabbing the lock box that
rested there. "I was catching up on some research," I
explained, as I punched in the code on the box's keypad.

"Well, as long as it was with a reason. Now, is silent but
deadly over there coming along with us?"

I smiled to myself, opening the lid of the box and pulling
out a pair of Matrix chips. "No, Ravindar is going to stay
here," I replied, closing the lid, pressing down on it until
I felt it lock once more. Picking up a chip controller, I
popped it open and put a chip inside as I turned around.
"Here you go," I said, offering it to her.

She took it from me, slipping the watch-like device around
her wrist as I opened my own watch, and placed the chip
inside.

"You can guess the form we need," I said to her as I snapped
it closed, and turned the device on.

She nodded, fiddling with it for a second, before giving the
system the voice commands. As I was not currently in the
mood to spend a few days female, I did the same. After a few
moments and some bright flashes, we looked like a pair of
lion morphs.

"All set?" I asked her with a smile.

She nodded, adjusting her clothing, which was reflected in
the illusion around her.

I opened the fold, and we both stepped through onto the
surface of Hr'raal, Oriana's world.

One taxi ride later, we approached the entrance of the
temple. To be specific one of the Ten Grand Temple's of
Thryn. It was large and flowing, with lots of marble and
stained glass windows. As we stood inside the doorway at the
start of a long, and grand hall, it all shown brightly in
the noonday sun.

Frankly I wasn't that impressed; I had seen far grander
temples than this in many other places. The Gestalt on
Kijra, The Grand Orthodoxy on Siedrex, the Mormon Temple
back in Spokane.

Kalie, on the other hand was standing there slightly stunned
and blocking the door.

"You all right?" I asked, pulling her out of the way of
anyone trying to come inside.

"I'm just surprised is all," she answered. "The churches
back home are all so bleak and sterile. This place feels
like it's alive."

I nodded, taking her paw as we started down the hallway. "I
can understand, I think. I don't spend much time in churches
being reverent. Usually there's something else going on,
mostly involving small arms fire."

She laughed softly at this, being much more of an expert on
the subject than I was.

It didn't take long before we were met by a young maneless
male, who looked quite pleased to help us. After a few
minutes of conversation, Kalie went off with him to find
someone to talk to.

I wished her well, and settled down in one of the pews that
filled the main room. Pulling a copy of "Lord or the Rings"
from my jacket pocket, I returned to where I had left off,
in the middle of the battle for Helm's Deep.

I had only gotten a few pages read when someone sat down
beside me. This was annoying, to say the least, as there
were only maybe ten people in the room at the moment, and
there was room for a few hundred.

Turning to look at the offending person, I was slightly
surprised to find Etartic, the High Priest, sitting next to
me, a concerned look on her face.

Well, I only say her, because, well, that robe she wore
didn't do much at all to hide her figure, let alone the fact
that she was significantly large up top. On the other hand,
she had been born a he, and still was completely male as
well, at least where it counted.

The High Priests had this thing about emulating their god
physically. Which meant becoming a she-male, just like he
was.

Mind you, I wasn't complaining about it, not one bit.

"Fox?" she asked, looking a bit closer at me.

I nodded, smiling back at her. "Yep, it's me."

"Is this another body of yours?" she asked, reaching up to
touch the side of my face.

"No, it's an illusion this time, just the same as the first
time we met."

"Yes, I remember that. Though I do not think it would be a
bad thing if it was."

I chuckled. "I don't think any of us would mind very much.
Still, what brings you to me?"

She crossed her arms under her ample chest. "I pose the
question to you, as you are the one who came here."

I chuckled softly, marking my place in the book and
returning it to my pocket. "Well yes, but I came escorting
my friend, Kalie. She's in right now, talking to somebody."

"Oh," she smiled just a bit. "And you have nothing to talk
about?"

I shook my head, talking my glasses off to clean them. "No,
nothing at the moment. I have things I could talk about, but
I'm not ready to do that, and if I was, I wouldn't do it
here."

A look of exaggerated shock went over her face. "Wouldn't do
it here? Why, is there something wrong with my Temple?"

"Mostly the Temple part," I answered honestly as I replaced
my glasses, still the old pair.

She slowly nodded, bringing up a paw to cup under her chin.
"Yes, Oriana did mention you weren't too fond of the place."

"Don't get me wrong," I responded, "there are things I will
come here to do, mostly involving the children. It's just
not a place where I would feel comfortable talking about
certain things."

"Like the things Oriana thinks you should talk about?" she
prompted.

I nodded. "Yes, those things. How much did she tell you?"

"Not as much as you might suspect. Just that something
happened to you that was pretty bad, and that she hoped you
would talk to us about it in some fashion."

I sighed. "I had pretty much forced myself to forget about
it till it came up," I said, spreading my arms out along the
back of the pew, then rolling my head around until I was
staring up at the ceiling.

"I was quite happy to have forgotten about it," I continued,
not really focusing on anything I saw above me. "It you
really try, it's very easy to block out your own memories.
You just kind of force yourself to slide off of them when
you try to think about them. After a while it becomes a
habit, and the memory just disappears like smoke."

"Smoke can still hurt you, if there is enough of it," she
replied.

I chuckled. "That's very true, and everything you hide will
always come back to bite you in the ass. Though in this case
that hasn't happened yet. Hell, there's only two, no, with
Rhea now it's three people in the multi-verse who know
exactly what happened. For now I would like to keep it that
way."

"I understand," Etartic said, "it's obviously something
that's very painful for you."

I let out a long sigh. "That's an understatement. I was glad
to forget it, to shove it away. Pretty soon after it
happened I fell into Ken's arms, and, well... That helped a
lot, even if he did have his own motives at the time. I
would have been happy to let it stay forgotten, but, Oria
had to know why I couldn't deal with Grasion."

My companion was silent once I finished speaking, and stayed
that way for a few minutes. Finally I lifted my head and
looked at her. She had her head bowed, her eyes partly
closed and appeared to be deep in thought.

"You feel you have a handle on this," she finally said,
turning her eyes to look at me, her ears flicking slowly.
"But not as much as you think you should."

"Something like that," I said with a bit of smile.

"You're also afraid that if you told Oriana, that she
couldn't deal with it," she continued, lifting her head up,
and turning to face me.

I shook my head. "Not as such, no."

"But you are afraid," she responded.

I let a small smile play over my lips. "Afraid, yes, in ways
most people can't understand. It's a wound that I thought
had healed, and has now reopened. I have to do something to
deal with it because no one else will."

"You can talk to me," she said, moving to place a paw on my
shoulder. I shrugged away from it, and she pull away,
understanding that I wasn't going to allow her to touch me.

I stood up. "I don't think so, not really."

She looked both surprised and hurt. "Why?"

"I don't know you well enough to trust you," I answered her
honestly, "and I doubt I ever will."

She frowned, flicking her ears a bit. "Why do you say that?"

I sighed. "Everyone has prejudices, you just happen to be on
the wrong side of mine."

She pressed her lips together into a tight line, as she
lowered her eyes, her ears pressing down into her hair.

"I'm going to wait outside until Kalie is finished," I said,
as I turned and walked away.

As I walk between the pews, I heard Etartic call after me,
"I will pray for you, Fox."

I stopped for a moment, taking in a few short breaths,
before I replied. "Go ahead, no one that I care about will
be listening," and continued out the door.

* * *

"So, how did things go?" I asked Kalie as we walked away
from the Taxi, heading towards the fold. It was the first
thing either of us had said since we left the temple. I had
spent most of the time thinking about what had happened.

"We talked," she answered, "about various things. I told
them about my life, not in any great detail, but we talked."

"Well, talking is a good first step," I said as we entered
the alley that the fold resided in.

"It was, it really was," she answered, standing to my side
as I reached out and opened the fold back home.

I had motioned for her to go ahead of me, when something
caught my eye. Stepping to the side I looked past the fold
and further down the alley. Just in time to see a flicker of
white turning around the corner.

"You go on ahead," I told my friend. "There's something else
I need to do here before I head back home."

"Oh?" she asked, turning back to me, looking a bit
surprised. "This is the first you've mentioned it."

I gave her my best smile. "I just remembered it. Don't
worry, it shouldn't take very long."

"Well, maybe I should come along," she suggested, talking a
step away from the fold.

"No, no," I protested with a wider smile, "You just get
going, and I'll be back soon. Trust me."

She laughed softly. "Is this something I shouldn't tell
Oriana about?" she asked me with a coy smile.

"Something like that," I answered.

"I see," she said with another laugh. "Well then, I'll see
you back at the house." Then flashing me a smile, she
stepped through the fold.

I let it snap closed once she was safely on the other side,
and then started down the alley at a quick trot. I wasn't
sure what I had seen, or rather what I thought I had seen,
but I had to be sure.

Turning around the corner to another alley, I both looked
and listened. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear
something from down the way.

I moved down the space between the buildings, slowly picking
up my pace. At an intersection with another alley, I caught
another flash of light near the end.

Moving faster, I followed the length of this one, surprised
at the apparent maze they formed behind all these buildings,
but it was an older area of town. Some of the buildings were
over a century old, or so Oria had told me, and not really
laid out in any plan.

Turning another corner, I finally saw her, trotting down the
alleyway, and looking quite content with herself.

It was the unicorn.

"So, you've been spying on me," I said as I walked towards
her.

She came to a sudden stop, turning her head slowly around to
look at me, the long spire of her horn catching the midday
sun that filtered down between the buildings. A look of
panic passed over her equine features for a moment, before
she bolted.

I followed in chase, pushing myself to full speed as I ran
after her. I had an advantage of sorts; the alleys were full
of boxes and dumpsters and other things that she had to
dodge and jump around. It kept her from going at full speed,
but she was still faster than me.

When she turned a corner, I was only a handful of seconds
behind her and she was pulling away from me. The sound of
her hooves striking the cracked and muddy pavement echoed
throughout the long stone corridors.

She turned again, and once more I followed, through a
second, and a third turn. Eventually I came to a point where
as I turned into one alleyway, she had already ducked down
another one, and I couldn't tell where she had gone.

I slowed down for a moment, panting softly, as I looked down
each of the intersecting paths as I crossed them. We had
been going in circles so far, moving between and around the
same block of buildings. Though strangely she was keeping
away from the fold.

I could still hear her hooves, echoing back and forth around
the alleys, and once more moving closer to me.

Stopping, I listen closely to the sound, feeling some of my
lioness instincts coming into play. This was a hunt all
right, and I wasn't going to catch her by simply out running
her, she was just faster than me.

On the other hand, she didn't seem to notice that I was no
longer following her. I could hear her moving around me,
getting slowly closer as she continued to sprint around the
buildings.

I listened closely to the sound of her running, paying
attention to how it echoed in the alley I was in. Spinning
around, I looked back at an intersection of two alleyways.
It went three ways, she was going to have to turn when she
came to it, and I was pretty sure that was going to happen
at any moment.

Bracing myself against the ground, I counted the beating of
my heart as I heard the hoofs beats grow closer. She was
slowing down a bit. I guess she was starting to understand
that I was no longer behind her.

Too bad she didn't know I was in front of her.

Moments later my instincts screamed for me to start running.
I dug my feet into the ground and pushed off hard, running
fast, and strangely silent in my bare feet, as she came into
the alley, I pounced her, my hands forward and spread wide,
just like the lion I was.

I crashed against her body hard, smashing against her head
and neck. As I wrapped my arms around her to try to hold on,
my fingers brushed against her horn.

The rush of pain that streaked like lightening over my body
was exquisite in its agony as suddenly I found myself flying
through the air. I crashed to the ground in the alley
rolling head over heels before smacking against a wall.

Half dazed I just lay there, stunned, breathing slowly.
Everything hurt, like every inch of my body had been shocked
at once, but it wasn't a hurt like pain, it was deeper,
under my skin.

I heard the sound of the unicorn coming closer. Forcing my
eyes open, I found myself looking right at a pair of cloven
hooves. Above me, I could hear a voice echo, more in my mind
than my ears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you weren't suppose
to get hurt," she sounded almost pleading.

I blinked a few times, and looked up at her. She had her
head turned to the side, her eyes screwed shut. It almost
looked like she was crying.

Shaking my head, I rolled to the side, and managed to get my
feet under me. I was dizzy, my head spinning and my ears
ringing. Rubbing the side of my head I slowly lifted myself
up to my feet.

She must of heard something, as she turned back to look at
me, her deep blue eyes opening wide in shock. "Oh no, that's
impossible. That's not supposed to be able to happen."

I shook my head again, most of my equilibrium slowly coming
back to me. It was then I noticed that I was back to human
again, the Matrix chip having shut down. Looking at the
controller it was easy to see why, it had almost melted.
Strangely, it didn't feel hot, or even hurt my skin.

The unicorn took a short step back, shaking her head. "This
isn't right," she said in almost a whimper. "That's not what
should happen."

"And what should happen?" I asked with a slight growl, the
ringing in my ears starting to fade away.

She started at me for a moment, taking another step back, a
look of panic in her eyes. "Oh shit," she said, her voice
echoing in my mind like bells, strangely out of place with
her choice of words. Then she managed to turn almost
magically, and was off and running once more.

I followed after her, limping slightly for the first few
yards before I regained my footing and was moving at full
speed. A full speed that seemed to be faster then it had
previously been.

This time she didn't bother to try and avoid me by turning
down the alleys, she just ran as hard as she could, right
out into the street.

I watched as she dashed past some surprised pedestrians, and
through traffic to the other side of the road, cutting
diagonally to meet another alley.

Running after her at full tilt, I pushed passed a group of
people who had stopped to watch, this world having nothing
akin to horses or unicorns.

Traffic having stopped for her, I ran through it easily,
running hard into the alley, still hot on her trail.

She glanced back at me, the look of panic growing in her
eyes, as she seemed to push herself faster, turning as the
alley came to an end.

I followed around the turn, at such a speed that I almost
hit the door at the end of the alley. Still, I keep running,
pushing myself faster than before to try and catch up with
her.

She tried another turn, moving at full speed, and she
failed. One of her legs smashed into the wall, sending her
tumbling to the ground, ending the chase, and most likely
hurting herself in the process.

I ran to her, falling to her side as she lay on the dirty
asphalt, a stunned and dazed look on her face.

"Are you all right?" I asked, panting for breath, looking at
her leg. There was some discoloration on her fur, dirt and
grime from the wall, but nothing that looked bad.

"I'm fine," she answered, her mental voice sounded like she
was gasping for breath.

"Nothing broken?" I asked, reaching down to touch her leg,
expecting her to pull away. Instead she allowed it, and I
felt slowly along the length. Everything felt intact, but
that just meant there wasn't a major break.

"I'm fine," she said again, "I just," she paused, lifting
her head slowly. "That's the second time you've managed to
run down a unicorn."

I chuckled. "Rhea did it the first time," I told her,
probing gently, trying to feel if there was any swelling,
"and I think you allowed her to do that."

She snorted softly, shaking her mane. "I hardly 'let' her,"
she responded, sounding indignant. "Though I will admit, I
wasn't trying to shake her either."

"That's good then," I said, pulling my hands away. "Nothing
seems broken, but you had better move soon, a lot of people
saw us, and someone is sure to come looking to see what's
going on."

"Yes," came her slow reply, "You may be right." She then
began to maneuver herself around, getting her legs back
under her so she could rise to all fours.

"I have a question for you," I said, rising to my own feet
to stay out of her way for the time being. "What is the
Neverending, and what does it want with me?"

"I can't tell you that," she answered, "It would be
cheating."

"That is no answer," I snapped back.

She laughed, a sound that rang like chimes over my mind. A
pleasant, lovely sound, which I felt I could listen to for
hours. "A thought of life," she finally answered me.

"That's even less of an answer," I protested, letting out a
slight sigh.

"You will find out," she said, taking a few short steps,
seemingly judging the fitness of her leg. "Like many things,
it will come in its own good time."

I snorted, "I'm rather tired of waiting."

"Too bad," she answered, flicking her tail at me. "You don't
have much of a choice." And with that said, she was off and
running again.

I swore and started after her, but I only took a few steps
before I felt a wave of pain running up my legs as both
seemed to cramp at the same time.

With a growl, I stopped, holding myself against the wall as
it felt like my legs were going to give out on me. Resting
one shoulder against the stone I let out a short sigh I
wasn't going to be doing any more running for the time
being.

And I didn't even get a chance to ask her about Becky.

-----

This story is copyright 2002 by Fox Cutter, hardcopy
reprints limited to one per person, all other rights
reserved. This story may not be distributed for a fee except
by permission of the author, and this copyright notice may
not be removed.