“Uncle Zaz will be here soon…” My head was so drowned in sorrow that I barely heard Star’s voice. She was still wearing her nightie and I was still in my shorts in the living room. “I’m just going upstairs to get some clothes on…” Her voice was low and sad, she walked slowly out of the room. I went to the kitchen. Through the windows I saw snow falling heavily, covering up the layer of dead leaves… A serrated knife lay on the counter, and I picked it up… Saw how the cold steel shone, the thin, sharp edge almost singing. I held out my other arm and gently lay the blade upon my wrist. The shadows grew, crawled up my naked body and gently whispered in my ear: “Join her…”
“What are you doing?” Startled by Star’s voice, I drop the knife and quickly turn around. “N-nothing…” I quickly replied as I saw the knife almost tipping off the counter. Star suddenly put on a shocked face. “You were gonna kill yourself!” She took some quick steps closer to me and grabbed my arm and held it up. A fresh spot of blood stained the fur on my wrist, and a little drop had hit the floor. Star brushed aside the bloody fur to see the cut better. “Only cut your skin…” Star’s white fingers were now red. She licked the blood of her fingers and looked me in the eyes. “Why do you do this?” A tear was building in the corner of her eye. I had no answer to that question and averted my eyes in shame. Star took the knife and stuffed it in a drawer. “I’ll go get you some clothes. Go to the living room and stay put,” It wasn’t before then I noticed she was wearing tight, worn-down jeans and a black top. She put her long, black hair in a ponytail while she walked to my room.
I licked my wound in the living room. The blood had a pleasant taste, much like I could remember it… Star dropped a pile of clothes next to me on the sofa. “She looks so happy…” She quickly wiped her eye. I got on my feet and put on the black set of clothes. I nodded while I buckled the belt on my big black pants. Star suddenly ran upstairs. I continued putting on the t-shirt and sweater. She hands me a black bracelet with spikes. “Put this on…” My cut was now covered.
Star sat me down with her, had her arm around my neck, probably to keep me safe from myself… She talked to me about what I had missed while I stayed at the compound. Kitty had been acting weird, though it wasn’t so very new to me. “… and I met this guy at school the other day… or rather he came and asked me out,” “Oh? What’s his name?” I tried to sound interested, and lay Zil behind me. “Lobo… I think… But anyway he’s just so cute! Come to think about it… He’ll come round here soon to take me to some “all day, all night”-party, but I think I’ll stay here with you instead…” “Thanks,” I said and smiled. “Us twins should stick together…” She pats my shoulder and smiles too. “That’s called “siamese twins”, Star… You know damn well we ain’t that close!” We both laughed, and for a brief moment there was no pain in my heart…
Zaz and Nick came to pick up Zil’s body… They put her in a black body-bag and carried her to Nick’s APC. Nick said she was going to the morgue until she was going under the soil. “It’s always the pretty ones who die early,” Nick said and shook his head while talking to me in the doorway. “Stay strong, Joon. And you will find happiness eventually… I know I did,” Nick said with a smile and a tear, then he left. Zaz looked at me with his one eye, and lay a hand on my shoulder. “Should I get Eve to “baby-sit” you or can I trust that you won’t pull off any stunts?” Star suddenly stood beside me. “I’ll take care of him, uncle Zaz. Maybe I’ll call over some back-up as well…” She smiled. “Take care then… I’ve got some bad apples to pick,” Zaz pats our shoulders and heads back to his APC. Star closed the door and said: “Home alone…”
“Beta Storm’s phone. What can I help you with?” Mom answered dad’s phone. “Hi, it’s Fredrik…” “Finally… I was getting tired taking all these messages from all those lying scumbags… Heard from the humans you finally got back together with Zil. So how is she?” I drew a deep breath. “She’s dead…” My throat was clogging up. There was a gasp on the other end. “Oh my god… H-how?” “I don’t know… I just woke up and found her dead in my arms…” I wiped my eyes and nose. “I’m coming home as soon as possible…” “No, you don’t have to do that…” “Are you sure? You sound terrible…” I looked out at the snowy weather and sighed. “I don’t feel too good either, but I just need some time alone…” “I understand, honey… But if you plan on suicide, remember that I’ll be next in line, okay?” If that was a joke, it at least put a smile on my face. “Okay… Bye…” “Take care now…”
Star and I spent most of the day in front of the TV, talked a bit about how things were while we were separated. She was used to being home alone, as dad often had to go to some priority meetings and such… But then she usually asked the girls to sleep over so that she wasn’t entirely alone. “..but you know… Ever since you’ve been around, I’ve felt… I dunno… More safe…” She smiled at me from the other end of the sofa. “It’s probably cause I’ve got that sub-machinegun in my room…” Star just snickered and said: “My collection of stuffed animals beats the crap out of that little lug of metal,” The doorbell rang. Star got up and out. “Hey Bobo!” I could hear her say from where I sat. “Lobo…” An unfamiliar voice came by my ear. “Sorry… Please, come in,” “So are you ready for the party?” “Can’t say that I am… Something just happened to my brother…” “You mean that murderer?” “HEY!” I yelled at Lobo and could kinda hear him cursing himself for having said that. “Why don’t I introduce you to Mr. Murder…?” Star asked Lobo, and I tried to think of something to say that might scare him a bit. “You gonna date him, or can I eat him?” “Watch it, or I’ll cash you in,” She replied as she came through the doorway with Lobo short after. Lobo had black hair, blue eyes and almost white fur covered by long black clothes. His eyes dared a look at me from behind Star. “Oh come on! He won’t bite!” Star said to Lobo and pushed him forward. “Hi…” He nervously uttered. “I’m not dangerous,” I said and got up, stretched out my hand “Joon Fredrik Storm, call me Joon,” His grip was loose. “Lobomir Goron, just call me Lobo,” “See? That wasn’t so bad…” Star said in an attempt to encourage him. “I can tell you that I won’t hurt you…” I said while sitting back down “…unless you hurt me or my family,” “Well that’s reassuring…” Lobo said slightly in doubt, then he notices my hands… “Aren’t you that guy on that poster…?” He asked and kind of pointed at me. “Poster?” What was I doing on a poster? “You know… That “Red is the color of love” and that pro-SG-stuff…” “What? When did those come up?” I asked. “Some time last week…” Star said and plopped down beside me. “It’s you and some SG-chick in front of you…” Lobo tapped his chin “Your heads are cut away, but I’ve never seen an MD with black hands before,”
The clockworks in my skull grinded out that it was my dad I had to blame, but I didn’t exactly mind being a part of an anti-racism-campaign…
Star patted the sofa, signaling to Lobo to sit down with her. “I’ll be in my room if you need me,” I said and got up.
I knew almost every TRL-song by heart, and still I listened to their diversity, enjoying every song as if it were the few first times I heard them… Red’s low voice in tragic rock, Bog’s thundering voice together with heavy metal, Trax’ electric voice in his soft techno, Liz’ young, innocent voice, Loke’s… Fuck Loke, he killed Zil! And then there’s of course Foxxy, her soft voice fits anything… The lovesong at the end of my TRL-CD reminded me of Zil… “I’ve given too much, to lose it for this. You’re leaving me, you know who I’ll miss. Before I knew it, you were no longer here. But the memories remain, remember our last kiss…”
My body felt weak and heavy, and all I could think of was Zil’s warm colors gone cold in my bed, in my arms. I knew well it wasn’t my fault, but I still felt guilty. I turned off my stereo and lay down on my bed. There was nothing I wanted to do, nothing at all…
“Fredrik?” Star woke me. I lifted my head. “Lobo’s gone… And I’ve invited the girls over…” I sat up and nodded. “You don’t look too good,” I felt her sitting down next to me. My eyes finally got used to the light. “You’re sad because of Zil, aren’t you?” Star looked down at her hands, fondling her tail. I didn’t answer her, just sat motionless, wanted to cry. “Don’t want to talk about it, huh? Maybe you should try dating Kitty, or Careen… Careen seems to like you a lot… You know… Kinda get over Zil…”
I looked angrily at her. “It was just a suggestion. I dunno what you want or need… You’re so strong and smart, and still you have the soft and cuddly somewhere in there,” Star sighed, making my case sound more hopeless.
“I want to help you, but I don’t know what to do…”
“Caring is enough…” I thought. “What was that?” Star suddenly looks up at me. “I didn’t say anything,” I said and shook my head. “Oh… Maybe I’m just hearing those voices again…” I didn’t want to ask… “Aren’t you hungry? You haven’t eaten all day,” I took a deep breath and sighed: “No,” The doorbell chimed, Star got up. “It’s okay that you remember her… But don’t forget about yourself,” She ran upstairs as the doorbell rang a second time. My eyes started running soon after… I didn’t know why, but it felt wrong to cry when there were others around.
I looked down at my bed. Could almost see her lying there. Her vibrant colors, her undying smile…
“Hi,” Kitty said from the door, catching me in a relatively tender moment. I quickly wiped my eyes and got a grip on myself. “Is it true…? That she-eh…?” I nodded, she approached me with short, slow steps. Kitty sighed and looked down at her chest. “I-I-I feel kinda guilty… For throwing myself at you like I did… It was just wrong of me, I knew you had her, and still…” She chews on her finger nervously, as if waiting for me to say something. “I feel just as stupid…” I said, and she looked down into my moist eyes. “It’s just as much my fault that it happened… I had the chance to back up and say NO, but… I dunno… I think I’m kinda still in love with you too…” I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. From between my fingers I could see that Kitty squatted down in front of me and put a hand on my knee. She wanted to say something, but she just turned around and left.
Again, I was alone. I didn’t want any social contact anyway…
The laughter of four lively girls penetrated the floor. I
wanted to join them, they had already asked me three times to join them, but I
felt as if chained to my room. All I could do was lie on my bed,
occasionally take a sip from a bottle of blood-juice that Star gave me. My eyes
were sore. Clock displayed
Star and her gang were all in their nighties. Long t-shirts dominated, Star wearing a blue with strange animals, Careen a pink with stars, Kitty a green with hearts. Jool wore a torn, black tank-top and sweat-pants, I could almost see her breasts stick out beneath the tank-top. I walked, unnoticed, closer. They laughed and giggled of happenings I knew nothing about. My hand grabs Star’s shoulder. “I’m going to bed…” She looks up at me. “Oh… Okay…” Jool stared at my torso with a concealed grin, I tried to ignore her. Careen got up and gave me a hug. “I feel so sorry for you…” She said with a worried face and stroked my cheek before sitting back down in the sofa, still keeping an eye on me. I could feel that my back was being looked at when I crept back down. I did my usual ritual, taking extra time on brushing my teeth because I kept staring at myself in the mirror. Soon enough, I was out of my pants and in my bed, still wearing the spiked bracelet. The darkness swallowed me, and sent me to dreamland. What I saw there was not what I wanted to see.
After having battled 6 horned SG’s, I crept back to my room, bleeding… Zil still in my bed. The sheets were soaked with blood, and had bullet-holes several places. I found my SMG in my hand, the silencer was taken off. Blood dripped from the smoking barrel… With a trembling hand, I hold the barrel against my head, twitchingly squeezing the trigger harder, and harder…
I woke up in my bed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
“Sure,” I said, thinking of what Zil had just told me. “I’ll be right back,” Kitty’s tail was slightly raised when she turned around. Could it be that I was wrong? That all my devotion to Zil was only a fated detour to end up with Kitty? My heart pounded a bit harder. I was uncertain if it really was Zil’s spirit or just my mind manipulating me, but I didn’t really want to know.
Kitty returned with a pillow and a blanket and settled down on my couch. Her eyes smiled at me as I was about to turn off the light. A warm feeling spread throughout my body.
Brutally I am awakened by Jool pulling my blanket away. “Breakfast-time, rise and shine!” She said, jumped on top of me. “You packing guns, or are you just happy to see me?” Her grin was wide and sinister. The sexy body that was holding me down was strong. “Come on… You can do better than that…” Given a little effort, I easily rolled her onto her back, pinning her down. “Mmm… This position… Naked?” She said tauntingly and wrapped her legs around my waist. “You’d like that, huh?” I chuckled and put my feet on the cold floor. Jool held her hands on my shoulders, tightened the grip with her legs as I got up. “Admit it… You’re enjoying this,” “If it makes you let go of me…” I said with a smile. She touched the floor with her hands, loosened the legs and stood on her hands a few seconds before she elegantly got her feet on the ground. Her tank-top had slipped up, revealing her breasts. She threw her hair back and said: “Whoops…” then covered them again.
It was Saturday, about
Cartoons. Nothing but cartoons. Created by humans ages ago, only to be dug out by M and P and aired all day and all night. Time flew, and I was still the only one who had a presentable set of clothes on. The doorbell rang. Star forced me to go open.
Upon first sight, I didn’t recognize the raven standing before me. “Jonah?” I asked, astonished by how his feathers shined and how the smell of death was removed. He even had clothes, with some fox-like symbols. “Good day, my friend. I heard the news of your loved one’s passing…” I just kind of nodded. Female voices sounded behind me: “Hey! Shut the door! It’s cold!” “Uhm… Come in, must be cold outside,”
Jonah shut the door behind him. “You’ve changed a bit since I first saw you…” I said and scratched my wrist, beneath the spiked bracelet. “Nyes, well… I must admit I am quite happy with the result, even if I would not trust machines on a regular basis. But at least these machines were controlled by kind people, unlike my nemesis,” “Nemesis?” I asked and lead him toward the kitchen. “Yes, a quite nasty one. A half-elven puppeteer, I believe he once was… Legends told he was the greatest dollmaker to live, but then he came across a ring. The ring of eternity… His body lived on, beyond the stopping of his heart. I have slain him two times, and I am uncertain if he still exists…” We got seated in the kitchen. “Wow… Exciting…” I was a bit amazed by what little the mighty raven in dark blue had told. “But… Why don’t you know if he’s dead?” Jonah took a satchel off his shoulder. “Back in my youth, when I was as young as you and still a human, I made certain that he was dead. Or so I thought… Little did I nor my allies know that he possessed the ring. His skills in engineering were unmatched. He crafted an army of stone, metal and flesh,” “Let me guess… This is where you are one of many who have gathered to face this evil… Right?” “Wrong,” Jonah said with some sort of smile. “This is where I face Arkady alone… With only a little help from my childhood friend, Apokasis the half-dragon. Arkady was weak, and did not expect an attack from a single youngster like me… This was the first time though. In death he drew power from its’ essence, became a necromancer with terrible powers,” “What’s a necromancer?” I asked highly intrigued. “A person with the power to control the dead… I know little about necromancers myself, but I still loathe them,” I nodded and watched as he got a few items out of his satchel. He held up a book, a very old book… “This… This is what I managed to snatch before I was sent here, and how I got here is closely related to my second confrontation with Arkady. Would you like to hear?” I got off my seat to get something to drink from the fridge and said: “Of course! Can I offer you anything?” “No, thank you. Dead men do not eat nor drink,” “Oh, right. You’re undead and stuff…” I grabbed a bottle of blood-juice and closed the nearly empty fridge. “Now then… I believe it was only few days after I met your parents and your uncle…” I sat down and opened the bottle. “So, you know my parents… Can’t remember they mentioned you,” “Well… You’re mother was queen for a day in my town of birth… Has she really not told you that?” Jonah asked in a wondering tone. I just shook my head and swallowed a mouthful of red juice. He gently lay the book down on the table. “It is a long, dull tale, but soon after Falcon, Fuchsann and Snowen had come to Hart, my town, Arkady attacked. We couldn’t even dream of stopping him, his army was too great and so were his own powers. He forced upon me this misery…” Jonah held up his hand. A glowing, red ring was on his finger. “Like Arkady, I cannot die a conventional death. And my body has greater potential than before, but still… It is a lonely life… Seeing all you know die before you, without even aging a day…” A silvery fluid ran from the corner of his eye. “Look, man,” I said “You don’t have to tell me this stuff, I mean if it bothers you that much…” Jonah sighed, then smiled. “No… It is good to finally be able to tell my tale to the young. But as said, I got this ring… My power grew, almost drove me insane! Until one day… I stopped trying to run from Arkady, I rather turned around and massacred all his minions along my way… I was not myself, my rage had taken control of me. I did not rest, I did not stop to pray and ask forgiveness from Amalia. I barged into Castle Hart, as Arkady had taken residence there. We fought for hours on end… The blade I have linked to my soul turned ever darker, feeding of my growing hatred and despise for everything around me. Until the final blow… I rammed the blade through him, and he touched me with his charged hands. Everything turned white. The next thing I knew, I was among humans and machines. They confined me, then… I became what I am now,” I thought back to my schooldays: “So… It’s true that Noo’Rahdians are basically human in origin…?” Jonah nodded and looked down at his satchel. He suddenly grasped into it. “I had almost forgot… I was supposed to give you something, from Master and Props,” He put a small orb on the table.
I picked it up, examined it… “What is this?” “I have not the foggiest…” I shook it, then felt it rumbling. Suddenly it turned into a big black thing that lay across the table. We both jumped a bit, then Jonah dared to pick the thing up. “This looks like a coat… Must be the gift I guess…” It was a long coat, black and made of a material I had seen before. “Go on, try it on,” He said and held it out. I got into the coat, then remembered that Jusuf had one quite like this. “Suits you well, my friend. If the lasses did not find you irresistible before, then they will probably swoon by the slightest touch from you…” A sort of grin came across his face. Hard to tell what he was expressing with his beak… But anyway, I just smirked and looked down at myself. I looked pretty cool. Jonah looked down at the book. “I would lend you the book, so that you could… No, what am I saying?!” “What’s with the book? Book on magic or sumthin’?” He picked up the book and opened it. “Magic, yes… But I cannot guarantee the effect, let alone the price of chanting an incantation. He who holds this tome, holds the power to take lives and raise the dead…” “So, technically, I could resurrect Zil?” Jonah nodded and shut the book. The thought was tempting… “Fate intended her death… It is against my faith to tamper with fate. And besides… There are only arcane spells here, all you would have gotten is an undead servant,” “Oh…” I sighed and started considering what it might be like to have Zil follow my every command. It felt wrong as hell… “I was once capable of returning life to the dead… But I have been corrupted by my own anger,” A blue beam erects from his hand. “This blade originally flamed like the sun, but as you see it looks more like a moonbeam now… It was black when I first crawled out in this raven-like form,” I reached out to touch it, but my fingers passed straight through. “It will only harm those I wish to harm,”
I thought back a bit… “You killed a sniper some time ago… One who shot me from a hill…” Jonah nodded, then flipped up a page in the book. “I’ll take my leave now… But I thought I would give you something to remember me by,” He cleared his throat and held his other hand over his ocarina. His voice was not the same when he chanted whatever he read from the book. His ring flared up, and now there were two ocarinas. “This was a gift from the spirits of the forest… Play my tune if you ever need my assistance, or if you just want to listen to my tales,” He stuffed his items back into his satchel. “But… I don’t know how to play this thing…” I said and picked up the silvery ocarina. “Not to worry… You will know how it works the second you touch your lips to it. Farewell,”
Jonah vanished into thin air, only leaving a few black feathers on the floor. I wandered back to the living room, examining the ocarina. Star, Jool, Kitty and Careen hadn’t moved an inch since I left them. They laughed at a silly little thing that got flattened by a big thing. Star actually turned her head my way. “Damn… Where did you get that coat?” All eyes were on me when she asked that. “It’s something from M & P, and this ocarina is a gift from Jonah D’Argyl,” “Jonah-who?” Star quickly asked. I approached slowly and said: “Never mind,” I raised the ocarina, saw how it twinkled in my grasp and gently touched it to my mouth. It felt as though it became a part of me… Upon gently blowing into it… The way it sounded was indescribably beautiful. My fingers moved across the holes by themselves, creating a wonderful melody. The girls gazed at me, seemingly spellbound by the music. I felt a rumbling in my pocket and stopped playing.
I got my phone out and answered it. “Uncle Zaz here,” I started walking into the hall, but heard Kitty say: “I dunno ‘bout you guys, but that turned me on…” I smiled and concentrated more on Zaz… “I just got off the phone with Nick… He said he had taken some fluid samples from Zil and found nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all,” “Oh… Shouldn’t he ask permission from me before he does anything with her? I mean…” “Err… Well… Actually, yes… But there’s nothing visibly done to her. But the thing is: There was NOTHING wrong with her!” “Yeah… You’ve said that already… So what?” “She was too healthy for her own body, that’s my point. My guess is that she must have gotten some substance in her system that was meant for super-soldiers, or bio-engineered clones,” I just went mute. “She must have survived as long as she did because she still was quite young,” “Aha…” “Boring details… But we should probably get her buried soon. I’ve checked for relatives and such, but I couldn’t find any. Closest she had was you, so I give you the question: Where shall we bury her?” “Are there any options? Only thing that would be right would be to reunite her with her parents… Right?” It felt a bit heavy to administer a corpse, especially this one… “I agree… I’ll make some arrangements, so that you won’t have to worry about it,” “Great, thanks…” Something suddenly hit me. Zaz said he found no relatives… “You wouldn’t happen to know Foxxy’s phonenumber, would you?” “Her house is a wreck… But she’s moved in with Jusuf, so I guess you’ll reach her there… I’ll send you his number once we’re done. Anything more you need to know?” “Uhm… Do you know a… Never mind… Bye,”
I hung up my coat, then felt a rumbling in my hand. I called the number. “Serem’s residence, Xeni speaking,” It was Foxxy’s voice. “Hey, Foxxy. It’s Joon,” “Hi! Haven’t seen ya since your birthday, sorry about what happened to your girlfriend…” “Yeah… Well, anyway, do you know Trax’ phonenumber?” “Yeah, what do you need him for?” “There’s just this little thing I need to tell him…” I thought that Trax probably had some reason for not telling anyone about who he was related to… “You know that you made me VERY curious now, right? Anyway, here goes…” I repeated the number she said, and whispered it to myself several times. “Okay… Thanks, bye,” With the number fresh in memory, I pressed the corresponding buttons. The ocarina sparkled a bit, playing it was a tempting thought while I walked towards my room, but I was busy with the phone.
After a while, Trax picked up. “Yeah?” “Hi, it’s Joon…” It sounded as if he was thinking. “…Zil’s boyfriend?” he finally asked. “Yeah, that’s right… Something happened yesterday, and I thought you should know about it…” I didn’t like doing this, but it seemed only fair to tell him. As he was probably the closest relative to Zil. “This can’t be any good news, you sound so sad,” I swallowed and looked down at my bed. “She died…” “What? How? Why?” His tone had changed. “She just fell asleep and never woke up… Supposedly some old military technology infected her system, it killed Loke on the spot… But Zil died a week after, in my…” It was as though I could see the red and white fur and blond hair in my bed again. I just couldn’t say another word. “Damn… And I was going to come ‘round to telling her that we were cousins… I’ll at least come to her funeral. She’s being buried, right?” I wiped my eyes and nose. “Of course… Hopefully next to her parents,” Even I could notice how deeply this issue touched me. The ocarina in my hand turned a pale blue, even looked as though frosty smoke was coming out through the holes. “You’re related to that Snowen-guy, right?” “Yeah,” “I guess I’ll get the rest of the details from him, he seems to always be there when something happens…” I wanted to ask him if he knew uncle Zaz, but was too choked up at the moment. A simple push of a button and I hung up on him.
I more or less collapsed on my bed, I felt so drained of energy and so incredibly sad. The ocarina started puffing out frost, as it played softly a miserable tune, without even touching my lips… The holes glowed, and I watched as the colors changed along with the melody. I closed my eyes, then suddenly I saw her… Zil was standing right before me, wearing a long, sky-blue dress. “This might be the last time I’ll see you like this…” Her voice was like music to my ears. I wanted to talk back to her, but I couldn’t move my body or make a sound… only lay there and look at her. “Or I should rather say that this might be the last time you’ll see me…” Zil sounded kind of sad, but also a bit happy. She turned around. Somehow she had gotten a pair of pearly, white wings. “Aren’t they pretty? Jusuf gave them to me… He asked me to help him, and promised me that I would be able to bring you happiness…” She sighed and knelt down next to my bed. “I miss holding your hand…” she took my hand and held it to her cheek. Her cheek was warm and soft. A white, glowing fluid dripped down from her eyes and touched my hand, it was like ice… “I will never stop caring about you… But you must move on. I don’t care who, or when, but I want you to do it…” Zil let go off my hand and leant over me to give me a kiss. “As far as I’m concerned…” She paused and looked into my eyes with a serious face. “…your life has barely begun…” Her smiling, yet sad face faded away.
I opened my eyes, heard the ocarina still playing. I suddenly saw the outline of someone, but my eyes were still not used to the light. The ocarina stopped playing. “Everything alright?” Kitty’s voice sounded softly in my ears. I didn’t feel like talking. She sat down in front of me and stroked my cheek. “You’ve been crying…” I just rolled over onto my other side and really didn’t want any attention. It felt sort of shameful to be seen in this state, but it still was good to know I wasn’t entirely alone… Kitty could see the tears, even how much I tried to keep them in they got out. She murmured something, then lay her arms around me… It felt warming. I sat up and put my arms around her, almost as a reflex. She stayed with me till my eyes were dry, still only wearing her nightie. All her words were comforting, her touch was soothing.
I caught a glimpse of the clock when I let go of her. It
was
The ocarina, lying on my bed, had turned a ruddy color. I placed it on my desk, then got undressed before I crept back into my bed. Kitty came back with a pillow and blanket. “You must be starving… Drink a little of this at least,” She handed me a bottle of blood-juice. I thanked her and started gulping it down, even though it was ice-cold. I looked at Kitty, as she looked at me with a sort of smile. The empty bottle joined a couple of others on the floor. Kitty turned out the lights when she saw I was done.
I lay awake for quite a while, thinking of the things Zil has been telling me… “Kitty?” I suddenly said. She had obviously not fell asleep either and answered me immediately. “Yeah?”
My mind went blank. “Nothing…” I headed for the bathroom, as I realized my bladder hadn’t been emptied for the night. I didn’t bother to brush my teeth, didn’t feel like it was worth doing, even though they felt like they were growing hair.
Back in bed, I lay a few minutes before I opened my mouth again. “Kitty?” “Yeah?” I felt like doing something extraordinary. Actualize something I wanted to do… “Would it be alright for you to…” I was nervous to continue, as the message I was trying to give her was very obvious. “…sleep with me?” The sound of her suddenly sitting up and go mute was creepy. What if she didn’t want to? What if she thought I was just trying to have sex with her again?
The sound of two feet touching the floor, carefully moving closer through the darkness. The feeling of her crawling in beneath my sheets, placing her backside up against my front side. She placed my hand on her waist. “Good enough for you?” She said jokingly and sank down into the pillow.
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling right then and there, but I felt warm and safe for once… The feeling you get from being a small child in the arms of your mother. I could feel that Kitty was quite comfortable with me snuggled up against her, she was happy…
I walked through stone halls, bearing a torch and a magnificent suit of armor and a great sword sheathed on my back. All was still. The sound of my armor creaking, my nervous breath. I enter a room, not very big, with a pool in the middle. Upon closer examination, the pool contained a red liquid. I dipped my finger in it, smelled it and tasted it. Blood, without a doubt… Its’ sweet taste felt revitalizing, I scooped up some with my hands and slurped it up. What once was darkness was now fully visible. I drank some more… The feeling was amazing, as though my muscles were swelling and all my worries drifted away. I wanted more… I emptied a waterskin, then submerged it, filling it as full as I could.
Suddenly, something grabbed my hand. I fumbled for my sword with the other hand. It was another hand that held mine, and soon a muzzle emerged from the pool. I tried to pull my hand away, but the grip was too tight. A female body leaps out of the pool, making me fall on my back. The naked dripping body looked terribly familiar. She opened her eyes, gazed deeply into mine. I couldn’t move… She calmly sat down on top of my breastplate, took my helmet and gorget off. Her fangs stuck out from beneath her lip, her long hair dripped with blood. Blood dripped on my face, as she leant over me and kissed me and licked up the blood that had dripped on my face. Somehow she had managed to undo the straps and hinges of my breastplate and slid the front piece underneath her, off my body. She tore my shirt open, started licking my chest. “You like this… Don’t you?” She said tauntingly with Jool’s voice. All attempts to wriggle away from her was useless, my body didn’t respond. Her hand snapped the leather straps that held my pauldrons in place with the greatest of ease, leaving my neck and shoulders bare. Her sinister smile was the last I saw of her face before she leant down to my neck, placed a hand on top of my head and the other on the side of my chest. A sharp sting…
I lay facing the wall, my heart pounded furiously and I
drew short, fast breaths. I realized it was a nightmare. Kitty had her arms
around me, and I could feel her soft breath on the back of my neck. I carefully
turned my head so I could see the red numbers on my alarm-clock.
“So this is where Kitty’s been hiding,” Jool said and awoke me. “Damn… I’m not sure what to think about this…” Star said. “Maybe we should leave them alone… They look so happy together,” Careen was also nearby.
I could feel my nose touching Kitty’s, and that we lay pressed tightly up against each other. My left hand was on her buttock.
“This feels so damn weird… One of my best friends with my brother?” Star was obviously scared of losing the relationship, to either of us, that she had learnt to accept. “Heh… Let’s just wake them and interrogate them…” The sound of Jool drew nearer, the light went on. I opened my eyes just in time to see Jool rip the sheets off of us. Kitty’s nightie had slipped up quite a bit, I quickly removed my hand from her silky panty. It felt a bit awkward to have Jool staring down at us. Kitty opened her eyes slowly. Jool crossed her arms over the short top and spread her legs a bit. “Now then, my horny little friends, what have you to say for yourself?” Kitty smiled at me, then said: “It was an accident…” I smiled back at her. Love was in the air again, I was quite certain of it…
“Accident my ass! At least share a little!” Jool hopped onto my bed and lay down behind me. Star and Careen came closer. “Jealous, Jool?” Kitty asked. “Nah,” Jool answered “But I thought there had to be some reason you didn’t want to snuggle up with me…” She said jokingly and played with my tail. “Aww… You never asked,” Kitty said and had a good laugh with Jool.
“So is she any good in bed, Joon?” Jool asked me and grabbed my ass. Kitty looked at me with a serious and worried face, intimidated by the question. I knew what she meant… “None of your business,” I told her. “Oooh… Are we hiding something perhaps?” Jool was suddenly very interested. Star and Careen were discussing something in the other end of my room.
I knew that if I didn’t thread lightly I would fall through a trapdoor. I turned over, faced Jool and said. “Yeah… It’s in my boxers if your so damn curious,” Then I started pulling at her pants. “You wouldn’t happen to have anything fun down there…?” Jool grabbed my hand before I could see too much of her private area. “Naughty bastard,” She said with a grin and got up. “Why don’t you just ask Kitty if you need to see some pussy,” She jumped over us and onto the floor. Kitty sat up and rubbed her eyes and stretched. Jool suddenly pulled Kitty’s nightie off and ran away with a childish laugh. Kitty quickly covered her breasts. “Act your age, Jool!” Star yelled and giggled a bit. Careen left the room. Star looked at us, covered her smile with her hand. “Don’t just stand there, go and… do something…” Kitty said and waved her away with one hand while covering up with the other arm.
We were alone. “Just the two of us…” She said with a slight tremble. Something inside me felt amiss, but still I felt aroused by her. I sat up and put an arm around her, she uncovered her breasts and embraced me. Slowly she pushed me back down while kissing me. Her hands caressed my body.
I was turned on… But I still didn’t have a boner…
Kitty slipped her hand down into my boxer, then found a disappointment… I could see it in her eyes that she wondered “Why?”, but all she got back from me was a look of shame. What was wrong with me? This didn’t happen last time…
Kitty stopped her caressing and rather looked worried at me. She didn’t know what it was like to carry something between ones’ legs, but she did know that it was stiff last time she threw herself at me. I didn’t know if I should be ashamed, but I was.
I just got out of bed and pulled on my pants and a t-shirt, then left Kitty without saying a word.
Star, Careen and Jool went to the store, as the fridge was empty. Kitty had finally got some clothes on. We sat in the living room, apart. My thoughts were so caught up on my penis, and why it didn’t act normal. Was something wrong with it? Had I gone impotent? Was it broken?
Aunt Eve came to visit, and give me some messages. She sat down with me and Kitty in the living room, without taking off her coat.
“The Star-Gazers will not let you have a burial on their grounds, they say that Zil is your responsibility. Zaz has arranged something with Jusuf instead, and a certain Aran Lyren is being picked up by a synth to witness the burial,” Kitty stared blankly at the TV, I guess she too was wondering about my behavior. Eve looked at us and saw that something was wrong. “What is wrong?” She asked me telepathically. “I couldn’t get an erection,” I answered her. Kitty knew nothing of our conversation. “And now you are both blaming yourselves,” I just nodded. “It’s nothing either of you can control, you are just a bit shook up by Zil’s passing, that’s all,”
Kitty suddenly looked at Eve with a twinkle in her eyes, and a smile slowly stretching. She then moved up against me and kissed my neck. Eve smiled, in her strange way, then got up. “Zaz is getting a new eye just as we speak, mechanical. I hope you two know I what I know…” She cryptically said and left out the door. She left on a hover-cycle.
“What are you so happy about?” I asked Kitty. She just giggled and said: “Nothing…”, then lay down across my lap.
I was awoken by a thumping sound inside the house. Kitty lay fast asleep on top of me with my arms around her. I felt incredibly drowsy, felt like moon-sickness had hit me. The thumping went into the kitchen, then left the way it came in. Careen came into the living room. “What the hell was that?” “Just Star using an X0-skeleton to carry groceries…” She answered. “Looks like you two are a bit moon-sick,” I just nodded. “You should go to bed, so that you can rest comfortably,”
I looked down at Kitty. She looked so peaceful, smiling. At least her body was warm… I lifted kitty and carried her to my room, placed her on my bed. She seemed to enjoy that I took off her clothes, leaving her in nothing but her panties.
Soon, I had just as many pieces of clothing on my body. I turned out the lights and snuggled up close with her underneath the sheets. It felt good and warm, both physically and mentally…
“Hey there, sleepy-head…” Something had a soft grip on my shoulder, and there was a soft voice in my ear. With clouded eyes I saw a black hand, then I rolled onto my back and saw that it was mom. “Found a new girlfriend, huh?” She smiled down at me. I nodded and smiled back at her. “Star’s a bit jealous… But she’ll get over it. I’m a bit worried about you though…” Mom grabs my arm and feels it, then strokes my cheek. “You look so skinny… Star said you haven’t eaten the last days,” Her blue eyes pierced me and showed that she was worried. She leaned over and hugged me, then kissed my forehead. “I’m too tired to tell you to do anything, but I’ll probably come up with something tomorrow… Just have fun tonight,” Mom left.
I had almost forgot about the
full moon. Kitty still slept peacefully. I felt weak… The clock showed
Dreams of frozen landscapes filled my mind. The frozen sea was truly a beautiful sight. I wandered along the icy shore, when a divine song came to ear. I looked along the white, crystallized water and caught eye of a being sitting on a rock. Moving closer made the song sound even more alluring.
It was a girl… With long, silvery, white hair and cold, blue fur. She turned around when I was on arm’s length. Her frosty, blue eyes looked like the ice beneath me, and her belly was as white as snow. I felt an extreme cold spread throughout my body, though the girl sat naked, still singing her song. Whether it was a sad or happy song was hard to tell… The words she used were not in my vocabulary, though the song gave a strong feeling that she sung “come to me”… I reached out to touch her, she slid down from the rock and held me in her cold embrace. Even though it sent chills through me, it felt soothing. Her lips weren’t moving, but I could still hear her song echoing inside of me. She gently got me out of my clothes, caressing me while doing it. I didn’t know why I didn’t resist, because the air was freezing. Her hands slid slowly up my chest and pressed my muzzle down so she could kiss me. I could feel my inside melt, as well as freezing up. She took a few steps back and stared at me. Her face looked sad and lonely. Her tail and hair swayed gently in the frozen breeze as she slowly walked away, again singing her song…