There was a gentle stroking on my cheek. When I opened my eyes, I saw it was mom. “Aren’t you feeling well, honey?” “I’m just fine…” I replied and yawned. “You slept through a full moon… And you haven’t eaten in days…” She looked down on me, I could smell that she was fresh out of the shower. “Just get dressed and I’ll make you some breakfast, okay?”
She patted me on my chest and left the room. I wanted to just roll over and go back to sleep, but mom would probably just wake me again. My thoughts were around Zil and Kitty, what things might have been like if this and that happened instead of what had happened.
In the kitchen, mom was preparing some stuff that I never had seen before. The frying pan sizzled loudly. “Hope you like this as much as I do…” She had put two plates and glasses on the table and another thing I didn’t know what was. I sat down and looked at the bottle of white liquid. “What’s this stuff?” Mom turned around briefly. “That’s milk, honey, it’s something to drink…” I considered it a bit before pouring myself a glass. The taste was hard to describe, but it was pretty good compared to that icky morning-taste. The sizzling stopped and mom grabbed my plate. She put it back with some slices of bread, some shriveled, red strips and some round thing with a yellow centre and some white stuff around. She seated herself after putting the same stuff on her plate. “Egg, bacon, milk…” Mom pointed at the different items and poured some milk. “You put the bacon on the bread, and then you eat… Same procedure with the egg,” She chuckled a bit for herself and took a bite of it. I mimicked her procedure, even though the bacon was extremely greasy, and found that it tasted quite good.
“What’s this stuff made from?” I asked after swallowing. “Bacon comes from pigs, eggs from chickens and milk from cows,” Mom answered casually and rolls her eyes. “Oh, it’s so long since I’ve had any meat in my diet…” She noticed my wide eyes and frozen jaw. “Yes, you’re eating animal parts… Tastes good, huh?” She smiled and kept eating. I was a bit surprised, to say the least. All my life it has been against the law to eat other living things… But it still tasted good, so I kept eating. “Keep in mind that we’re supposed to be related to omnivores, so this is pretty much natural… But how about telling your dear mother how your weekend has been,” Her eyes locked onto mine. “Zil died, for starters… and now she can’t be buried in SG-grounds because uncle gave me ownership of her,” Mom just shook her head and muttered some strange words, but gesticulated that I was to go on. “It seems that Kitty and I have something going on…” Mom smiled and said: “That’s great. So… Have you done IT with her yet?” She smiled slyly and snickered. “Mom!” “Sorry, hun… So what more?” She raised her glass and put it to her lips. “Some dead crow-guy gave me some things. His name was Jonah D’Argyl and…” Mom found it hard to swallow, along with her sip of milk. “You alright, mom?” She coughed a bit and wiped her mouth. “Fine… Fine… Just fine… Just some memories coming back… But you gotta be kidding. He can’t possibly be alive, or here for that matter,” “Well… Technically he’s already dead… But he told me about this ring he had that made him live on,” Mom sort of gasped, eyes widened. “Oh my god… That poor man…” “He’s obviously been through a bit… seeing as he’s a crow or something…” Mom gasped again, even louder…
The doorbell chimed. “I’ll get it,” I said and let mom
catch her breath and gather her thoughts. Uncle Zaz stood in a black suit
outside the door, with a new right eye. It was black, with a blue shine from
the sun and some noticeable stitches on the sides. “Morning, Fredrik… Aren’t
you supposed to be asleep by now?” “No… Slept through the night…” Zaz walked
inside and closed the door. “Hate to tell you this… But I’ve got more bad
news,” I just sighed and wanted to get it over with. “Aran Lyren was severely
injured during transport last night, but M & P are working with Nick to
salvage as much of his body they can. He’ll will be
just fine, and he’ll get a new image, that’s for sure…” “So you knew that he
was Trax?” Zaz just smiled. “I founded The Red League… So, yes… Oh, and, Jusuf
will do the burial tomorrow, so Trax might have a chance of seeing his cousin a
last time at the morgue this evening. Wouldn’t want to come along, would you?”
It was a tough decision. It would be creepy to see her again, but I wanted to
see her a last time. I just nodded. Zaz patted my shoulder and smiled, then
headed on into the kitchen. “Oh my god!” I could hear
mom say a bit disgusted and went to the kitchen. “Beats the patch, huh, sis?”
Zaz stood in front of mom and looked down at her with the prosthesis. I sat
down and continued eating the greasy stuff… “And sis, don’t forget,” He held
out his hand and tipped his head down. A blackish blue orb falls into his hand.
“Big brother is watching you…” Mom was utterly disgusted by the little thing
and tried backing away from it, but Zaz just laughed. So did I.
He throws it in the air and lands it right in the socket. “You should get one
of these in a goggle format,” He told me “then you could ask your sister to
drop it off in the girls’ locker-room,” Mom didn’t like that idea much, but I
on the other hand… “Sorry to leave so soon, but you know me…” Zaz adjusted his
eye and left. Mom just shook her head and looked at the rest of her breakfast.
“Eat up,” She shoved her plate over to me. I gladly ate the stuff. Hadn’t eaten
for days!
Things had started to settle inside of me. I had an appetite again, and a craving for Kitty… I didn’t think so much about Zil as I had done other days. Mom took me to town, just to spend some time with me. As we passed the school, everybody stared at me, but not in a hating way… I could hear them talking about me, but not in a bad tone. It felt weird.
Things got a bit boring when I had to wait for mom to browse through some clothes. Ended up with buying me some new sets of clothes… “Wouldn’t this look nice on you?” was her standard question. At least I stuck with my favorite colors.
Passing the school on our way home, mom asked me again“Are you sure you don’t want to give it a new chance?” and pointed to the big building. I stopped and looked at it for a while. “I’ll consider it…” Mom smiled at my answer. “I’m sure Kitty would appreciate it… You could spend more time together, maybe make some new friends,”
I didn’t want to give a final answer then and there, but told her again that I would consider it. She respected that and started talking about what she’d experienced with dad in the weekend… “I saw the most BORING people in MD-territory, and had to listen to them yap on about this and that… And of course dad and I lay his case for them,” “That MDs and SGs should be able to mix?” Mom smiled. “Bingo… And afterwards, your romantic dad showed me a wonderful time, in bed…” “MOM!” I didn’t want details. Mom just laughed a bit. “Sorry, hun… But we’ve not had so many chances to do that kinda stuff in our lives. Last time I felt like that, was when we made you,”
The snow was hard and icy, glittering in the sun. Mom suddenly said: “It wouldn’t surprise me if you got a little brother or sister…”, then she touched her belly. “Oh?” “I’ve got the same feeling as I did for over 15 years ago. The months while I was pregnant,” Mom looked both happy and sad, I was just a bit baffled. The thought of a new addition to the family was a welcome one, although it felt a bit strange in a way…
She sighed, then put an arm on my shoulders. “I miss the time when you were just a little pup… When I could hold you in my arms, and dream of your magnificent future,” “Have I disappointed you?” Mom just pecked me on the cheek and said: “Far from it…” We both smiled, and didn’t say another word before we got home.
We sat and watched TV together, mom and I. Dad made some headlines in the news. His case would be taken in consideration with the Alphas. This was obviously a great breakthrough according to mom. And then there was a great piece of news, to me at least. “The son of Beta Storm, Joon Fredrik Storm, is now free from his charges from the SG-council. This due to the replacement of ALL the council-members. There will no longer be a bounty on Joon’s head, and his title as hero among MDs is now official,” I felt like running over to the TV and kissing the newsreader. She was pretty, but there still was the screen between us… “Hero?!” I asked a bit stunned. Mom leant over from the other end of the sofa and hugged me hard and long. “Congratulations,” I could practically feel her smile against my cheek. “Why am I called a hero?” Mom released her grip and saw that I wasn’t just happy for the news. “You saved Kimmy, and Rhahl… And you stood up for SGs and MDs alike. Only your grandfather has done anything like that according to your father,” “But still… Hero is quite a title…” “You’ll always be a hero in my eyes… And don’t forget what Kimmy sees you as. I’ve heard from her parents that she’s been drawing lots of drawings of you. To her; you’ll always be the one who got her back home,” I could tell from her voice that she wanted to cry. I never really thought of it that way… I mean, it was no big deal to me. I was just lucky to end up in the same prison as Kimmy and Rhahl…
Star marched into the house, barely standing. “How was your day, Star?” Mom turned her head and looked into the hall. All I could hear was a grumpy “Fuck off” and something being dragged upstairs. Mom just laughed. “Poor, Star,”
A few hours later, dad came home. First thing he did was give mom a kiss, then he sat down between us and put his briefcase on the coffeetable. The locks flipped open and he opened it. It was full of files and there was a little computer placed in one of the corners. “I couldn’t have done this without either of you,” Dad sounded quite pleased. He slips a finger into a pocket inside of the briefcase and pulls out a photo. He held it in front of me and squeezed me with his other arm. It was me and Zil… “I know I should have asked you first, but now that you’re a symbol this picture is priceless…” He hands it to me and hugs me. “Take good care of it. I know how much memories are worth, and they sure ain’t worth losing,”
I stared at the picture. Let the vivid red sink deep into my mind, and remind me of everything about Zil. “Hey…” Dad interrupted me. “You’ve been through a lot of shit, but when you turn around and look back at the concrete road you’ve been walking down; You’ll see that the road was paved with gold,” Dad pecked me on the cheek. I felt a bit in doubt. “Don’t doubt it, son,” dad got up and closed his briefcase “I’ve got more experience with stuff like that than I wish I had,” He smiled cleverly at me and whispered something into mom’s ear, then headed upstairs while mom was busy giggling. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “Well…” Mom got a grip on herself “Let’s just say that the chances of you getting a little brother or sister seems to be quite…” “Alright, I get the point…” I interrupted her and smiled, then I headed off to the kitchen. Mom crept upstairs, silently, but not silently enough for my ears. Preparing food for myself put me on other thoughts, though I knew well what they were doing upstairs.
The photo lay on my desk, along with those few other snapshots from my life and the ocarina. I lay on my bed, watching TV. It was pushing towards evening, and it hit me that I was supposed to go to the morgue. I called uncle Zaz and asked when I was supposed to be there. He told me about nine, at the hospital. “Where’s the hospital?” “Just use your 20-13 as an auto-pilot and you’ll find it,”
The bike felt a bit different to ride, but I blamed the cold. It was dark and white flakes drizzled. The hospital was huge, and enveloped in light. Uncle Zaz met me by the entrance, and patted my shoulder. We didn’t say anything, but I followed him into an elevator. It stopped on sub-level 2. The air down here was a bit thick. “Don’t let the smell get to you,” Zaz said and lead me past some autopsy-rooms, where some white-clad people dug about mangled corpses. Finally, we reached Nick, who was talking to someone in a long coat. Nick notices us, and the guy in the coat turns around. Underneath the open coat, there were scattered patches of red or white fur and metallic parts. His face was almost fully metallic, only the top part and his right eye was organic. “Trax…?” I asked him, stunned by what he had become. He just nodded. Nick lead us further into the level, and into an autopsy-room. On a table, there was a corpse covered by a white sheet. “Ready?” Nick asked and held his hand ready to uncover it. Trax buzzed and nodded, I kinda did the same. Nick slowly pulled away the sheet, revealing Zil’s naked corpse. I started feeling sick… She was still smiling. Trax’ right eye started to run and clanked his metal hands onto the table. “I took some fluid-samples from her to get a clear picture of the cause of death, but it doesn’t show anywhere,” Zaz noticed that I was touched by this. His firm hand on my shoulder helped a little… “Can I… touch her?” Nick nodded at me. I slowly placed my hand on her belly. It was cold, but she was as soft as ever. I then stroked her cheek, remembered how her blue eyes could make my heart stop. I pressed a tear out of my eye, but upon reopening my eyes Zil stood on the other side of the table, in her blue dress and with her pearly wings. She looked down at her own corpse, then at me with a smile and then she was gone…
I was calm, but still uneasy… Something kept me awake for a long time before I finally fell asleep. It felt as though the vision was a symbol for something, but I didn’t know what. Though that night, I finally realized it. Zil was gone, but sure as hell not forgotten…
Mom was by my side at the burial, so was Trax. It was only the three of us and Jusuf in the cemetery at the cold and early hours. The wooden casket was gently lowered into the grave by some small winches. Jusuf chanted many strange things, often referring to a higher power. Mom put her arm around me when she saw a tear roll down my muzzle. The salt Jusuf sprinkled into the grave blended in with the snowflakes. Even though it was a bit hard to tell by only looking, I could feel that Trax was sad. I could almost hear him regret that he didn’t get to know her before it was too late.
My leather coat was warm, but I didn’t feel particularly warm. Jusuf grabbed two handfuls of dirt, blessed them and sprinkled them over the grave.
After a few more minutes with praying, Jusuf walked over to us and said: “That’s it… I’ve done my part…” He sounded quite heavy-hearted and started walking away, slowly. Trax looked at me, then hugged me and didn’t want to stay there anymore.
Mom draped her arm on my shoulders. “Well, Fredrik… I guess that’s it…” I kept staring at the tombstone and the fresh grave, waiting to be covered. “Shall we go? Or do you need some more time?” I sighed and nodded. “I’ll wait by the gates,” She patted my shoulder and started walking.
Zil Lyren, 13.4.210 – 24.12.225 “What once was lost will soon be found”…
“She was a pretty girl…” I heard an elderly voice behind me. Upon turning around, I saw an old MD wearing a purple loincloth and many bands and amulets. His long, gray hair was finely braided here and there with carved pieces of wood or bone hanging in it. “Who are you?” The old male smiled at me. “You have made an important step towards my dream… My son’s dream… And your dream…” “What are you talking about?” “A red angel has fallen into the gray soil…” He pointed towards the grave, and I turned around again. The mound of dirt that was next to the open hole had now filled the grave. “How did you…?” When I turned around to look back at the old one, he was gone… There were no traces in the snow. Nothing.
The sun was still just peeking over the eastern horizon. Everything had a golden glow.
Mom waited at the gates, as she said she would. I was sad, but it felt as though my burdens were lighter.
Kitty called me in the afternoon. She didn’t sound well. Her coughing and stuffed voice was a big tip-off. “I feel so lonely without you around,” She said and coughed hard. “Do you want me to come over and play doctor?” I said with a little laugh. “Would be nice of you to come… Kimmy would prob’ly…” She stopped to cough and blow her nose. “… Kimmy’s been dying to see you, so has my parents…” “I’ll be right over,” I told her and got called something nice, but it was tuned out by mucus…
After telling mom where I was going, I threw on my coat and took the five minute walk to Kitty’s house. It was white. Her mother opened the door, she looked quite young. “Hi, I’m here to see Kitty,” “She’s in her room,” She said and let me in. “My name’s Natalia by the way,” I shook hands with her and said my name while hanging up my coat. I could see she wanted to say something, but it didn’t seem to come out at first. “We’re very grateful for what you did…” “It was nothing…” I tried to tell her. “You saved my little baby from those awful…” “Look…” I interrupted her “I don’t want anything from you. Your oldest daughter should be enough…” I smiled cleverly at her and she just had to laugh a little. “I can see why Kitty likes you so much… Just go upstairs and look for a door with her name on it,” She patted my shoulder and showed me the staircase. A few doors down a hall, there was a sign that was obviously crafted by a child’s hands. On the other side of that door I could hear Kitty coughing, sniffing and blowing her nose. I carefully opened the door and entered. The room was obviously controlled by a girl, with its’ many posters of “pretty” guys and fluffy cuteness. But I was distracted by the fluffy cuteness lying in her bed, so I don’t remember exactly what the posters depicted. “Hi…” She smiled and looked at me with tired eyes. I smiled back at her, closed the door again and sat down next to her on her bed. Kitty was wearing her nightie, with her legs beneath the duvet and a big pile of tissue paper on the floor. “How are you feeling?” “Terrible…” I put my arm around her. She was very warm. “…but I’m starting to feel a bit better now…” She coughed a bit and wiped her runny nose. I then embraced her and rested my muzzle on her shoulder. “Doctor Storm is gonna make you feel better,” “Fuck him, I want you!”
We both laughed and Kitty coughed some more. “You wouldn’t mind getting me some painkillers?” “Of course not… Where are they?” “Just ask mom…”
I went downstairs and fumbled my way into what seemed to be a kitchen. Mrs. Koru was cooking something when she noticed me. “Kitty asked for some painkillers…” I said. Mrs. Koru stretched up into a cupboard and threw me a small box with them. “Glasses in that cupboard,” She pointed to another cupboard. I took out a glass and filled it with water, then returned to Kitty. She popped two pills in her mouth and gulped down the water. “Thanks,”
Kimmy came along a bit later. Popped her head in while I was kissing Kitty and interrupted us with a giggle. “What do you want, Kimmy?” Kitty asked in a grumpy kind of way. “Nothing…” Kimmy had her eyes on me. “Maybe you could show Joon all the drawings you’ve made of him?” Kitty sets her feet on the floor and gets up, helped by me. Kimmy nods eagerly. “I seriously need to go to the bathroom…” Kitty whispers to me and staggers out the door. She gives Kimmy my hand, and I’m immediately pulled into the room across the hall. There are lots of drawings pinned on the walls. “So you’ve been making drawings of me?” “Uh-huh,” She nodded and took me to her desk. There was a pile of drawings there and a box of crayons. Kimmy hopped onto a chair and handed me a drawing. I recognized that it was me by the markings, but my ears looked quite big… “Have I got that big ears?” I was aware that I had ears like an SG, so I just smiled at her. She giggled a bit and shook her head. “They’re not THAT big…” I put down the drawing and was immediately presented with another. “This is when you turned all big and scary,” She had a certain talent for proportions, though I doubted that my claws were longer than my legs… It showed clearly the huge beast I know I got within me, even the markings were correct.
Kimmy handed me the last drawing, I put down the other. It was me and a girl that resembled Kitty, with some hearts floating about. Kimmy blushed when I looked at her… “Great drawings,” “Thanks,” She slips down from the chair and looks up at me with a serious face. “Joon?” “Yeah?” “Can I give you a hug?”
I just smiled, knelt down and opened my arms for her. Her small arms wrapped around my neck and her muzzle rested on my shoulder. “Thank you for saving me…” I put my arms around her and picked her up. “You’re welcome,” I told her in a comforting way, she sniffed a bit. I turned a bit with Kimmy in my arms and noticed Kitty standing in the doorway, looking at me with a big, warm smile. I put down Kimmy on her bed, saw that her eyes were a bit moist. Before going to Kitty, I put a smile on Kimmy’s face by pecking her on the cheek.
“Wow…” Kitty whispered to me when I got close enough. “You’re her hero you know…” I nodded. Kitty looked tired and held onto me as I lead her to her bed. “I dunno why, but what you did with Kimmy right now must’ve been the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” She coughed slightly and smiled while she crept back beneath her duvet.
“Joon!” Mrs. Koru called, and I headed downstairs. My nostrils were filled by the smell of food. “Yes, Mrs. Koru?” I said when I reached the kitchen. “Be a good boy and give this to Kitty,” She handed me a bowl of stew “and here’s some for you,” and another. I nodded and thanked her.
When I got up Kitty was fast asleep. She wasn’t coughing or sniffing, just breathing calmly. I set down the bowls on her desk and knelt down by her and stroked her cheek. She smiled and sighed. Looked like an angel… A tired angel that had fallen asleep…