Mercenary: The Early Years
Painfully Yours:
Shortie by Lone Wolf
Narrated by Suzie DeSerpa

	By now you should know that my life is a living hell. Between few 
friends, many enemies (some incredibly vicious), and the Disgraced name 
tacked onto my person, it can be very stressful and painful. Sometimes it 
gets too painful. I've tried many ways to get rid of it: crying, going into 
depression, and so forth. At one point in my life, I even considered 
suicide...

************************************************************************

	The apartment I shared with Amber was silent. A group of gang members 
had fled from egging our window when one sent a brick through it. The brick 
smashed the glass of the window and crashed into our wooden table, 
splintering it. I peered up from my hiding place behind the counter that 
seperated the main room from the kitchen. I only saw the destruction for a 
few seconds; my eyes started to water shortly after, therefor blurring my 
sight. I looked around for Amber. She was out on a business call off planet. 
I couldn't contact her otherwise. I started for my coat to go drop by at the 
Wrecking Crew bunks to find Crash. He told me I could go to him if I needed 
someone to talk to. But I stopped as soon as I got one arm into the coat. He 
was out on a contract. I had no idea when he would be back. I shut my eyes 
and hung my coat back up. I had nobody I could talk to. I went into the 
bathroom and looked into the vanity. The tears were streaming down my face. 
The pain was welling up in my stomach. I started to cramp. I slid the 
cabinet open and took the bottle of asprin. I looked at it for a few seconds 
and decided.

	I was going to end my pain. For good.

	I will never be able to accurately describe the pain I experienced 
after I downed the entire bottle. It was like my stomach collaped in on 
itself, traveled up my body, and exploded in my head. I fell over the toilet 
and started to throw up. Instantly, I didn't want to go through with it. I 
fell onto my side, still vomiting. I curled up, hoping that would subside 
the pain. It never happened. I shut my eyes and tried to ignore the pain.

	They always say that the first thing people who try to commit suicide 
is get the desire not to die. I can tell you that is absolutely true. I 
didn't want to die. My life was difficult, yes, that's true. But it wasn't 
worth this pain to get out of it. My world had become black, the pain 
coursing through my body. I felt helpless. I didn't know if this was the end 
for me or not.

	Suddenly, the pain stopped. I felt a wave of coolness - or was it 
warmth? - overcome my body. I felt comforted, like I was in the arms of 
someone who cared for me. Was I dead? Was this the afterlife? I heard a 
distant voice. [Now is not your time] it said.
	"Crash?" I tried to call out. No words came from my lips.
	[Don't die on me Suzie. Please don't]
	"Crash! I'll try." I was "hugged" tightly. The wave of coolness 
coated me again. The pain in my stomach and head were gone. My strength was 
slowly returning to me. I knew I wasn't going to die.

	I opened my eyes and saw the med bay ceiling. I ventured to sit up, 
but could only manage to get my head up. I looked around. The nurses and 
doctors walked by me, tending to other patients. They wouldn't have noticed 
me anyway, since my head was barely up. I layed it back down and sighed. 
Some guardian angel had come down and brought me here, I thought. I shut my 
eyes and thanked whoever it was. I opened my eyes afterwards and looked 
around again. That's when I saw Crash by the side of my bed. He had his arms 
rested on the railing and had his head buried into them. Was it he who 
brought me here? I reached up for him, painful as it was, and touched his 
shoulder lightly. He jumped and looked up. "Wha-?" His fur was matted from 
tears that I know were shed for me.
	"Crash?" I said, my voice barely a whisper.
	He looked at me. "S-suzie?" I nodded, probably the only thing I could 
do. He blinked, trying to clear newly forming tears in his eyes. He 
intertwined his fingers with mine. "What did you do to yourself?"
	I shut my eyes and took a deep, labored breath. "An entire bottle of 
asprin. It was too much for me."
	"What was too much for you?"
	"I don't know who, but a group of people were egging my windows. 
Someone sent a brick through the window and smashed the table. It was too 
much for me. I didn't have Amber or you around. I..."
	He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Calm down Suzie. I'm here for you 
now."
	"But what about Marcus and-?"
	"I told Marcus. He's excused me for a few months to watch over you." 
He leaned closer and kissed my cheek. "Don't ever do that again."
	I smiled - that really made his day - and tried to squeeze back. "I 
don't plan on doing that any time soon. It hurt too much." 
	He nodded and got up. "I should get going. I'll be back tomorrow, 
okay?"
	I shook my head. "Crash, please stay with me."
	"They're going to tell me to leave soon. I don't think I'm going to 
have a choice."
	I sighed and turned my head away.
	"Suzie, it's okay. I'll be here for you for however long it takes."
	"Just tell me one thing."
	He nodded. "Okay."
	"Were you the one who brought me here?" He nodded. My eyes watered. 
"Thank you."
	He smiled. "Anything for a friend." He tipped a finger to me and left 
me to my bed. I shut my eyes and started to weep silently. I felt awful for 
putting him through that. I only hoped he didn't take it personally.

	He kept his promise and returned to my bedside the next morning, 
bright and early. By that time, I had the strength to sit up and some 
movement in my arms again. That totally thrilled him. As soon as he saw me 
sitting up in bed, he came over and hugged me. My day instantly became 
brighter. "How are you doing lovely?"
	I blushed a bit. "I'm not lovely."
	"Yes you are." He sat down. "I brought you something." He pulled from 
his jacket a single, white rose and fixed it into my hair. "There. You look 
fantastic."
	"Thanks Crash. I guess I owe you a big one."
	"Think nothing of it. You're my friend. I would have done that for 
anyone."
	I caught his gaze. "Crash, what happened last night?"
	He took a deep breath and shut his eyes. "I returned last night from 
the contract. I knew Amber was out - she warned me about her trip - so I 
knew I had to check up on you. I told Marcus and came here. When I the only 
response I got was puking, I had to break the door down. I found you slumped 
on the floor by the toilet, curled up, and an empty bottle of asprin at your 
feet."
	I took his hand. "Crash, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have gone through 
that. I can understand why you wouldn't want to care for me anymore."
	He squeezed my hand gently. "Suzie, if that were the case, would I 
have come back today? Hell, for that matter, would I have brought you here 
in the first place?" I shook my head. "What does that tell you?"
	"That..." I looked away from him, a bit ashamed of myself. "That you 
care for me."
	"Suzie, you're my friend. It's not because I'm your unofficial 
guardian. It's because I know you're a very sweet and kind person." He let 
go of my hand. "Even if I weren't protecting you, I would still be your 
friend."
	"Crash, you are the greatest man alive. I don't deserve a friend like 
you."
	He kissed my cheek. "Yes you do."
	I looked at him and smiled. "Sometimes I wish you were a woman."
	He chuckled. "I'll make you straight yet."

************************************************************************

	I am now very allergic to asprin. My headaches are one of my major 
problems now, since I can't take anything to get rid of the pain. I can 
never, ever take anything asprin anymore. But I really don't need it. I have 
the biggest pain relievers of all - Crash and his friendship. They're the 
best way to get rid of the agony of life and every day pains.

	Every so often, when I see him in the Pub, I go over and hug him. It 
usually ends up in me apologizing to Stephanie or me crying a bit, but the 
message I give him is always the same. He and he always accepts it, 
returning with an encouraging few words or a hug and kiss. It's always the 
same, never changing:

	"Thank you for saving me."

End
Suzie, Crash, and any other mentioned characters are © Lone Wolf and 
<([ Lone Wolf Studios ])>