"Bedtime story for Bromus" - Edouard Kock "Im tired...", Bromus yawns, padding over to the couch where Ed is sitting watching television. "Hmmm?", Ed mumbles, not wanting to look away from the tv. There is a claymation show on about a building superintendant... "Ed?", the weredragon pokes him in the side with a claw. "Erf! What is it, Bromus?", the irritated Ed askes the weredragon, turning to face him. But his anger dies away quickly as he sees how Bromus is swaying slightly from side to side, his eyelids heavy. Looking at clock on the wall, Ed realizes that it is way past Bromus's bedtime. "What are you still doing up, Bromus?", Ed asks, reaching for the remote and switching off the television. "I can't sleep, but Im really tired. I want to sleep... ", Bromus mutters, leaning forward slightly and almost falling forward if not for Miktar pulling him back. Miktar had been sitting behind the couch listening to music on Ed's discman, but heard the sleepy weredragon through the music. Now, the dragon is hugging Bromus, keeping him from falling off the couch. "Okay, in to bed with you, Bromus...", Ed mutters, motioning to Miktar to help Bromus up. Bromus is reknowned for slight insomnia, and Ed really feels bad when the weredragon cannot get the sleep he needs. Bromus is a very energetic type, romping around the whole day, erfing at this and that. Miktar helps Bromus up, and out of the living room into Ed's room. Bromus plops down on the bed, and Ed pulls the sheets over him. "But Ed, Im still tired, and cannot sleep..", the weredragon mutters. "Shhhh", Ed remarks, and puts his finger over the weredragon's snout. "Im going to tell you a bedtime story..". Bromus's ears suddenly perk up and point forward, intent on listening to Ed's bedtime story. Bromus loves bedtime stories. Almost as much as he loves erfing. Miktar, also interested in the story Ed is going to tell, finds himself a spot on the cluttered floor and sits down. Ed, sitting on the side of the bed, scritching Bromus's headfur lightly, begins his story. "It was a really long time ago. A lot longer than you think. Things were very diffrent, back then, that long ago." Ed scratches his nose. "People were living very simple lives, farming, hearding sheep and so on. They..." "Were there any weredragons back then?" Bromus asks, raising his paw. "Eh? Erm.. no. They weren't around yet." Ed answers, scritching his head. "Oh, okay.... well, go on..", Bromus mutters, lowering his paw. "Right, where was I? Oh yes. Simple times, simple people. They had very little fear in life, their biggest worry was that the rains might not come in time, and then their crops would not be harvested in time, and they would all starve to death." "ERF?", Bromus erfs, tilting his head to one side with a concerned look on his face. "I was just kidding, Bromus... " Ed says hurriedly, and mentally kicking himself for that remark. He forgets how sensitive Bromus is to these things. He had to stop the anime movie he was watching once, because, well, a lot of people were dieing in it, and that upset Bromus. "If the rains didn't come in time, it was only a minor setback. They would just wait for the next one.", Ed explains. Bromus nods in agreement with this, and relaxes again, the tip of his fuzzy tail sticking out from under the blankets and wagging slightly. Ed continues with the story, "Things were peacefull. People got along, and everyone was happy. Then..." "I like this story.", Bromus erfs happily, his tail wagging a bit faster. "Erf..", Ed erfs, giving Bromus a 'don't interrupt me' look. Bromus heeds the look, and closes his maw with a soft "clop". Ed resumes the story. "Right. Well. Erf. Okay. Everything was peacefull, yadda, yadda, and so on. But... one day an evil king came from a far away land, and built his castle atop the mountain, overlooking the peacefull village. He..." "I don't like the looks of this...", Bromus interrupts again, pulling the blanket up a bit, almost over his snout. Ed gives a soft erf, and Bromus's maw closes with a "clop" again. "Now.. this Evil king was....erm... an Evil king, and he liked to do Evil kingy type things...", Ed mutters, trying to gather his thoughts. "Yeah. Thats it. Now, this Evil king one day decided that he would tax the people for their crops, with the reasoning that the land belongs to him, and the people must pay him for planting their crops on 'his' land." "Thats MEAN!", Bromus shouts, then quickly pulls the blanket over his snout, and there is a resounding "clop" sound. Ed cannot resist a smile and then continues with the story, pulling a very serious face. "Now this Evil king had really done a mean thing. The people could not pay his tax because they had always harvested the grain for themselves. The Evil king in a fit of rage, decided to take all of the childern of the village and lock them up in the dungeon of his castle until the people could find a way to pay his taxes.". Ed pauses here, waiting for some or other comment from Bromus, but notices that the weredragon is transfixed on something, somewhere 'out there', probably visualizing the whole story. Ed chuckles and continues. "Now, the people were sad. Their sons and daughters had been taken away by the Evil king and they really had no way to pay the tax that the Evil king had put in place. They were at a loss and didn't know what to do. A few days passed, and the people were getting really sad without their childern.". Bromus, who had been transfixed on something or other, suddenly let out a sniffle. "Thats sad...". the weredragon mutters, his tail not wagging anymore. Ed looks at where Miktar is sitting on the floor to his side, and notices that even the dragon is very 'involved' with his story. Ed hrms to himself, and makes a plot twist. "But then, a stranger walked into the village, also from far away lands..". Ed tells the story, pulling the smaller blanket off the bed and wrapping it around him like a cloak. He stands up from the bed and slowly walks around, continuing with his storytelling. "The stranger was....erm....strange.". Ed mentally kicks himself for his intelligence. "Nobody in the village had seen him before, and nobody knew who he was. The stranger walked up to the mayor of the village and slowly went down on one knee, the suns light glinting off a sword that the stranger carried at his side. The.." "Ooooh, a good guy!", bouncies Bromus, his tail starting to wag again. Ed gives a firm erf, and continues. "He was a paladin from a far kingdom, and he wanders the lands setting things right that are wrong. He.." "Like whats happening now! Yay!", the happy weredragon bouncies some more, but very quickly becomes calm as he sees Ed's stern look. Somewhere, somehow, Ed was expecting to hear a "clop", but he didn't. "Now, this paladin asked the mayor if anything was wrong in the village....", Ed gives Bromus a stern look before the weredragon could answer the question for him, " and the mayor told the paladin what had happened, and pointed at the Evil king's castle that loomed atop the mountain. The paladin stood up, gave a bow, and started walking towards the castle. Everyone in the village looked on, as this brave knight was sure to face death itself at the castle. Who knows what traps and beasts lurk in its...erm...lurky shadows.". Ed turns around from his acting, and sees that both Bromus and Miktar have their mouths open, hanging on anxiously to each word, waiting for the next. (Hey, this is fun. I should tell Bromus more bedtime stories), Ed thinks to himself. Regaining his knightly pose, he continues again. "The paladin knew that this would be dangerous, but he had to do what is right, even if it ment risking his own life. That is, after all, the paladin way." Ed turns around yet again, and sits down on the bed next to Bromus, who was hugging his knees, head resting on them. Maw still open. (Breath, Bromus!), Ed thinks, and resists a smile. "The clouds were dark and stormy as the paladin reached the gates of the castle. (No, must resist..) The knight looks around, and (nooo!) rings the doorbell." Ed hears Miktar give a loud guffaw, and he realizes just how silly he was. (Oh well. Might as well go with it.) "'Hello?' an evil sounding voice crackles over the intercom. (Intercom?) 'Um, yes. Are you the Evil king?' the paladin asks into the little box. 'Yes, who wants to know? If you are selling anything, I don't wany any!' the Evil king yells over the intercom. (Ed, you are loosing it.) 'Erm. No. Im not selling anything. Im a paladin. Im here to free the children and bring an end to your tyranny!' the paladin shouts back into the little box. 'Oh...' the evil voice mutters. 'Okay, sure. Come on in.' Suddenly, there is a buzz, and the gates opened. (Ed, you really are loosing it.) The paladin slowly walks past the gates into the garden of the castle, and the gates close behind him." Taking a breath, Ed looks around and sees Bromus still very 'involved' with ths story, but Miktar, on the other hand, has a wry smile on his face, and a look of 'Ed, you are loosing it'. "Right. Where was I. Oh yes. The paladin was now in the garden of the Evil king's castle. Who knows what horrors lurk here? The paladin unsheaths his sword (must not laugh when saying 'sheath', dammit!), and carefully moves forward towards the door of the castle that sits at the far end of the garden. Suddenly, a horrible beast jumps out from behind a bush (how horrible can it be if it was hiding behind a bush? Sheesh!) and leaps at the paladin, who swiftly sidesteps the beast's attack, and plunges his sword (Erf! No violence! What to do...) into the sprinkler system! (Erf?) A gush of water, erm, gushes out and the beast, hating water, runs away yelping. (Yes!) The paladin smiles at his quick thinking and turns around, continuing his walk towards the door of the castle. Walking past a large tree (how descriptive, Ed), the paladin is alerted by a rustling noise (rustle, rustle), and quickly ducks back. A large furry beast had jumped out of the tree, and is now standing where the paladin would be if he didn't duck back. The furry beast snarles and snaps at the paladin, who (Tone it down a little, Ed.... hmmm.) quickly reaches into his backpack and pulls out a chocolit chip cookie and throws it the other way. The furry beast smells the cookie and bounds after the tasty morsel. (God, thats it. You have lost it entirely. Oh well. No sense in stopping now.) The paladin, not wanting any more close encounters of the furred kind, starts to run towards the door, ducking and diving out of the way of snarling beasts who try to pounce on him, but he is to fast for them. Clank, clankety, clank goes his armour as he sprints towards the door. Reaching the door, the paladin catches his breath. Its not easy running in full platemail. He checks his backpack and drats. That was his last chocolit chip cookie. 'You owe me!' he shouts back into the garden, but he quickly forgets about the cookie as the grey fog seems to become more dense." Ed stops a bit to catch his breath. Bromus was now fully into the story, and Ed could see the imagry dancing in the weredragon's head. Miktar was still sitting with a smile on his face, obviously analyzing Ed right now as he always does when Ed gets a little bit wierder than usual. "Right. The paladin had made it alive to the door of the gloomy castle. He quickly checks around to make sure there are no traps, then reaches for the doorknob. He quickly pulls his hand back, thinks a bit, then just touches the doorknob with his finger quickly. 'YOW!' he shouts as his finger is burned by the doorknob, which seems to be very hot. 'This is definatly an Evil king..' the paladin muses, and wraps the end of his shirt around the doorknob and turns it quickly. The door opens with a loud squeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak, then stops. The paladin peers inside, checks that everything is kosher, then steps in. The door closes behind him with a loud thud. 'Darn it! I wish doors and gates would stop doing that!' he shouts, then regains his posture and peers into the darkness of the castle. (Boo! Aaaaah! Dammit!!) Slowly, he moves from room to room, checking for any meanies. (Meanies?). The paladin finds himself now in what seems to be the kitchen of the castle, and he walks up to the refrigerator. He opens the door, and remarks 'Hey! Why is there a camera in the fridge!' Over the internal intecom system of the castle, the paladin hears the voice of the Evil king. 'Erm, sorry about that. I've started a webcam business on the side. Do you think you could do something erotic with the mayo?' The paladin smiles. 'Well, I was going to make a sandwitch.' he shouts back. 'Oh? What kind?' the Evil king asks. The paladin suddenly rips off all his platemail and shouts 'How about a MANwich baby!'". Right about now, Ed gets a poke in the rear from a certain dragon who, although finding this terribly amusing, would rather that Ed stick to the story. "Erf? Yeah. Okay. After the witty duel of sarcasm between himself and the Evil king, the paladin sets forth to finish his task of freeing the childern, and destroying the Evil king. He quickly runs back to the kitchen and puts his platemail on again, and leaves the kitchen blushing." Ed stops again to catch his breath, and to check on Bromus. The weredragon is now lying back, his head on the pillow, eyelids heavy. Ed could see that this is helping, because Bromus is not thinking so much about sleeping anymore, and that is the trick when it comes to insomnia. If you can't sleep. Don't. Do something else. Ed knows that well. Hearing a yawn from his side, he looks at Miktar who is now also very tired. "An eerie howl fills the air as the paladin creeps up a stairway." Ed continues with the story, trying not to yawn himself. "Checking behind him quickly, but finding nothing (but his rear, I guess), the palading continues up the stairs and finds (Barbara Streisand?) a door. He puts his ear to the door (what did you say?) and listens for anything. He hears (Barbara Streisand?) the laughter of the Evil king, and the paladin (ding) busts through the door. Wielding his (Barbara Striesand?) sword, he confronts the Evil king (Hey Ernie. Hey Bob.). 'I am here to end it...' the paladin says in his best paladinny voice. The Evil king, who was counting (sheep?) money, stands up and draws his own sword. (ooh, pretty picture!). The paladin charges at the Evil king, and they start dueling with the swords. (Well, what else would they duel with, taffard?). After an intense battle, the Evil king is finally (erm, can't kill him. Weredragons in the room) defeated, and he slumps to the floor. 'You are an excellent swordsmen, brave paladin. (Yadda, yadda...). 'I admit defeat', the Evil king says. 'I hope you have learned a lesson from this, Evil king. Now begone (forsooth!), and never show thy Evil kingly face in this land again!' the paladin shouts, and the Evil king leaves the room. 'Oh, and try not to be Evil anywhere else, okay! Or I will have to come and kick your butt again!' the paladin shouts after the Evil king." Ed lets out a yawn, and suddenly feels Miktar poking him in the side. "Erf?" he asks, and Miktar points to Bromus, who is now happily sleeping, letting out a content purr. Ed smiles, and helps Miktar up from the floor. They leave the room and Ed slowly closes the door. Walking over to the couch, Ed and Miktar flop down on it and Ed leans against Miktar. "What time is it?" he asks, yawning again. "Its... 4am.", Miktar erfs, and gently puts his arm around Ed. "God, its almost to late to go to sleep. But lets try anyway...", Ed remarks, and lies down on Miktar's lap. It only took 4 seconds, and he was asleep. Miktar, myrring softly, lowers his head and falls asleep. Suddenly Ed is awoken by a soft prod in his side. "Bromus? Whats wrong?" Ed mutters, blinking. "Erm, Ed? What happend to the childern?"