Quetza's Quest
Written by QuetzaDrake(of course)

WARNING!: The following story will, at points, contain some violent content, some sort of slapstick comedy and hilarity, a few curse words, and sexual content. This particular section of the story contains some sort of gelatin tentacle monster, inflation, and more hyperphallicism. 
So, basically, if you find this story, and you're seriously not a fan of mine or someone like me, you're gonna probably want to stay clear. Just sayin'. I don't want any bible-humpers on my case. You got your own Bible-fetish sites, and I suggest you stick to them. Kay, that's it.

Chapter 2: Arriving at the Second Task Place

	Last time, on Quetzaball Z, Quetza had escaped the curse of the infinite spooge and had won the Breastplate of Invulnerability +7 from the depths of the Ice Cavern. We join our hero as he canoes mindlessly down the canals north of the Golgi Volcano. Oh, and in case you haven't picked it up yet, this is a giant Final Fantasy 1 reference.
	“Boy, that first task sure was difficult! I mean, I almost lost it there. I would've been stuck down there, penis growing and pumping out cum like some kind of...pump. I mean, don't get me wrong, it would've been great, but I've got a mission!” stated Quetza to no one in particular. Perhaps the oar, but I'm sure the oar wouldn't understand Quetza, as it could only speak German.
	“Entschuldigen Sie mich, Quetza, aber wo wir gehend sind?!” shouted the oar. The German language had always frightened Quetza, so the abrupt  spouting of it startled Quetza; he threw the oar into the river. The oar angrily shouted German profanities as it drifted away.
	It took Quetza 2.6572 seconds to figure out his folly. “Oh crap, now I'm gonna drift down this river aimlessly!” he groaned, but then suddenly the canoe began to rock from side to side harshly, causing Quetza to grip the sides of the small watercraft. He looked ahead and saw that the water was quickly turning into a torrent. “Oh no, rapids!” yelled Quetza as he braced himself, beginning to spin around and around, rocking from side to side, up and down up and down... The water suddenly turned a slight brownish-red color as Quetza lost that delicious pie he ate before Chapter 1 forever in the depths of the river.
	As Quetza continued to ride the rapids, he looked ahead and saw another catastrophe ahead. “Oh no, crags in the river!” Quetza yelled, attempting to steer by feebly smacking the water. The canoe collided into rocks jutting out of the water, sending Quetza vaulting about more severely than just the rapids alone. ... Oops, there goes the Dragon Chow.
	Quetza, quite dazed, groaned again as the rocks vanished under the horizon behind him. However, another danger laid straight ahead. “Aaaah, river cacti!” Quetza cried out, attempting once again to steer with his hand. Bad idea. Quetza nursed the wounds for a moment after the cacti had passed, plucking the needles from between his scales. “Ow...ow...ow, at least, ow, the worst of it is over.”
	Quetza had spoken too soon, however, as the task that laid ahead of him was far worse than those behind him combined. “Oh god, no! NO! Not Dora the Explorer! AAAAIIEEEE!!” She rose from the depths, a giant among educational cartoons. Quetza attempted to shield himself from the horror, raising his arms to cover his face. Unfortunately, the sheer power of the terrible traveling toddler easily penetrated Quetza's weak defense.
	“HOLA!!!” the monster screeched as its eyes began to glow red. Lasers fired from her pupils at Quetza, the water to his right exploding up and over into his canoe. Quetza gripped the sides of the damaged boat, sputtering as Dora charged for another assault. Quetza knew that something must be done, or surely he would be dead!
	Luckily, Quetza always kept a Remington under the seat. Quetza dove down and grabbed the rifle, then quickly regained his position. He grabbed the sides of the canoe, gun in lap, and leaned as Dora fired her laser eyes once more. Quetza barely dodged the blast, water flying everywhere. A barrage of lasers rained down upon Quetza, but his reflexes were sharp, and his movement was agile. Once Dora was forced to recharge her death rays, Quetza stood and cocked the gun.
	“Take this, you hell spawn!” A blast to her chest caused an inhuman yowl of pain. “Die, damn you! YAAAAH!” Quetza continued fire, the beast buckling and twisting its monstrous body about in agony. “This'll learn ya to teach Spanish to unsuspecting children! Being bilingual should be a choice!” Quetza screamed as he took out Dora's knee. The she monster howled and tried firing at Quetza, but completely missed, hitting a nearby mountain. The rock burst apart, flying about and down onto the cartoon beast. Quetza paddled between the monster's legs just as the rocks began to bury her.
	As Quetza zoomed onward, he looked back as the final rock carelessly tumbled down onto the top of the pile of boulders that had ended the menace once and for all...
	“Phew, that was close by gum.” Quetza wiped the sweat from his forehead, chucking the ammo-less gun into the water. He sat down and exhaled deeply. “Glad that's over. Huh? What's that?” Quetza pondered as something came into view...

***

	Quetza's canoe drifted onto the shore. He exited the vessel and gazed at the sight before him. A truly magnificent castle cast a shadow over the dragon. “Wow, that's some house. I wonder if they get cable.” He then noticed a rather long line of people leading up to the castle gates. Quetza meandered over to the last person in line, some wolf or something in a beret. Quetza tapped his shoulder. The wolf looked back at him, and Quetza looked at him.
	After a moment, the wolf blinked. Quetza gave a hearty 'HAH' and grinned. “I win, you blunked!” The wolf stared at Quetza cock-eyed, confused by this odd stranger.
	“Uh...first off, it's blinked. Second, we weren't having a staring contest. Third, what do you want?” The wolf replied to the dragon's victory dance.
	“Well, I was wondering what this line is for, actually,” said Quetza.
	“Not from around here, eh? I can tell. This line is for those who want to compete in the Trials hosted by King George III!” the wolf proudly stated.
	“King George I-I-I? What a silly name!” Quetza scoffed. After a moment, he came to a revelation. “Wait a second! Trials? Would these trials be the Trials of Don't Get Killed?” Quetza asked.
	“That's right! And the prize is the king's daughter's hand in marriage!” the wolf reached behind him and magically pulled out a parchment. On the parchment was a picture of an incredibly beautiful wolf girl, looking quite stunning in that see-through gown.
	“Wow, she's hot.”
	“Damn straight, and that's why I'm gonna win, and I'm gonna get her as my wife!”
	“Huh. Well, I'll compete, too!” Quetza replied with a grin.
	“What? You?? Pfft, right, and I'm the President of Argentina! My grandmother would have a better--!”
	A cough interrupted the two's conversation. They turned towards the noise and found themselves at the castle's gates. The long line of people ahead of them had mysteriously vanished, and they hadn't even noticed that they were next.
	A guard stood there, apparently the one who had coughed to grab the two's attention. “Excuse me, but you're next, sir.” The wolf grinned and turned to Quetza. “See you inside, cretin! That princess is mine!” He laughed and walked inside the gates.
	“Okay, see you later, Mr. President!” Quetza smiled and waved goodbye to his new friend. The guard yawned and held a spear in front of Quetza. Quetza twiddled his thumbs for a moment before the guard lifted his spear.
	“Alright, that guy should be dead by now, go on in.” the guard plainly stated. Quetza blinked and cocked his head slightly, but decided to not concern himself. He shrugged and casually walked through the gates.
	Quetza walked down the extravagant hall, whistling to himself, looking about at the décor, when suddenly the room turned pitch black. Quetza halted in his tracks as everything vanished from his vision.
	“Ack! I'm blind! BLIND! Now I'll never realize my dream of being a famous international race car driver and playboy!” Quetza dropped to his knees and outstretched his arms upwards, cursing the gods, when suddenly the lights came back on. Unfortunately for Quetza, a light was directly above him.
	An incredibly-girlish scream echoed throughout the castle as Quetza's pupils exploded. He fell to the ground, writhing and thrashing in pain, clutching his charred eyeballs. “OH GOD, IT BURNS, IT BURNS US!!”
	After a few moments of recovery and sobbing, Quetza regained his composure and vision. Unfortunately, the poor lad looked down and found no floor beneath him. In a positively-cartoonish way, Quetza looked to the audience, made a little pathetic freaked-out face, then plummeted through the hole.
	“AAAAAHI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEWHYMEWHYMEOHGODOHGODOH--” Quetza's screaming was halted suddenly when he landed on top of something soft. He blinked a few times, looking from side to side, noticing that he was not dead, which was a good sign.
	“Well, that's a relief! Now to look down to see what I'm on top of.” Quetza absent-mindedly tilted his head down to see what had broken his fall. He wish he hadn't.

***

Chapter 3: The Jell-o Monster

	Quetza appeared to have found himself on top of some gelatinous mass, green in color. It was not slimy or rough, but jiggly and smooth. “It's like Jell-o!” Quetza exclaimed. He ran his finger across the surface of the thing and put it in his mouth. He smacked his lips for a moment, then gasped. “Watermelon!”
	He attempted standing up, but the thing under him was far too liquid for Quetza to get balance. He plopped back down onto his rear, then was lifted into the air from the recoil. Quetza scratched his head, trying to think of what to do here.
	Suddenly, Quetza heard some sort of noise coming from the distance. Curious, Quetza crawled over towards the source to the edge of whatever he was on. He gasped in terror at the sight under him. “Good lord!”
	There were men from the line among it all, all thrashing about in pain. It looked as though they were all naked, and hovering in the air. Upon closer inspection, Quetza saw that tentacles made of the green gelatin he was now sitting upon were invading the orifices of the poor men. Pumping in and out, in and out, the men were incapable of screaming for help as the tentacles raped the hell out of them. But that wasn't even the worst of it.
	Quetza saw that the men's stomachs were slowly inflating larger! Their midsections slowly bloated outwards as more and more of the Jell-o filled them. Quetza nearly barfed for the third time today as he also noticed that guts and blood mixed with green were splattered all across the floor. 
	“This is awful! I've got to do something!” Quetza whispered, keeping back his bile. Suddenly he heard something different: the sounds of fighting. He looked down once again and saw a figure unaffected by the tentacles! Quetza squinted his eyes and saw that it was his friend, the President of Argentina!
	“Take this, you vile monster! HYAH!” The wolf in the beret sliced through a tentacle with a blade, the gelatinous appendage dropping to the floor as the attached half retreated. Unfortunately, two more took its place. One reared back and slammed into the wolf's face, sending him reeling backward. He quickly regained his composure, however, and slashed through two tentacles attempting to enter his tailhole.
	“You'll never get me, you vile creature! HAH HAH!” Another two slashes cut down a rather large tentacle. The President jumped into the air and somersaulted over an array of whipping tentacles.
	Quetza found himself thrilled with the stunning fight below him, smiling openly and wagging his tail. He beat his fist against the mass below him, then shouted, “YEAH! YOU GO, MR. PRESIDENT! YOU KICK THIS THING'S ASS!!”
	The wolf, startled by the sudden cry, looked up at Quetza. “What the hell?! What're you doing up there, you idiot!?! Get down from th--!!” The wolf was interrupted as a tentacle cracked him in the cheek. Another rammed into his stomach, causing the lupine to lose his breath and drop his sword. He collapsed, clutching his chest as he attempted to breath.
	“Uh...oops.” Quetza gulped as tentacles surrounded the wolf. Tentacles ripped off his clothing, exposing his naked body. The wolf still couldn't breath well, when suddenly a tentacle flew up into his tailhole. He gasped, his diaphragm quickly recovering. He howled in pain as the tentacle continued its ascent, but it was quickly interrupted by another tentacle jamming itself down his throat.
	“Crap, what have I done?! I've got to help him!!” Quetza looked about frantically, trying to think of what to do to save his friend. A lightbulb popped over his head as he formulated an idea. Quetza grabbed the lightbulb, smashed it against his breastplate, and stabbed the creature below him with the still-hot broken glass.
	A monstrous, inhuman groan filled the room, and the mass under Quetza quiverred violently. Quetza flailed his arms around and yelped as he quickly lost his balance. He tumbled down the gelatin monster. “EEEEE!!” Quetza shrieked as he rolled down the bouncy mountain, rolling along the ground as he hit it and colliding with the nearby wall.
	After a moment, Quetza was back on his feet and ready to kick some ass. Unfortunately, the monster was all too ready to kick his ass, too. Tentacles flailed about wildly around Quetza, the monster growling and bubbling with rage.
	“Uh, uh, uh...” Quetza swiveled his head around quickly. He then saw his friend close by, still getting raped by the tentacle monster. His belly now looked pregnant, filled to the brim with gelatinous goo and still growing larger. The wolf moaned through the tentacle in his muzzle, clenching his eyes.
	“Don't worry, Mr. President, I'll save you!” Quetza cried to him, “Alright, Quetza, you can do this! It is time to be a man!” He puffed up his chest with a deep breath, lifted his elbow up, clenched his fists, and gritted his teeth. He then proceeded to run like a little sissy away, screaming as he barely dodged tentacles slamming down and around him.
	Quetza managed to evade the tentacles and reach the wolf, whose gut now protruded out two feet and down to his knees. “I'll save you, Mr. President!” Quetza yelled at the wolf before grasping the sword at his feet and slashing through the tentacles invading the President's holes.
	The tentacles seemed to shriek as they retreated back, the wolf landing on the ground, his large stomach jiggling. The wolf swallowed what was left in his mouth and groaned loudly, clutching his gut.
	Quetza, seeing his friend safe from the fate of explosion, faced the giant monster. He pointed the blade at the creature, and began a heroic monologue.
	“Hear me, evil spawn of hell! You will no longer get your jollies from blowing up innocent people with your delicious watermelon-flavored goo! So help me I will render you apart like some sort of renderable--!” A tentacle smacked the sword out of Quetza's hand. Quetza halted his speech and looked at the fallen weapon, then at the tentacles about him. His eyes widened and his mouth drooped. “Oh crap.”
	 Quetza gave out a shrill cry of terror as tentacles swarmed upon him. He swatted at them feebly, knocking them away for a second before they returned to try again. He sobbed pathetically as he smacked at the incoming tentacles. “Wah-hah-hah-hah-haaaaah!! I'm gonna diiiieee!!” Quetza cried as the tentacles kept coming at him, getting closer to his orifices with every attempt.
	Suddenly, the tentacles quivered and recoiled back. Quetza blinked as he became boggled at what just happened. He looked back and saw his friend the wolf gasping for air, holding the sword, dripping with Jell-o, with one hand and his huge gut with the other.
	“Mr. President! Thank the gods you're alright!” Quetza happily cried.
	“I'm not the goddamn President of Argentina, alright?! That was sarcasm, you stupid, stupid idiot!”
	“Oh.”
	“Yeah, that's right 'oh'. Now think, stupid. How are we supposed to beat that monster when weapons are useless against it?!”
	“Um...hmm...jeez, this is tough one.” Quetza rubbed his chin, perplexed. A tentacle rose up from behind Quetza and prepared to charge into his tailhole. The wolf reared back and chucked the sword over Quetza's head, slicing through the tentacle and implanting itself into the creature. The sword stuck there for a moment before it was sucked into the monster, vanishing in its depths.
	“Damnit! Now what do we do?!” The wolf suddenly groaned and leaned against the wall, clutching his huge stomach. Apparently there was some indigestion.
	Meanwhile, Quetza was oblivious to what was around him, concentrating on coming up with some way of defeating this thing. Then it happened. The idea hit him like sack full of doorknobs.
	“Duh! Of course!” Quetza turned to the wolf, “I'll just eat my way into it and eat the core!”
	“Bobby, and what core?!” The wolf yelled at Quetza.
	“There's always a core thingy that controls gelatinous creatures. Haven't you ever played Mega Man?” Quetza scoffed.
	“Are you flipping insane?! It'll take forever to get to any core, if you can even find it! You'll explode before you get to it!”
	“Do not underestimate me, Bobby, for I am a master of Eat Fu.” Quetza turned to the blob, squinting his eyes in seriousness. He tied a headband on his forehead, then a bib around his neck. He drew his trusty spork and knife and twirled them on his fingers.
	“Alright, gelatin monster. Let's dance.” Quetza yelled and lept into the air, flying at the creature. Tentacles flew up and at Quetza. Quetza counterattacked by opening his maw and chomping down on the tentacles as they approached, destroying them.
	“YAAAAR!!!” Quetza careened and collided with the gelatinous blob, jamming the spork and knife into its skin. He tore his muzzle into its hide, tearing the goo apart with his fangs. He swallowed the goo whole, practically sucking it down his throat. Each jab of utensil and fang caused the monster to shriek in terror. Its tentacles flailed about, trying to swat the annoying thing off.
	Quetza dug further into the creature's body, gobbling up every morsel of gelatin he could fit in his mouth. His stomach began to bloat outward, filling out from the Jell-o, yet Quetza continued digging down into the creature.
	Bobby looked at the event in awe, stunned at what the moron was doing. “This plan won't work. The idiot'll end up exploding! I've gotta figure this one out myself...” He groaned again and plopped down on his butt, his stomach growling and sloshing about. “Wha-What's going...uuugh!” He gritted his teeth as his stomach suddenly began to violently shake.
	Quetza, meanwhile, had found himself lost inside the monster. His gut was now about half the size of Bobby's. “Okay, now, I think I've been going at a 25 degree angle from where I entered, so the core has to be...eeny meeny miney that way!” Quetza resumed his frenzy, jabbing the insides of the monster with tooth and tool.
	Bobby was terrified at what was happening to him. It appeared that the gelatin inside of him was still alive! Even more shocking that it was literally moving itself inside of him! Not only that, but it was all moving down into his crotch region! His sac was beginning to grow as more of the gelatin transferred itself down into his scrotum. He moaned slightly; the feeling was actually quite euphoric, but he knew in the back of his head that this was not only bad, but VERY bad.
	Quetza continued on his merry way, devouring more and more of the Jell-o monster, his gut increasing in size, pushing past what Bobby's was when Quetza began his feeding frenzy. While this did slow him down, his stomach did manage to keep the tunnel behind him open. Quetza was beginning to feel full, but he knew he must go on! That's when he spotted a differently-colored object under him.
	“That must be it!” Quetza, with renewed vigor, headed straight down.
	Bobby's gut was nearly gone, but something else attached to him was incredibly bloated now. His balls stretched to his ankles and was level with his chest. He groaned at the pressure as it increased more and more. He knew that he wouldn't be able to hold it back when the time came.
	Quetza looked upon the large, black orb, floating above it, suspended in the goo. Quetza smirked and dove straight down, mouth open wide.
	Bobby panted, tongue rolled out as was custom with canines, as his balls pulsated. He gritted his teeth, groaning and moaning as the moment came.
	Quetza held his mouth, which was now aching. Apparently he hadn't counted on the core being solid as diamond. Quetza didn't really know what to do now. Suddenly, Quetza thought he heard some noise from outside the monster. He peered through the translucent jell-o, and saw some sort of mass thrashing about.
	“Bobby? What's he doing??” Quetza asked to himself.
	Bobby howled in ecstasy as wave after wave of liquid pumped out of his penis. The sheer pressure of it all coming out at once actually forced his cock to grow as well. He shot gallon after gallon, his balls only slowly reducing in size. For a moment, he regained some sort of composure, and was horrified to find that he was not cumming cum, but the jell-o that had been inside him. Soon, however, the feeling of terror was shoved away by the much-better feeling of orgasm.
	Quetza was puzzled, but then suddenly felt the monster quake about as it seemed to regain strength. He climbed back up and looked at his tunnel. It was closing, and fast! If he didn't act fast, surely he would be trapped and crushed! He had to think quickly. Unfortunately, thinking quickly was not Quetza's strong suit.
	Bobby whined and let out a long moan as more and more of the gelatin sprang forth from his urethra. He had noticed briefly that the goo was merging back with the monster, and the hole Quetza had entered was closing. Yet, there was nothing he could do; he was absolutely paralyzed from the pressure and pleasure.
	Quetza suddenly thought of an idea! “Duh, I can breathe fire! I'll just roast this thing!” Quetza inhaled sharply, then let loose a spray of fire in the general direction of the rockhard core. The entire mass of jell-o quaked and a ear-shattering screech nearly defeaned poor Quetza. Quetza kept up his barrage of flame despite this, but the pain in his ears was getting to him.
	Then, after a moment, the shrieking stopped. Quetza coughed as the last bit of fire escaped his mouth. “Ugh, that always leaves a hickory-smoked aftertaste in the back of my tounge...” Quetza lapped up some non-charred watermelon goo. “Ah, much better!”
	Suddenly, the gelatin monster lost its form and collapsed, turning to liquid. Quetza tumbled around in the waves as they spread out across the room. He smacked into the wall and shouted muffled curse words, holding his bruised nose. The green liquid eventually calmed, and the room was left with a waist-high sea of watermelon water.
	Quetza sputtered as he sprung up from under the liquid, coughing and rubbing his eyes. “Oof...well, that sucked. But I did it! See, Bobby? I told you I could do it!...Bobby?”
	Quetza looked around the room, puzzled. He saw the crispy remains of the core, a giant white X on it. Apparently it had an eye, and that was it. Quetza continued scanning the room, then saw an unconcious, naked Bobby propped against the wall. His gut was gone.
	“Huh, I guess maybe he scared himself out cold.” Quetza stood up, then found that his gut was gone as well. His butt also kind of hurt and felt wet. “I guess it all turned into liquid...and I guess it all came out. Gross.”
	Quetza ran over to Bobby and kneeled beside him. “Bobby?” He poked him. “Boooobby..” He shook him by the shoulders. “Bobby!” Quetza smacked him across the face a few times before Bobby coughed and sputtered out some loose former-goo.
	“Ow, damnit, why did you smack me?!” the wolf angrily shouted at him.
	“To get you awake.”	
	“You didn't have to freaking smack so damn hard!”
	“Well, you're lucky I didn't get to my next idea.” Quetza threw away the crowbar.
	“Ugh...so, what happened? I was...uh...preoccupied with something.” Bobby questioned.
	“Why, he defeated the Jell-o monster, the first to do so in 200 years!”
	The two looked around for the source of the new voice.
	“Up here, old chaps!” The two looked up and saw that a section of wall had opened up to reveal a passageway. An old man in a tuxedo stood there at the edge and waved at the two boys.
	“Hello! If you'll climb up here and follow me, I'll take you chaps to get cleaned up for your audience with the king!”

***

To be continued...

Send comments and criticisms to quetzadrake@yahoo.com! All characters are copyright to me! Thanks!