This poem is a collection of smaller poems written while in a hospital to cure
my depression.  I hope you enjoy it...


Climb from Madness
By Rose de Stitches
rosestitches@crosswinds.net

Why?
I ask myself
Why am I here?
why are any of us here?
They pump us full of drugs
Feed us -JUST- enough to survive
To keep us meek and doctile
Some yell and fight back
Only to be quieted
Silenced thru gags and drugs
I sit quietly
Let the drugs overcome me
Have I sold out?
No, just accepted facts
They want me to be this
So I'll be it
I watch the others
Some like me
Others fighting until the end
They are braver than I

-

Come on!
It's smoke break time...
Time to get our fix
They herd us up
Give us out nicotine
Herd us to a cage
And we smoke
Smoke
Two each break
I give cigs to others
Those without some
And they smile
Happy for that little relief
Then
It's over
Time to go back in
To wait until next time

-

Do they hate jews?
How many times
Over and over
Must I tell them
I don't eat Pork?
Every day I tell them
And every day
They still give it to me
Is it so much to ask
To -NOT- be given it?

-

Rules
Don't do this
Don't do that
Listen to them
Behave yourself
Follow the rules

-

Tim started screaming
Stomping
Yelling out loud
Then the others started
Screaming
Reveling in their madness
I was just sad
Why put me here
Please let the meds kick in
The other patients scare me

-

Will
He's an odd one
Truly insane
Or truly a genius
Sometimes
He rants for hours
Going on about nothing
Other times
His clarity almost frightens me

-

Spano DeMarco
With a 'C' not a 'K'
He's quiet
Composed
Yet in those eyes
I can tell he knows pain
That he has been hurt
And he's going to share that pain
By killing again

-

James
In his wheelchair
Broken
Sad and alone
He takes his pain out on others
Scamming
Scheming
Stealing
Hurting us
To cover his own pain

-

Edward
He's nice
He sits down
Talks to you
Gives you cigs
Helps you out
And only asks
For a suckle
A hole to fuck
Like I said
A nice guy

-

The doctors
They sit around
Discuss us
Chat about life
The latest case
Who does what
And how to help
Coffee fuels ideas
As they talk
Trying to care for us
May they succeed

-

There was a barbeque
A cookout
For another ward
We couldn't go out to our cage
Instead
We sit on cold concrete
In closed quarters
Cramped
The break seemed shorter
But what do I know

-

What pleasure do I get?
Hidden
Under the covers
Trying to keep quiet
Nervous
someone might come in
Catch me red-handed
Literally
It hightens the feeling
Makes me scared
Yet excited
I shoot off
Explode
And gasp
Exausted
Relieved I wasn't caught

-

I get to go home
Back to college
I found out today
And I'm happy
Overjoyed
Excited
No one knows where I am
Will I tell them?
I don't know

-

I feel the pull
The internet
She calls me
My MUCKs
My friends
And I wonder
Have they missed me?
Will they even care?

-

'Now I lay me down to sleep...'
Last night here
I feel
Glad
Peaceful and safe
Soon
Soon I'll be home
And this nightmare
Will be over

-

Mom called
The doctor
Went behind my back
Worried her
Made her cry
She wants me home
What's home?
Meds
Family
I let them down
Should I go?
No more internet
No more life
All my friends here
The shul
No more
Why?
Why did they do it?
Worrying my mother
They call it 'helping'
And they wonder
Why I dislike
Doctors

-

Home
Relief
Safe
The journey
Is finished