GAS.TXT - February 17, 2003

Just some musings on flatulence and what others might think of it.

Jack looked nervously around. The bus was full of creatures - some clothed,
some not - But all polite to the Human who somehow made his way to an empty
spot. Near a window, Thank Goodness. Jack was still trying to get used to the
water and food and it was upsetting his digestive system something Fierce.. His
stomach rumbled, he had cramps and.. *Blat* Gas. Fortunately, most of it was
blown away.. but not before a few noses wrinkled. Another blast brought color
to his face and some more twitching noses. But nobody turned or stared at him,
although comments were made in as many languages as there were species.

He did get noticed by a wolf. A sexy Male wolf.. Oh Gods to be propositioned
his first day. What was he going to say? No thanks, I prefer Humans? Or I
prefer females? No one told him what to do in situations like this.. he sweated
up a storm, but somehow managed to live through the experience, getting his
rear squeezed and a bottle of pills put in his hand.. 

'For the Gas,' he was told.

When he got to work he told a friend about what had happened..

"He was very helpful."

"I bet he was. Did he squeeze your butt?"

"I.. I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Relax.. He wasn't interested in you for sex -"

"Good."

"He was interested in you for meat."

"Wha?!?"

"He is a professional Predator. He was asking after your health so if you
needed to be put down he could do his Job. And don't stare at the pills -
Poison isn't allowed. They are just what he said they were - something to help
you cope.. After all, tainted meat makes Everyone sick."

"Gee, Thanks."

"Get used to it. 'People' die here, same as everywhere else.. They are just not
so hung-up on it."

                                  * * * *

The same wolf was on the bus. He wore a vest and nothing else. "How are you
feeling?" The same manner, the same words, but Now Jack understood they were a
professional curtesy, as was the hand gripping his rear, testing it the way a
Rancher looks over a steer - Too skinny? Feed it more. Too fat? Work it a
little more. Jack managed a grin, trying hard not to shake.

"You have my card - Call me if you need me." And then he was gone.. Probably
after some other piece of - Prey.

The End