November 28^th, 1996: Thanksgiving was a few days ago, of course. It wasn\x92t too big of an event. Dad\x92s in Ottawa, with his new family, not wanting to see us ever again. Mom got drunk off her ass again this year. Ron, my brother, simply ate then went to stay in his room. Ashley and Michael were with their families and didn\x92t even call me. Maria, my girlfriend, called, but she didn\x92t talk with me for long. 5 minutes. I seem destined to be unhappy all the time.

December 1^st, 1996: Mom got drunk again, slapped me a few times, called me worthless and lazy and that I deserve nothing. Considering how my life is, I begin to wonder if maybe she\x92s right.

December 4^th, 1996: Damn it, damn it, damn it! Maria broke up with me. Why? Things were going so well between us, but she said that she was no longer satisfied with the relationship and that she felt too constricted. Damn it, what did I do to make her do this? Maybe Mom was right. Maybe I don\x92t deserve anything.

December 6^th, 1996: I see the insects crawling in the apartment, and I empathize with them. Poor things, nothing lasts long for them, and any happiness they may have is fleeting. And only those like them like them at all. I sometimes hate sharing so much with the crawling beasts.

December 18^th, 1996: Holy shit! I saw something on CNN about this real life dragon! Apparently some guy who had thought he was a dragon became one. And others are doing the same thing. God, I hope that sort of thing doesn\x92t happen to me. Instead of a majestic dragon, I\x92d be some sort of ugly, hopeless monster.

December 20^th, 1996: I\x92ve heard more and more reports of people turning into things. I\x92m starting to think that perhaps I\x92ll do the same. I hope not. I\x92ll just be a beast.

January 5^th, 1997: It\x92s been several days, now, since my transformation. It is quite horrid, turning into a giant roach-man. I\x92ve kept some of my humanity, but not much. I have 6 limbs now, 4 of them on the ground. My arms have stretched into 4-and-a-half foot long monstrosities. They are thin tubes with joints in them, they look like those small PVC pipes. My hands, by god, they are terrible. They\x92ve elongated to about a foot long, and end with 3 flexible claws with 2 other claws below them, facing the opposite way. I can grab things, but I have no manual dexterity. And, I have wings now. Not those majestic wings of the dragons, oh no, but vestigial, ugly things. They are veined, fragile things that flap about pathetically when I try to fly. My face, it doesn\x92t even look remotely like something from Phylum Chordata. It\x92s like a giant oval, with a pair of 3-foot long antenna bursting out of the middle of my face, and two giant eyes on the sides of my head, wrapping upwards, covering the entire sides of my face. They are all black, too, not showing a hint of emotion. And my sight has been all fucked up, I can see ultraviolet now, I think, along with normal light. But, my vision isn\x92t too good beyond about 40 feet, but I can focus on damn near everything. My jaws are these weird cutting things now, like a pair of paring shears and a bunch of other stuff lodged way up in it. And, I have this damn compulsion to run my antenna through my mouth every hour or so. And, gods, my ears are behind my legs. And I can barely hear either. I can detect patterns well, but I can\x92t hear what people say too well. Damn it, why did this happen to me?

January 21^st, 1997: I didn\x92t attend "The Meeting", but I heard it was quite a success. Yeah, right, I\x92m still looked at by everyone as a damned freak, even other therianthropes. I\x92m shunned everywhere I go, and I can\x92t, for the damnedest reason, change back. Only my best two friends and my brother actually care about me anymore. They have to support me now, no place is going to hire me. Last time I went to a bookstore and glanced through a book, the clerk forced me to buy, saying I was diseased and would harm his customers with my filth. Kind of ironic that this book was "The Metamorphosis." (damn it\x92s hard to use a typewriter with these hands) I can\x92t even wear clothes now. All I have is a trench coat and wide brim hat, but, even those don\x92t conceal me all that well. Difficult to hide 4 ft. long arms and 3 ft. long antenna, as well as 4 legs and giant abdomen.

February 14^th, 1997: Ah, Valentine\x92s Day, the day when everyone gets together with their special someone and does all those lovey things together. I hate this damned day. My friends and brother are all out with their girlfriends (boyfriend in Ashley\x92s case). God damn, I feel alone.

February 19^th, 1997: I was assaulted today. Well, I got into a fight. Some prick just decided to start whaling on me. The bastard almost broke my arm. I did manage to almost bite off a finger, though. Hopefully he won\x92t call the police\x85

February 21^st, 1997: I\x92ve been arrested for assaulting a man.

February 22^nd, 1997: My public defender is a lowlife who refuses to do anything for my case, stating in my face that he\x92d like to see me lose. I told the judge this, but he simply shrugged his shoulders and said he was the only one available. The media is making me out to be some sort of terrible monster out to kill all of mankind\x85

February 24^th, 1997: All I\x92ve read about in the newspapers is "Vile Roach-Man Attacks Innocent Citizen!" or something like that. The town\x92s been inundated with a flood of reporters and people from CNN. Every time I go to or from court, I get assaulted by reporters. Luckily, the ACLU has heard about this and has actually gotten several attorneys to help me out. The lawyers are even working pro bono!

February 26^th, 1997: Apparently the guy that\x92s trying to get me convicted has fled the state. He has a few arrest warrants in Texas. For assault, no less.

February 28^th, 1997: The police department is very antsy right now. All sorts of liberal groups are pointing out similar sort of stuff that the police department has done in the past. Mostly some therianthrope incidents, but also minority ones.

March 2^nd, 1997: Ha! I\x92ve been let off because the guy isn\x92t here to testify and the police department doesn\x92t want some federal investigation of this sort of thing. The media has been hellish, though. Saying that I\x92ve just gotten off on a "technicality," yeah, sure, technicality. The bunch of assholes\x85

March 21^st, 1998: Sorry I haven\x92t written in over a year, it just sort of slipped my mind. The exposure of the media of me being a monster left me pretty depressed, hell, I\x92m still depressed. I\x92m starting to wonder if I deserve this.

March 28^th, 1998: I\x92ve tried to find a more therianthrope filled community, but even there I get odd looks and harassment. I\x92ve heard all sorts of stuff about theris being so kind and nice to those who are different. I suppose it\x92s only if you still have a backbone. Bunch of assholes.

April 11^th, 1998: Finally have a new home. My brother had to buy it for me, though. The people selling the home refused to sell it to a \x91filthy bug\x92. Jonathan, Ashley\x92s boyfriend, has decreed to her that she either abandons me or continues to go out with him. She decided to go with Jon. Seems that almost no one loves me. I can\x92t even cry, despite my hurt. What\x92d I ever due to deserve this horrible fate?

April 15^th, 1998: This is my fifth damn jaywalking ticket. I was behind a group of about 4 other people, just coming home after grabbing a bottle of honey and a 6 pack of Mountain Dew from the grocery store, and this cop comes up behind me, taps me on the shoulder, and tells me I was just jaywalking and I have to pay off the damn ticket. I pointed to all the people in front of me and asked him why he didn\x92t ticket them too. He said that if I kept up that sort of talk, I was going to get a ticket for obstructing justice. What bullshit.

April 23^rd, 1998: I\x92ve finally learned to stay indoors. No one wants me out there, so I stay in. I\x92ve just been playing Playstation for the past week or so. Luckily Ron, my brother, is taking care of me. I can tell he wants to live on his own, though. I\x92m starting to feel like such a burden. Maybe I do deserve this now.

April 30^th, 1998: Still not much going on. Not much happens when you sit in your room staring at everything that your eyes can focus on and drinking a bunch of sugary water. I\x92m not even having Ron buy any pop anymore. Sugar and water suffice. My brother has become increasingly annoyed with me, demanding I find a job.

May 4^th, 1998: Well, I got a job. Night janitor at a factory. They make a lot of electronic stuff. By electronic stuff, I mean fuses and power cords and stuff like that. I don\x92t actually clean the factory, just the offices. I make okay money, I guess. $6.50 an hour and I work 6 hours, from 10 until 4. Fits my schedule just fine.

May 18^th, 1998: I can keep a job, apparently. At least, I can keep this one. My first paycheck, and I have received an enormous $415. I\x92m giving $100 to Ron, for him letting me live in his house, I\x92m going to put $215 in the bank. The remaining $100 I\x92m going to buy a few cd\x92s with as well Gran Turismo, it just came out! It\x92s a racing type game. Hopefully it won\x92t be too difficult. I\x92ve gotten quite proficient with the controller, despite my hands being almost exactly the wrong design to use it.

May 23^rd, 1998: I finally have Gran Turismo. It is quite a fun game. I like how it uses the analog controller, makes it that much easier for me. Michael and I play it a lot. He thinks he\x92s good, but I always kick his ass. Ron, though, just plain sucks. However, yesterday night at work wasn\x92t anywhere near as fun. Irene, a secretary, was working late. As soon as she saw me, she said she doesn\x92t want me cleaning up her cubicle, she says I\x92ll end up infecting her. Stupid bitch, I wear a fucking uniform and bathe daily. I\x92m probably cleaner then her. Damn idiots, I hate them.

June 2^nd, 1998: As I was strolling to work, I saw something quite unusual. It was another therianthrope. Yeah, yeah, not all that unusual, but this one was another insect. He was rooting around in a dumpster, looking for food. He was some sort of beetle, though. His wing cover was metallic green, and his face had these great huge mandibles on them. And the rest of his face was freaky looking too: his eyes looked like these big, gaudy yellowish gems, his mouth retained a more human part to it, in that he still sort of had these human like jaws between those mandibles, and I could see some weird teethlike things. I couldn\x92t see much else, I was in a hurry and he was about 30 feet away, so I was straining my eyes anyway. I should probably try talking to him soon.

June 3^rd, 1998: Not much happened today or yesterday night, so, I have a few jokes.

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It\x92s rated \x91Arrrr\x92.

You know what they say about the evil tuna? He was rotten to the albacore.

Yes, I know those are terrible. I have a better one.

A teenage guy likes this one girl, but he doesn\x92t have the nerve to talk to her. So, he asks his friends about her. He learns that she\x92s working at the hospital. So, he finally works up his courage, goes to the hospital, and asks for her, when the head nurse asks him who he his, he replies, "I\x92m her brother." The head nurse replies, "Well, that\x92s nice to know, I\x92m her mother."

In other news, Ron is quite happy that I\x92m keeping down a job and am bringing in my portion of the bacon. Too bad I hate bacon! I\x92d prefer to be bringing home the nectarines, or, at least, the grapes.

June 6^th, 1998: Well, I finally talked to that beetle-person. Turns out that he\x92s a she! Of course, now that she is a beetle, she lost her, shall we say, \x91feminine indicators.\x92 I gave her $20 and said I\x92d see if I could help her out more. Her name is Elizabeth, and she\x92s a tiger beetle.

June 7^th, 1998: I asked my brother if I could have someone bunking with me. He said it was all right as long as I paid an extra $75 per month and as long as the person pitched in with groceries. So, I plan on asking Elizabeth to live with us, if just for a few weeks.

June 8^th, 1998: Elizabeth is now living in my room. She says she likes it. I set up a partition for her, so she could have some privacy. It was easy to set up, thankfully. It always helps being able to crawl on ceilings. Excellent for dusting, too. No need for those annoying extendible things.

June 11^th, 1998: You know, some days I hate being a giant insect, but, on other days, I love it. I don\x92t watch much TV anymore, except for the Simpsons and King of the Hill, and I don\x92t read much either, or listen to much music, but I\x92ve taken up painting and drawing. These eyes come in really handy for that sort of thing. Details are so much easier, and Ron and Elizabeth say that my drawings are extremely realistic. I\x92ve even got a decent pencil drawing technique down. I can actually use my hands very efficiently now. Writing, typing, drawing, and all that are much, much easier now. I think I can get used to this.

Also, Elizabeth and I have been talking a lot recently. I found out why she transformed, or, at least, why she thinks she did. It\x92s really odd, she conceded. All through her childhood, she always imagined herself as some sort of insect, crawling around doing fun bug stuff (play in the mud, eat stuff, things like that) and looking very pretty with her metallic wingcase and compound, jewel-like eyes. About 3 years ago, though, she and her mother became homeless, and she had only those fond memories to look back on. One day in December, she became a beetle, and, she felt she rather liked it. She\x92s decided that even though she could potentially turn back into a human, she won\x92t. There was nothing good when she was a human, only when she thought of herself as a beetle. Now that she\x92s a beetle, she says, her life is a lot better. I quite admire her strength.

June 15^th, 1998: Ick, between my brother, taxes, and groceries, I barely have any money left over. I\x92ve been saving it for 2 weeks and all I have is $40. I should have closer to $100, but I\x92ve been supporting Elizabeth. I hope she gets a job soon, she\x92s smart and competent, I\x92m sure she can get a job.

June 19^th, 1998: Liz has a job. She\x92s working at the airport as a cargo loader. It\x92s easy work for her, she\x92s pretty strong. No where near as strong as a tiger beetle proportionately, but she can lift 500lbs. over her head with ease. Note to self: never get into a fight with Liz.

June 24^th, 1998: Days have been passing slowly. The neighborhood is finally okay with a pair of giant insects living in their immediate vicinity. Or, they have learned to just ignore us. I don\x92t care, either way, none of them are too interesting anyway, wouldn\x92t be cool friends. Liz and I talk a lot now. We\x92ve been having renting a lot of movies, as of late. TV sucks, mostly, and most books don\x92t hold much interest for us. Fiction has gotten much too unusual since the changes. So, we\x92ve been watching a lot of movies and Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Even rented some Japanese animation. One of them is called "Akira". It has quite a good storyline. Much too complicated to write in my journal, though. I don\x92t think I could forget it anyway.

July 5^th, 1998: Nothing has really happened in the past 2 weeks, for the most part. Yesterday, though, Ron brought over a few of his friends and I brought over a few of mine. We had beers and lit fireworks. Such fun mixing alcohol and explosives. Me is samrt!

July 12^th, 1998: Well, I suppose I can stop writing for a while. Everything\x92s well, life is going good, and I\x92m slowly amassing a pile of cash. Hopefully I can buy Liz and myself an apartment sometime soon. Not a car, though. They are too difficult to drive in this body. Or even ride in comfortably, most of the time.

A couple of years later (fine, a year and 4 months; you happy?):

November 5^th, 2000: I have finally moved out on my own, with Elizabeth. I suppose one could say we are an \x91item\x92 now. Besides being insects, we like a lot of the same things. We have the same tastes in music, food, books, TV, and all sorts of other things. That\x92s tangential, though. My original point, we found a nice little apartment in Tucson, Arizona, a mere 50 miles from our hometown. It\x92s quite nice, and it\x92s in a nice little \x91village\x92 of other therianthropes. I quite like this life. I may be a bug, but I\x92m a happy one. Like Elizabeth now, I don\x92t think I would change back.