Alone?
by Wolfpilot   
12/25/96

I sit alone now as I have always done, in the dark , thinking. I have nothing to live for . No life ...  no friends.... my life is worthless . I am useless ... a nobody.

I feel so empty inside ......so alone ..... so depressed

 The cold steel glints in my paw.... could it really be this easy ?  ...Would anyone really care ?....Would anyone even think about me ? 
 
 All my friends abandoned me when they found out what I was ....so different .....so frightening to them. My family abandoned and abused me at an early age. Why should I continue to live out this miserable life of mine , WHY ?? ....I don't know anymore...I no longer feel anything .....nothing....I am nothing ......  I have forgotten how it feels to smile, laugh ......it's been so long.  

I haven't made a difference to anything , anyone ......Yes, I've tried to help people, but really what does that mean ?.....

I have loved, many times, but all that is gone now, lost to me forever. I have been hurt so many times & it's never been worth it in the end.

 I casually run the blade over my arm, through the fur....marvelling at it's sharpness, staring as blood flows from the wound…. a rich red.

 It IS this easy. I slowly draw the blade across my wrists ...cutting deeply.... I watch as my blood stains my black fur as it runs over my paws & over the keyboard....... No one will care ..... I will not be missed. I feel weak as my blood flows from me ..... I slowly close my eyes as the hand of death comes closer....my breathing becomes shallow ....... I slump over the table as death tightens it's grip upon me .........my tongue lolling from my muzzle as I struggle for a breath that doesn't come ......