The moon was shining bright, a tint of blue around the edges. It shone through the branches of the tree above me, laden with the thick snow that still fell from the heavens above me. I could swear in that one moment that everything left me: reality, time, and my life. I couldn’t feel this hollow in me anymore, this utter emptiness that filled me. I couldn’t feel the pain anymore, how I wanted to cave in and feel the anguish that was circling me, surrounding my thoughts. For a moment, I felt free from it.

That moment didn’t last long enough, and I could hear the silent echoes thunder in my head again. The voice that was the chorus in my heart, that filled me with life, was growing dimmer, and dimmer, and dimmer, to a faint whisper. And soon it would be gone, never to be heard again. I closed my eyes, trying to force out the tears that I could feel welling up in me, but they wouldn’t come. No, I wouldn’t be allowed the satisfaction of being able to show my pain, even if it meant my life.

Feed me, fill me up again. Temporarily pacify this hungering…

“I miss you, hon…” I said, breaking the silence.

I didn’t get a reply. I’m not sure if I was expecting one either.

“I miss you so much… but you knew that, didn’t you?”

The silence grew louder.

“Damnit, speak to me!” I had gotten up now, and fallen to my knees, my hands into fists and beating the cold dirt beneath me. “Answer me, damnit!”

It's time to bring this fire down. Bridle all this indiscretion long enough to edify and permanently fill this hollow.

I could hear the once familiar voice again.

“I didn’t want to get hurt…” she said to me.

I looked up and saw the outline of a figure, one that I knew.

“And I didn’t want to hurt you.”

I smiled somewhat for a brief moment. I heard her voice again, and I could feel myself filled once more. Then came the emptiness again, just as quickly as it had left it returned. “Why..?” I whispered.

She stepped closer, glided almost, her feet never truly touching the ground.

“Please, tell me why…” I said, my voice choked.

“I can’t.” she said softly, as though trying to hide her answer.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. There was the hollow again, the emptiness… I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t see. With my head tilted down to the ground, I closed my eyes, and finally shed a tear, the first, and the last tear in my life. I looked up again, and she had left me once more, her voice now gone from the chorus, that slowly faded to nothing.

And that emptiness, that hollow, filled me again…