Pairing: Rimmer/Rimmer
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After tricking Lister into creating another hologram of himself (i.e., episode Me2), Rimmer discovers that holograms can touch each other…and has some fun with himself.
Second technician Arnold J. Rimmer was in heaven. Not only had he finally managed to move out of the pigsty of a room that he shared with Lister, and its pervasive old-vindaloo-and-stale-sweat stench, but he now shared a room with the most delightful company imaginable – himself.
Yes, he thought smugly, that had been quite a brilliant idea of his, to swap the disks containing his data with those carrying Kochanski’s. He smirked at the memory of Lister’s face when the hologrammatic unit produced a perfect duplicate of himself, rather than the woman Lister had expected. “Well, serves that little git right for trying to shut me off! We both know that he wouldn’t have turned me back on!”
“Quite right, quite right,” Rimmer #2 agreed, strutting over to his bunk and sitting down. “You’re so fantastically insightful, Rimsy!”
“So, ol’ ironballs, what shall we do with the rest of this most pleasant of days? I’ve been wanting to repaint the corridor outside for quite a while. That ocean-grey is absolutely atrocious. A nice coat of military grey, though…”
“What an absolutely splendid idea!” Rimmer #2 effervesced. “You’ve got taste as well as brains!”
Both hologrammatic men sprang up from their bunks simultaneously and, in their haste to start the project, crashed heavily into each other on their way to the door.
“Holy Io!” the original Rimmer gaped after recovering from the collision. “Holograms can…touch each other!” He stared at his fingers in amazement. It had been so long since he had felt anything…so long… His hands were all over his duplicate before he even knew what he was doing.
“Whoa, steady there,” Rimmer #2 chuckled, taking a step backward and finding himself against the bedroom wall.
“I can touch, I can feel!” Rimmer #1 crowed. “You’re so…so solid, so…warm!” Rimmer snatched his hands back as he realized what he had just said. He looked at his double sheepishly.
“Oh, it’s quite all right,” Rimmer #2 replied in a not entirely convincing tone, pinned against the wall.
Rimmer eyed his duplicate carefully. It was himself, all right, down to the curly brown hair that would never lie quite right, the perpetually smirking mouth, the barely visible scar on his soft jawline…
I’m not as bad-looking as I thought, Rimmer realized, staring into his duplicate’s deepset eyes…which were a beautiful shade of hazel, not the nondescript muddy brown he had always thought they were. So maybe his ears stuck out a tad, maybe his nostrils were a bit on the wide side, but all in all, he was a rather attractive young man.
Rimmer #2 returned the gaze, his expression somewhat puzzled, his chest rising and falling visibly with each breath…breaths that Rimmer #1 could feel on his face and neck, warm, moist breaths…
Unable to control himself, he reached out and touched the face of his double. Soft skin, untouched by the rays of any sun…some slight stubble on the jaw and neck…Rimmer reveled in the sensations that he had been denied since his death.
Rimmer #2 smiled awkwardly back, his breaths now audible. Rimmer #1 couldn’t stand it any longer. “Get undressed,” he ordered his duplicate.
“What?”
“I think you heard me!”
Rimmer #2’s fair complexion flushed slightly as he did as he was told and started unbuttoning his drab olive uniform.
“What the smeg am I thinking?” Rimmer wondered as he watched his double loosen his tie and shrug off his shirt. This was weird, and he knew it…but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t ignore the longings that surged through his body, the heat that condensed in his stomach and groin. Rimmer #2 stood straight in front of him, his torso now bare.
“Smeg, I’m pretty sexy,” Rimmer murmured as he examined his duplicate’s upper body. His build was on the wiry side – not overly muscular, but far from flabby. Rimmer came closer until a mere foot of recycled air separated his own body from his double’s. He could feel the heat radiating from the bare flesh in front of him. Rimmer #2 gulped audibly as Rimmer #1 tentatively touched his chest, the small patch of light brown, curly hair in the middle…ran his hands over the soft, flat stomach…traced the trail of hair that led down from his navel to disappear under the waistline of his uniform trousers. Expecting rejection, Rimmer let out the breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding when Rimmer #2 cocked his head to one side, lowered his eyelids, and said, “okay, your turn to strip.”
Sweat trickled down the sides of Rimmer’s face and darkened his light brown hair as he pulled his shirt out of his pants and slowly unbuttoned it. His double stood with his hands on his slender hips, watching, a wide close-mouthed grin on his face. The throbbing in Rimmer’s groin was nearly unbearable…he was being ordered to undress…by himself! He threw his shirt on the floor, pulled off his thin white undershirt, and moved hands that were suddenly shaky down to his fly. A quick glance at the bulge in his duplicate’s trousers confirmed Rimmer #2’s enjoyment of the view as Rimmer #1 unzipped his fly with trembling fingers. He slid his trousers down to his ankles, gasping for air, and let out a small, startled yelp as he felt hot hands on his waist.
“Come ‘ere, you sexy thing,” Rimmer #2 purred, pulling Rimmer #1 to his chest. The feel of that warm, slightly damp flesh, that pounding heart, against his own bare torso was nearly enough to push Rimmer to the breaking point. He swallowed hard and tried to breathe slowly. Not now…not yet! A pair of firm hands gripped his buttocks through the thin white fabric of his regulation boxer shorts and he let out a sound somewhere between a moan, a grunt, and a cry. His hips thrust reflexively into the hardness in his duplicate’s pants.
“Unh,” Rimmer #2 gasped, his entire body jerking in Rimmer #1’s arms. Rimmer #1 took the opportunity to press his lips into his duplicate’s. His double’s mouth opened, allowing Rimmer to hungrily explore the hot, wet inside, breaking loose only for a sharply inhaled breath and a quick glance at Rimmer #2’s open mouth, flushed cheeks, glistening lips, then tasting that mouth again, desperately drinking in its slightly salty taste, the first thing he’d tasted in over three million years. Sweaty hands fumbled at Rimmer’s boxers, slipping under the elastic waistline and causing him to pull back with a muffled cry. No one had ever touched him there like that…no one but himself…so what if this was himself, it was different somehow, entirely different from his frantic midnight masturbation sessions, entirely different, even, from the time when he messed around with a semi-conscious Yvonne McGruder!
Feeling lightheaded, Rimmer undid his duplicate’s fly…marveling at how different it seemed from unbuttoning his own…and rid Rimmer #2 of his trousers. The boxers underneath did little to conceal Rimmer #2’s arousal. Holding his breath, Rimmer #1 stroked the bulge in his double’s underwear with one finger, and then slid his hand down to cup his duplicate’s testicles through the thin white fabric, which was now damp with sweat. A shudder ran through Rimmer #2’s body and he let out a low moan, sinking his fingers deep into Rimmer #1’s buttocks. Encouraged, Rimmer #1 ran his fingertips along the soft, downy insides of his duplicate’s thighs and up under his boxers. He shoved Rimmer #2 against the wall with his body, delighted at the feel of something solid yielding under his touch, mouthed his double’s neck and throat, and ground his hips into him. Rimmer #2 responded with a guttural sound and slid down to the floor, pulling Rimmer #1’s boxers down with him.
Rimmer stood, completely nude except for the “H” on his forehead, his throbbing erection in plain view. Then he felt his duplicate’s lips down there and he nearly lost his balance as his knees went weak and he had to grab his double’s shoulders for support.
“Do you like that, Rimsy?” Rimmer #2 asked, in-between licks.
“Oh god…oh smeg…” Rimmer replied, his fingers digging into the shoulders of his duplicate. He clenched his teeth, his arousal unbearable, when suddenly…the sensations stopped.
“Wha--??” he gasped in a pained voice, looking down through watery eyes.
“Keep your hair on, I’m not through with you,” Rimmer #2 grinned. “I have a better idea.” And with that, he stood, grabbed Rimmer #1’s wrist, and dragged him over to one of the bunks. “Lie down,” he commanded, and the original Rimmer obeyed, curled on his side and whimpering with the unrelieved pressure in his groin. Rimmer #2 climbed into the bed and wrapped himself around Rimmer #1’s back. Rimmer’s eyes widened as he realized what was going to happen.
“That’s it, just loosen up a bit,” Rimmer #2 murmured in Rimmer #1’s ear, the double’s hot breath sending a spasm through Rimmer’s groin. Rimmer tried to relax as he felt something hard press against his sensitive opening. He clenched reflexively at the sensation, and then slowly, slowly, allowed his duplicate to penetrate him, his eyes squeezed shut, his jaw clenched…he must be bigger than he had thought!
“Let me know if I hurt you,” Rimmer #2 whispered, starting a slow, rhythmic motion with his hips that pushed him deeper and deeper inside Rimmer #1.
Rimmer strained to accommodate his double, and gradually the tight pain gave way to a searing pleasure, like electricity sparking in his stomach with each thrust.
“Ah…so tight,” the duplicate gasped, thrusting harder and deeper and drawing breathless grunts from Rimmer #1 each time. He felt like he was being filled up…impaled…torn open… The grunts rose in volume and turned into a hoarse cry as a violent orgasm started in his groin and shuddered through his entire body. He tried unsuccessfully to muffle his cries with his fist as his own hot semen splashed his stomach and chest, as his entire body writhed in the ecstatic throes of the release. The spasms shaking through him brought his duplicate to his own climax, and Rimmer let out another cry at the feel of Rimmer #2’s fluids spurting deep, deep inside him. His duplicate, pressed against his back, smothered his own cries against the back of Rimmer’s neck and wrapped his arms even more tightly around Rimmer’s chest, then slowly relaxed as the orgasm subsided, slipped out of Rimmer with a contented sigh, and flopped onto his back. Rimmer remained on his side, breathing heavily, inhaling the familiar scent of his duplicate and savoring the unfamiliar soreness in his backside.
Both Rimmers sat up with a start at a knock on the door.
“Rimmer!” Lister called from outside the door. “Is everything all right in there? I thought I heard screaming…”
“Everything’s tickety-boo!” the two hologrammatic men replied in hasty unison, before flopping back down on the bed.
Arnold J. Rimmer was in heaven.